caseinpoint Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 A guy calls you while on the last leg of his holiday abroad that he wants to see you, says you can pick any day that you're free and any venue, do you think of him as being considerate or too lazy to plan? Some context: I don't know him a long time. I've only met him twice before his holiday. Never contacted me once during his holiday.
january2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 I'd probably be a bit miffed that he didn't contact me at all during his holiday. That would colour my view of any subsequent communications from him. Thus I'd lean towards him being too lazy. But who knows? Perhaps he felt that he hadn't really gotten to know you enough to 'owe' you a short text about looking forward to getting to know you more when he gets back. Though in my mind a guy who is interested doesn't disappear off the face of the earth and then expect that you'll still want to see him when he reappears. However, if you don't have anything else going on though and liked him enough pre-holiday to want to see more of him, why not just see if there's anything there?
Author caseinpoint Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 I'd probably be a bit miffed that he didn't contact me at all during his holiday. That would colour my view of any subsequent communications from him. Thus I'd lean towards him being too lazy. But who knows? Perhaps he felt that he hadn't really gotten to know you enough to 'owe' you a short text about looking forward to getting to know you more when he gets back. Though in my mind a guy who is interested doesn't disappear off the face of the earth and then expect that you'll still want to see him when he reappears. However, if you don't have anything else going on though and liked him enough pre-holiday to want to see more of him, why not just see if there's anything there? OMG. I thought people on LS would start bashing me for being a princess for thinking that way. He last contacted me before his holiday, about how he wants to know more of me. So you would think he wouldn't drop the ball during the holiday. I must say his lack of contact and now expecting me to plan has really deducted points for him. Whether I have anything else to do is besides the point already.
Author caseinpoint Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 I'd also like to ask whether you guys think I should still go out with him or cut my losses?
FitChick Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 He probably thought he'd get lucky on his holiday with a lot of hot chicks, but didn't. So you look that much better to him now! Go out with him and lie about all the wonderful fun things you did while he was gone. I actually like being able to pick the place to go because, if the date was terrible, I'd at least enjoy the food or entertainment.
serial muse Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 To present another viewpoint...based only on the information presented in the OP, I wouldn't take it as too lazy at all. He's on vacation and wants to see you. Seems to me like you're overthinking this. Just pick a place convenient for you and tell him to meet you there at a time convenient for you. What's the big deal? Or is there some other history here that is coloring how you think about this guy? If not, I'm really not getting the problem.
Author caseinpoint Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 To present another viewpoint...based only on the information presented in the OP, I wouldn't take it as too lazy at all. He's on vacation and wants to see you. Seems to me like you're overthinking this. Just pick a place convenient for you and tell him to meet you there at a time convenient for you. What's the big deal? Or is there some other history here that is coloring how you think about this guy? If not, I'm really not getting the problem. I guess the fact that he only called me at the end of his holiday (no contact during the entire trip otherwise) already didn't sit well with me. So when he made me do all the "planning," I didn't think too well of it.
carhill Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Since you've met him twice in your life, apparently, what is the nature of this interaction? I ask because I don't quite see a correlation yet. If he's your BF or H, sure he should be contacting you consistently and be more decisive about plans when he gets back. If he's a guy you've dated regularly but who is not your BF, perhaps, but no guarantees nor expectations. I'd say exactly the same thing for women, for women are who taught me this life lesson. I used to be that 'contact' guy. I note the OP, the tone 'considerate or too lazy to plan' and the man being on the woman's mind, perhaps in an annoying way. This man is doing well. I expect, when he returns, that you will go out with him and it will be a happy reunion. Good luck
zengirl Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I'm more with serial muse. Honestly, I wouldn't expect a guy I dated a couple of times to text or call me while on holiday, and I probably wouldn't text or call a guy in that situation. I may FB comment or something, but that's about it.
thatone Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 i don't get the reason you're thinking he didn't take the time to plan anything, although i've seen it before. it just seems practical to me, if i'm coming from out of town to where you live, it stands to reason that you know what to do there better than me, so you pick something you like to do? what's wrong with that?
Author caseinpoint Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 Since you've met him twice in your life, apparently, what is the nature of this interaction? I ask because I don't quite see a correlation yet. If he's your BF or H, sure he should be contacting you consistently and be more decisive about plans when he gets back. If he's a guy you've dated regularly but who is not your BF, perhaps, but no guarantees nor expectations. I'd say exactly the same thing for women, for women are who taught me this life lesson. I used to be that 'contact' guy. I note the OP, the tone 'considerate or too lazy to plan' and the man being on the woman's mind, perhaps in an annoying way. This man is doing well. I expect, when he returns, that you will go out with him and it will be a happy reunion. Good luck We've only met up for lunch and coffee. They aren't big deal but the fact that we've been communicating everyday up to the holiday, I'd have just liked that to have continued. I'm more with serial muse. Honestly, I wouldn't expect a guy I dated a couple of times to text or call me while on holiday, and I probably wouldn't text or call a guy in that situation. I may FB comment or something, but that's about it. At least you would FB comment. I wouldn't expect a guy I had only met once or twice to text me on holiday either!!!! TBH, it could be a nice gesture: what would YOU like to do, he is giving you a great free rein. Why not take the chance ? I may take the chance. i don't get the reason you're thinking he didn't take the time to plan anything, although i've seen it before. it just seems practical to me, if i'm coming from out of town to where you live, it stands to reason that you know what to do there better than me, so you pick something you like to do? what's wrong with that? We live in the same city. He's not coming from elsewhere to visit me. So we both know what there is the city offers. I guess I wouldn't have taken his "lack of planning" negatively if not because it was on top of his lack of commuications during the holiday.
thatone Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 ok, that makes more sense then, it sounded like he was stopping by to see you while traveling, not after.
Recommended Posts