ladybug229 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 My ex broke up with me in the last week of August because he said he didn't love me anymore which really confuses me because the entire week leading up to the breakup he said things along the line of "I love you more than anything and always will" and "you're my dream girl" and he even mentioned marriage so the breakup was basically an out of the blue kinda thing. Recently, a mutual friend said that the reason for the breakup was because my ex though I cheated on him (which I did NOT). I also said some really nasty things during the breakup as a spur of the moment fit of rage, and all I want to do is apologize for saying those things and let him know that I would never cheat... the only problem is that we haven't spoken since the breakup so I have a feeling he would ignore me, and he is already seeing someone else, and I don't want him or his new gf to think that I am trying to refuel the flame between me and him, or split them up. I honestly just want to get some closure so I can move on because I don't think he'll ever take me back. Should I try talking to him?
geegirl Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 It's awfully fishy that someone who claimed to love you more than anything, just leaves you after "learning" you were cheating versus confronting you with it. I mean if loved a guy more than anything in this world and one day found out he was cheating, I wouldn't just say unemotionally that I didn't love him anymore and leave. I have a feeling he was putting the blame on you to absolve him of the guilt of wanting to leave you. Just seems too convenient. People can always tell you the sun revolves around you and decide it doesn't anymore. It's just words. If you were that special and important to him, he would have reacted. The fact that he didn't, and even if he did feel you cheated, I have a strong feeling it was reinforcement for what he was already intending to do.
EgoJoe Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 This my friends is a very clear cut example of the egotistical defense mechanism known as projection. Don't apologize.
Author ladybug229 Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 So you're both saying that I should just not talk to him at all?
geegirl Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 we haven't spoken since the breakup so I have a feeling he would ignore me, and he is already seeing someone else, and I don't want him or his new gf to think that I am trying to refuel the flame between me and him, or split them up. I honestly just want to get some closure so I can move on because I don't think he'll ever take me back. Should I try talking to him? You asked if you should apologize. No. You haven't spoken since the breakup. You feel he will ignore you. He has moved on to someone else. What do you want to talk to him about? Your closure should come from within in that he left you and you have move on. I have a strong feeling you want to break the ice to get a reaction to see if there is interest.
Author ladybug229 Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 You asked if you should apologize. No. You haven't spoken since the breakup. You feel he will ignore you. He has moved on to someone else. What do you want to talk to him about? Your closure should come from within in that he left you and you have move on. I have a strong feeling you want to break the ice to get a reaction to see if there is interest. Yea I kinda feel that way too... I know deep down inside I just want to find an excuse to talk to him because I do want him back so much.
geegirl Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Yea I kinda feel that way too... I know deep down inside I just want to find an excuse to talk to him because I do want him back so much. Look, he left because most likely he wanted to and not because he claimed you cheated. He's in a new R and you need to respect that and it doesn't seem like he is reaching out and that's because he has moved on. You said you don't want to reach out and make it seem like you are trying to refuel or put a wedge between them, whether you meant that or not, you should try to stand by those words, for your sake.
Author ladybug229 Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 Look, he left because most likely he wanted to and not because he claimed you cheated. He's in a new R and you need to respect that and it doesn't seem like he is reaching out and that's because he has moved on. You said you don't want to reach out and make it seem like you are trying to refuel or put a wedge between them, whether you meant that or not, you should try to stand by those words, for your sake. Alright, I'll do my best to move on.
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