Jamesg2936 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 I am 19, and I've been dating with my first ever girlfriend, love, and lover over for 2 years or so now. The relationship is pretty good. I love her. She really loves me. But there is a nag in the back of my mind that says I could do better, and I'm just staying here cause of comfort. We fight at a low-squabbling often, especially when I am too busy to text / call her, which is what my lifestyle is like. Our sex life is active, almost too active that I take it for granted. Sometimes I just do it for the sake of it. She is extremely emotional, and always looks to me for comfort very often. She relies on me very heavily, and has had many emotional breakdowns in the past. The thought of leaving her makes my stomach lurch. I don't want to be alone. Being with her is warm. She makes me smile, and from time to time, when I look at her, my whole being just wants to protect and support her. In addition, she talks about wanting to be with me for a long time, and has said months ago that she doesn't think she can do better than me, and will give up on love if it doesn’t work. I care deeply about her, and don't want to hurt her. At the same time, I feel like I want to live my life young and go explore, find adventure and not be weighed down by a long term relationship limiting what I can do. I have a complex about not experiencing life during my teenage years, and am deathly afraid of missing out on life experiences. (This all probably started when friends of mind talked about how they spent their teens/young-twenties having wild crazy random-sex). She is older and more interested in settling down/long term thinking than I Stay with her and test to see if it fizzles or really bonds? Break now and get clean starts? Supress my disturbing mind and give this my best go? What should I do?
ken_25 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Go with your gut. Let me tell you though, leaving a good woman and going off to have crazy random sex isn't worth it. It all is very meaningless and you may truly regret it down the road. But, if you feel this is something you truly need to do and there are other things you need to do without her, then let her be with someone that wants to be with her, deserves her love and won't leave her for their selfish reasons.
AlisaMarie Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 I often wonder if my boyfriend feels the same. He finds love and security in me but on the other hand, he is young and I am sure he gets jealous when his friends start hooking up and blabbing. You mentioned she is older, how much? I really don't think age is a problem. You two can have fun and have a successful life together if it's truly love. I wouldn't risk moving on if you feel she is something special because even if you sexed up a bunch of girls you will be older and wondering why you let her get away. Just a thought.
Author Jamesg2936 Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 She is less an a year older, I wanted to edit the post to get rid of that because we are virtually the same age. Yes, I might regret it if i moved on but if i dont I will never know....
AlisaMarie Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Just promise me this... if she has a soul like mine she will forgive you and take you back if you find out she is best... but guess what? You wonder again and again. If you do end it... take the plunge and don't contact her until you are both healed and may have a chance to start fresh. I may be jumping the gun and you may just want to know how others feel. Also- be sensitive to "waiting until someone better comes along." You should follow your gut but let your heart guide you as well.
Author Jamesg2936 Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 My gut tells me to go on and explore, a break might be the solution to see what happens when we are both seperate for a few months, and i would never want to upset her so I am always very careful about "waiting until someone better comes along"
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