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Dumper's Remorse/Guilt-Full of crap


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Posted
Anyways.....................

 

Everyone else reading this thread (except for the bitter *******s) don't listen to idiots like EggJoe. Bitter BITCH.

 

Cut your ex off, don't worry about them and go on about your business.

 

Eyo, bitch, go learn to read!

Posted

Fantastic rebuttal! Allow me to retort: No. You're retarded. Literally. I commend your obvious triumph over the hurdles of a sub-one hundred IQ and yet I now feel compelled to say the following:

 

My post was specifically geared to address a very broad-spectrum statement that followed a generalization from someone experiencing emotional turmoil and anger. My point was quite clear to elaborate on the findings of my personal observations and provide some of the personal insight I obtained.

 

Furthermore, I would have you know that I respect WOMEN as I've come to know and use the term as iterated in my first post in this thread. I would also have you know that my final point in my original post was not to derail but to articulate a personal finding that after a few months of NC, personal growth, selfless release and monumentous efforts to better yourself that you would be surprised what you cared about as your perspective will alter so greatly once the emotionally attached fog of confusion fades and you return to a state much more closely aligned with the normative consensus.

 

Begone, worm. Find another slave.

Posted
I didn't read this senseless drivel of a post. Nobody gives a flying **** what the hell you gotta say now.

 

I reiterate: suck a dick, bitch.

 

 

Didn't or couldn't?

 

Your Ego is showing.

Posted

More like "Going nowhere Fast 2 Furious"...:confused: dayum!

 

 

Anyhow, i believe if a person did/does care about you it's quite possible for him/her to feel real remorse and guilty and wish you happiness and feel bad things didnt work out. My own ex-Gf is a prime example of this. Infact she's an extreme example of this as she blames herself for the whole thing and thinks she ruined my life.

Posted
More like "Going nowhere Fast 2 Furious"...:confused: dayum!

 

 

Anyhow, i believe if a person did/does care about you it's quite possible for him/her to feel real remorse and guilty and wish you happiness and feel bad things didnt work out. My own ex-Gf is a prime example of this. Infact she's an extreme example of this as she blames herself for the whole thing and thinks she ruined my life.

 

A cursory thought about your statement about your Ex would be that she's self-deprecating as an exercise of another egotistical defense mechanism known as deflection to avoid pain. Have some heart she's hurting too but it may not be genuine remorse. That is typically expressed with amends. Not necessarily reconciliation but there are a few actions which can genuinely express this.

Posted
A cursory thought about your statement about your Ex would be that she's self-deprecating as an exercise of another egotistical defense mechanism known as deflection to avoid pain. Have some heart she's hurting too but it may not be genuine remorse. That is typically expressed with amends. Not necessarily reconciliation but there are a few actions which can genuinely express this.

 

The bolded is certainly true. She is not one to "make up" for things so my first instinct was that you are right and it might not be remorse. However, it works both ways with her, whenever i did something to upset her or hurt her she did not allow me to make it up, she just want me to say sorry and agree to avoid doing it again and treat her normally from then now.

 

So offering her flowers and bonbons to her if i had lied or said something hurtful would only keep her hurt/angry longer. "Making up for it" would feel like "kissing up" to her. :rolleyes:

Posted
Your illiteracy is showing.

 

 

When you attempt to manuever from victim to opponent it is important to remember that to question someone's intelligence and therefore question their investment. You kind of have to pose a good question.

Posted

If dumper feel any guilt why has my ex never contacted me, not once?

Posted

you are lucky... trust me

Posted

Sadprincess from past experience, I agree 100percent with what you say.

Posted
If dumper feel any guilt why has my ex never contacted me, not once?

 

If a dumper feels guilty about "ruining your life" or making you feel crap with the break-up, he/she might feel it's better for you if he/she stays out of your life.

 

Or the dumper simply doesnt want to feel guilty anymore and stays out of your life for that reason. Which would be more selfish ofc.

 

Simply put, i think there is just no way of knowing if a dumper really feels guilty and remorseful about dumping you. Even if he/she does, the dumper probably still feels it's "best for us both in the long run" or something like that.

 

Which sucks to hear ofc and you disagree with the dumper.

Posted

Good point. My now ex. said something like, it's better that I do it now (dump me) than later for the both of us.

  • 1 month later...
Posted

wow I know this thread is old but i found it through google ha. and i just wanted to say THANK YOU egojoe you gave me a laugh which are hard to come by lately while reading that arguement. I liked the part where you said hell hath no fury like a woman scorned then the sexist female ironically called you sexist and went crazy thus proving your quote. oh man haha.

 

anyways with regard to the topic in case anyone feels like discussing it further now that its bumped id like to think dumpers remorse is very real because when my ex reached out chances are she had no intentions of being nice or making me feel better it was most likely just to ease her own guilt.

Posted

I think *some* dumpers do indeed feel guilty, and *some* don't.

 

In any case, all of it is just messed up. Hearts ****ing suck.

Posted (edited)

My ex feels absolutely no remorse and even less guilt over the things he did and the way he treated me.

 

He spent almost a year meeting, dating, and planning to marry another woman behind my back. If I hadn't gotten suspicious and looked at her FB page to see her happy and shining announcment, I would have never known. And he never would have told me. He would have continued to lie and try to blow smoke up my as*.

 

He has never once contacted me, except to send me a virus when my father died.

 

He is now happily married and has never thought once about the way he spent nearly 3 years treating me like dirt.

 

To this day, he is still lying to people about the end of our relationship, about how he didn't do anything wrong, about how I would not' let go of him (hence the year of our relationship that he now claims never happened) and on and on. The man is a pig.

Edited by shayla
Posted (edited)

deleted post for reasons

Edited by wilsonx
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