Author Engadget Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 Hey Engadget---how are you holding up? Eh, alright. Still running it through my mind trying to figure out what pushed her to that point. My mom reminded me she had tried it before in high school. She was dating a good friend of mine at the time that was bi-polar, and she tried to kill herself and I don't remember why. I ended up going to my friend's house, and had to witness him try to kill himself with a razor that same day too. I wish she had tried to talk to me, but it was her choice not to and there wasn't anything I could do about it.
Trimmer Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 So kristi - it's probably too much to expect an apology from you, but will you at least admit you were WRONG, and your attack on the OP was based on WRONG assumptions? Why hide from our situation or white wash it? He knows the score. Let's coddle him and not to worry that they were ****ing around and she cut him off just as a divorce began. Yes the solution to everything. Coddle coddle coddle it is what makes our world such a happy spoiled little place. No responsibility for your deeds. Will you take responsibility for your deeds? Or will you hide from your situation and white wash it?
Eve Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 (edited) Sad story. Hope you find some of the answers you are looking for but really, sometimes people don't make it and can't ask for help. Although not the same as a romantic connection, my friend back in school lost her brother to suicide and she never got over it. It is like being robbed of a proper ending Engadget. Find a way to say goodbye for yourself. This will need to be done, even if you go to the grave methinks. I remember my friend having to do something as such. She is an artist and produced a piece of work for her brother. So sad.. Take care, Eve x Edited October 18, 2011 by Eve
freestyle Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 Eh, alright. Still running it through my mind trying to figure out what pushed her to that point. My mom reminded me she had tried it before in high school. She was dating a good friend of mine at the time that was bi-polar, and she tried to kill herself and I don't remember why. I ended up going to my friend's house, and had to witness him try to kill himself with a razor that same day too. I wish she had tried to talk to me, but it was her choice not to and there wasn't anything I could do about it. It's not the kind of thing you're going to "get over" anytime soon. Sadly, the fallout from a suicide can be far-reaching and long-lasting.I haven't lost anyone close that way, but it did happen to a few people in my extended social circle.....it was really hard for them to process it. I had a boyfriend try the razor thing when I was a teenager---very half-heartedly---it was more of a manipulation, to keep me from breaking up with him. It didn't achieve the result he was looking for--it pissed me off,more than anything-- because I recognized it for the manipulation it was.......Still, it was a horrible thing to witness. I imagine it was even worse for you , seeing a friend do that, if they were serous about it. To echo what Eve just said--it's one of those times when you're going to have to create your own sense of closure. Setting aside some time to honor her memory may be helpful. My heart goes out to you, for the kind of pain this has caused.
Trimmer Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 (edited) Yes I am sorry for leaping out there. A real sore spot was hit with this one. My son's friend recently lost their mommy because of a fwb situ. His mommy was fooling with an old high school friend who was just a friend with benefits. Her husband found out. She could not live with the shame and fall out from her philandering and offed herself. Her littles lives are forever changed and for what? Not even love. Just a little FWB. Friends with benefits is so course and unrefined to me. Just makes me ill. If you want to get off don't use someone you do not care enough about to do it. Get a toy, some porn something, not a real person to hurt. Good for you, but that's a little half-hearted, isn't it? You really went out of control, and I'll point out that your very angry and crude comments were at first more focused on your wrong assumption that they were intimate while she was married as any issue with the "FWB" label: You do realize this woman was married and he had a friends with benifits situation with her? Wonder if her husband found out you were ****ing her and that was affecting the divorce. She was going through a divorce and suddenly cut her friend with benefits off. Could that not be the reason why? Should he not know that playing friends with benefits with a married person could have serious repercussions. He may need to think about this for future philandering. You weren't just expressing your distaste for the FWB idea, you accused him of "****ing her" while she was married, affecting their divorce, and assumed he would engage in "future philandering." You didn't just state an "honest opinion", you turned it into shots at him personally, in a really mean way, at a sensitive time. And yes, I'm rubbing your nose it in a little, because you were out of control and you turned it into a nasty personal attack, and you need to see that. Edited October 18, 2011 by Trimmer
Author Engadget Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 It's not the kind of thing you're going to "get over" anytime soon. Sadly, the fallout from a suicide can be far-reaching and long-lasting.I haven't lost anyone close that way, but it did happen to a few people in my extended social circle.....it was really hard for them to process it. I had a boyfriend try the razor thing when I was a teenager---very half-heartedly---it was more of a manipulation, to keep me from breaking up with him. It didn't achieve the result he was looking for--it pissed me off,more than anything-- because I recognized it for the manipulation it was.......Still, it was a horrible thing to witness. I imagine it was even worse for you , seeing a friend do that, if they were serous about it. To echo what Eve just said--it's one of those times when you're going to have to create your own sense of closure. Setting aside some time to honor her memory may be helpful. My heart goes out to you, for the kind of pain this has caused. Thanks. I keep wanting to call her and find myself almost doing it before I realize she's gone, I still can't really believe it.
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