Lucy2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Hey, Well I'm on day 2 of NC, I've actually done quite well I think in not contacting him since he dumped me. I am tempted to send him a text though, I might crack in the next few hours. Not sure what I'd say in any case, something dum like 'are u missing me'....not like it would make any difference anyway. Its strange but in a way NC has made me feel more in control of the break up. Does that make sense? Its like you dumped me, so its up to you to miss me and what we had and contact me. Its a weird sort of power as well, as I'm sure he's wondering what I'm doing/who I'm doing it with and why I haven't contacted him. Sorry I'm rambling
lovesickpuppy Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Hi Lucy, I'm NC day 13, I also felt the same way and still do! My best advice is to not contact him please! You don't need to know if he is missing you, I think both you and I know, he obviously is, it's impossible to go from being so close to someone and then split up and not miss them at all. Of course he misses you! Don't contact him, he will start wondering about you, where you are, who you're with, what you're doing and you'll start to become in his eyes, untouchable. In the mean time, focus on you. This NC isn't to bring him back, it's to focus on yourself, the things you want to achieve but haven't yet. Please stay strong. When you feel like contacting him, call a friend or come on love shack, it's the best way STAY STRONG AND KEEP SMILING!!
Author Lucy2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 Hi, Thanks for the reply. It actually made me smile...no mean feet at the moment Yes I know you are right. He must be wondering why I haven't contacted him and missing me - if its only his ego wondering why I haven't begged him to reconsider. I wont contact him..I lose the power then. Stay strong too x
lovesickpuppy Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Yep, you've got it all in one and please, everytime you find yourself wondering why he hasn't been in touch just think woah, I'm putting him on a pedestal! He doesn't deserve being put on a paedestal. As the dumpee's I think we are very lucky, because technically speaking, the ball is now in our court! If they come back, we have the choice and that's so much power. We also have this time to properly heal and start focusing on US. It's such a great time in our lives, really embrace this, you will learn so much from it. In 13 days I have learnt I'm stronger than I ever thought I was! I've achieved something I never thought I could achieve, I do have low days, but hey, tomorrow will be a better day. I'm better than my ex, and so are you They don't deserve us pining over them one tiny bit, at least we have the ability to stay in a relationship rather than taking the cowards way out and ending it when things get a tiny bit difficult! I hope this helps you xxx
k100danny Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 I really wish i had done no contact from the start. when my ex broke up with me she did it by text, well she said she didnt think she could give me what i need ect, we had lots of arguments about me being jealous ect and i suppose it got too much, not saying it was all my fault but still. when she did it she said please dont reply as she needed some time alone and was going to leave her phone at home and stay at her sisters. what did i do? i text her, around 4 times. we stayed in contact for a week and she said she missed me and of course she had feelings but deep down she didnt think i was making her happy and the arguments ect she just didnt feel we could work. Well a week later and we had been in contact a lot we had text and she was at a bar near my house with one of her guy friends (was an actual friend id met him many times) so she asks me to meet her, i do and we chat breifly and she asks me to go for a drink with them, i decline and we are ncie to each other and i walk away. I feel so confident, i felt i had some power back. then she calls me, and comes to my house. saying im sorry i do love you, i really miss you but i just couldnt handle it. she says i know you dont miss me and you dont love me anymore( me being stupid admitted i still did) then she leaves. Now she has the power back!!! so this starts another text conversation for a few days and she says she is sorry she shouldnt have come to my house it was wrong, then she changes her number!!! WTF!!! Now i feel like a crazy stalker, to be honest i maybe did try to get to the bottom of the relationship more than i should have i should have just accepted it realy but i felt awful!!. we end up having a conversation through facebook messages, she admits to changing her number says it wasnt to do with me( i dont believe that) says it was to do with her giving her number out and then regretting it. she said she didnt tell me because she just wated a few days to not have to go over things. we dont speak for a week. she send me a message on facebook. how are you? hope you are ok ect ect x this starts me up again and we end up chatting a lot again via facebook, then she blocks me!! taken the power back. this isnt the end of it all but you get the picture. I wish i had let her do all the work, im not there to stop her guilt as she shouldnt really feel guilty if she wasnt happy then ok. It takes time to heal it really does and it takes them time too. but being the person who was dumped i really wish i had the self control to go no contact from the beginning. i should have just replied to her text first off and said ok i understand or something polite and left it. is left me feeling so low.
Author Lucy2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 Hey both, Thanks for the replies. Well I'm on day 3 of NC...I should write a blog ...and it sucks! I've been desperate all day to text him but have resisted. He's hurt me, I honestly thought he was a decent person but guess I was wrong. Lovesickpuppy..you are so right in what you have posted thank you. k100danny...sorry to hear about your situation, we are all in the same boat, at least you aren't alone. Its sooo tough though. I really want to text him
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