caseinpoint Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Maybe this doesn't apply to all dating websites but this one that I'm on allows everyone to click on a bar to show the other person that they're interested in them. I don't get it. When I receive those "I'm interested in you" auto messages, I can't help but think now what. Are those people too lazy to type a few more words to send me an email or IM me when we're both online? What function does that kind of auto messages do? Of course when I receive them, I can write to them and start the ball rolling. But seriously? They just want to throw the ball back at me when the game hasn't even begun?
Author caseinpoint Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 Like, totally. I agree with you 100%. In my experience nothing has ever come of that, and TBH, why would it. If a man hasn't got the energy or interest to type 2 lines, its gameover. The website should disable that function! But then again, it's allowed us to sift through the lazy ones. Now, men who use this function, what do you have to say for yourself now?
Cypress25 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 I use a website that allows users to click a button that says "Wants to meet you," which will trigger the website to send an auto message that says "So-and-so wants to meet you." OK?! That's the epitome of lazy. If a guy wants to meet me, he can write me an email. And how does he know he wants to meet me anyway? He hasn't looked at my profile, he hasn't talked to me, he knows absolutely nothing about me except that I'm female. And how am I supposed to respond to that anyway? Am I supposed to send him a message that says "I see you want to meet me. Who the hell are you?" I'd rather exchange a few emails first before agreeing to meet someone.
Author caseinpoint Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 I use a website that allows users to click a button that says "Wants to meet you," which will trigger the website to send an auto message that says "So-and-so wants to meet you." OK?! That's the epitome of lazy. If a guy wants to meet me, he can write me an email. And how does he know he wants to meet me anyway? He hasn't looked at my profile, he hasn't talked to me, he knows absolutely nothing about me except that I'm female. And how am I supposed to respond to that anyway? Am I supposed to send him a message that says "I see you want to meet me. Who the hell are you?" I'd rather exchange a few emails first before agreeing to meet someone. Sometimes I just click "return interest" too. Two can play the game. You would think if they know you're interested too, they might have some balls to send you an email, but no. I never heard back from them. If that's not lame, I don't know what is.
FitChick Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 There are variations depending on the website, like making someone a Favorite, winking at them, becoming their Fan. They can often send one liners like "I'm interested, tell me more." They are generally not subscribers so I can understand them not wanting to join if there is no reciprocal interest. I ignore if I'm not interested or respond the same way if I am. If I'm interested they will pay so we can have a conversation. What bugs me is seeing the same guys looking at my profile over and over, making me a Favorite, then emailing me. When I respond with an email I never hear from them again and they often remove their profile! It's like a weird game similar to men getting a woman's phone number in a bar. That is the goal, not meeting the person. Need I tell you that these are generally single, never married men? Sad gits.
Cypress25 Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I only use free dating sites, so no excuses there. Guys don't have to pay any money to send me a message, they're just too lazy.
oaks Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I don't get it. When I receive those "I'm interested in you" auto messages, I can't help but think now what. Are those people too lazy to type a few more words to send me an email or IM me when we're both online? What function does that kind of auto messages do? Of course when I receive them, I can write to them and start the ball rolling. But seriously? They just want to throw the ball back at me when the game hasn't even begun? Are you complaining because the people who express interest in this way aren't people who you want to date? Would you be complaining if, when you clicked on the profile, it was someone who ticked all your boxes? I don't use those features myself, because I know that lots of people view it negatively (lazy, impersonal etc) but to try and answer some of your questions... yes, it might be a bit lazy but it indicates that they are 'interested' in finding out more about you based on your profile. (I'm not sure which site it is, but it's nice to see the plain language used rather than, eg, Plenty of Fish which has "Meet Me" which is basically a euphemism for the same thing.) If you look at their profile and are equally 'interested' in finding out about them then you could click whatever button expresses your interest. Simple really. You could write back (ie, be the first to write) but I doubt that it's expected. If you like them then just click that you're interested and leave it to them to find their keyboard. As for people then failing to respond after a mutual exchange of these pre-scripted messages - I've had that happen myself on the few occasions when women have contacted me first via such mechanisms, and sometimes I've even mailed them and got no reply even though they wanted to "meet me" or had added me as their "favourite". Also, on some sites some people don't know how these features work and get confused between a feature that indicates interest to the other party with a feature that might just 'bookmark' a profile they are interested in for future review.
oaks Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 What bugs me is seeing the same guys looking at my profile over and over, making me a Favorite, then emailing me. When I respond with an email I never hear from them again and they often remove their profile! I've been in the same position with the sexes reversed. Sometimes I figure that they were new to online dating and ran away scared, and sometimes I wonder if they met someone and 'hid' their profile (which can appear the same as removing their profile on some sites) because they don't entertain the idea of multi-dating. Of course sometimes they probably didn't like what I said when I replied, or they hadn't studied my profile properly until I replied and found something they didn't like.
oaks Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Now, men who use this function, what do you have to say for yourself now? Aww. Let's not limit it to men. These features are used by women, too.
Author caseinpoint Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 There are variations depending on the website, like making someone a Favorite, winking at them, becoming their Fan. They can often send one liners like "I'm interested, tell me more." They are generally not subscribers so I can understand them not wanting to join if there is no reciprocal interest. I ignore if I'm not interested or respond the same way if I am. If I'm interested they will pay so we can have a conversation. What bugs me is seeing the same guys looking at my profile over and over, making me a Favorite, then emailing me. When I respond with an email I never hear from them again and they often remove their profile! It's like a weird game similar to men getting a woman's phone number in a bar. That is the goal, not meeting the person. Need I tell you that these are generally single, never married men? Sad gits. That's another strange thing. Someone emails me, I reply, and I never hear from them ever again. I only use free dating sites, so no excuses there. Guys don't have to pay any money to send me a message, they're just too lazy. I'll probably get flak for saying this but I see that those that don't pay are just trying to get "free lunch." I mean if they're really serious about joining the site in the hope of finding someone, they would take it more seriously. Are you complaining because the people who express interest in this way aren't people who you want to date? Would you be complaining if, when you clicked on the profile, it was someone who ticked all your boxes? You could write back (ie, be the first to write) but I doubt that it's expected. If you like them then just click that you're interested and leave it to them to find their keyboard. Actually, no. Some of them I do find interesting, so I email them or return the interest. Some reply and some don't(!).
Ladyfuzz Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Beats getting a message that says 'Hi' and thats all the message says, that tells you how lazy someone is .
Cypress25 Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 I'll probably get flak for saying this but I see that those that don't pay are just trying to get "free lunch." I mean if they're really serious about joining the site in the hope of finding someone, they would take it more seriously. I meant the sites I use are free. Paying for them is not an option, lol. I don't pay for it either, but I'm serious about finding someone. I just think the paid sites are a rip-off, since all the same people are on the free sites too. Besides, in this economy, many people can't afford extras.
Cypress25 Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Beats getting a message that says 'Hi' and thats all the message says, that tells you how lazy someone is . LOL, I've gotten those too. Most of the messages I get are along the lines of "whats up" or "hey sexy" or "how r u." It blows my mind. Do they really expect a response? My favorite one was when a guy literally copy/pasted his entire profile into an email and sent it to me. WTF?
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