safetyv Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 so after a month of no contact i have decided that breaking up really was the best decision. i msgd her just to say hi after the month was up and we texted back and forth for a little while, just left it light. then a few days later i txtd her to say we should catch up for ice cream to which she agreed but we did not set a date as i knew she would be out of town that week now a week after that, she came into my work (an ice skating rink) to skate. everyone knew she was coming in but she didnt tell me? i mean she told like 5 other people she was going into my work but not me? we spoke a little bit. she got temperamental at me when i said "this is kinda awkward huh?" later we had about a 15minute conversation that went pretty well. so the next day i sent her a message saying "even though there was no ice cream im glad we can be friends" to which she replied "friends is good" i just feel like there is so much tension. i really just want us to be friends. how?
k100danny Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 I tried to be friends with my ex straight away, then again after around a month, then again after 2 months. i really wanted us to be friends as we were really close friends before we got together. you see after youve been together as much as you would like to be friends. (if that really is what you want) until there are no feelings at all and time has dulled a few memories so you can look back with no emotions its going to be pretty much impossible. There me be a totally mutual break up and people have been able to be total friends straight away but i dont see it. I beleive you can be friends with an ex but definitely after you have both moved on totally and it will take time. dont try to force being friends thinking you will lose the person out of your life if you dont try now. If you really were friends before and want to be friends again you will be in the future. Sometimes when the feelings have gone you realise you dont want to be friends (not saying you will have harsh feelings) you just wont want them as a close friend and they will become more of an acquaintance.
CarrieT Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 i just feel like there is so much tension. i really just want us to be friends. how? More time. You can't push it... I am friends with all my Ex's (except one) and the friendship could never happen until ALL of the healing had taken place. Sometimes it takes a month, sometimes it takes a year. Everyone is different. As long as there is still tension, then there is still healing go on between you two and that just takes time. Breathe and don't push. Just be yourself and don't dwell on the tension. The friendship will occur naturally.
triphopper414 Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Why would you want to be friends with your ex? I refuse to be friends with any of my exes. Sometimes they still text me, but I just ignore them. There is no reason for them to text me. They broke up with me for a reason and I broke up with them for a reason. Were you good friends before? Are you completely over her? Are you trying to create a fallback position for either one of you just in case you want some out of the relationship and post-break up loving? Do you think still there is a chance? There is no problem being cordial to someone, but I would not go out of my way to be friends with them. If you have to ponder if you should still be friends, chances are you should not be friends. Friendship is not conditional in these circumstances.
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