Hi; I'm new.

[yeszombie]

I have so much to write and even thinking about writing it hurts me right now.

I'll try to cut a long story short and then hopefully someone out there will be able to talk to me about it. I'm sick of the rolling eyes of my friends and family.

I was with A for three years. We started off rocky. Three months into our relationship, I fell pregnant and he forced me to have a termination. He didn't come with me, wouldn't speak to me, wouldn't see me until 'it' was done.

We then got back together about a month after the termination and although we had bad patches - doesn't everyone?

A was a theif. He stolen from me many times. Last year on my birthday, he punched me in my face. He wasn't an amazing man, but I loved him. I do know that I am better off without him.

He also used cocaine and other drugs. He was clean for two and a half years, and started using again in March just gone. This is probably where our break up began, but he didn't leave me properly until August.

We were trying for a baby and I fell pregnant and miscarried in April. I don't know when I fell pregnant, but I lost the baby. On the day I told him I was pregnant - he stayed out for three nights and didn't come home. I later found out that he had kissed an ex-friend of mine - and God knows what else happened.

I haven't seen him in two months. There is so much more to this story. I have a four year old son and A has been like a father to him. [Although my son knows and sees his real Dad regularly and has only ever called A, 'A']. It's just hard.

I thought my life was on track. That I was an engaged, happy woman and that I was going to have a family afterall. My happy ending.

I haven't seen him [have heard from him now and again asking to lend money, asking for naked photos of me - wtf?]... but now he has left his job because he ran up a debt with them, so his phone has been disconnected [probably a blessing in disguise] and we have one another blocked on social networking sites as I saw some messages he was sending to a girl last month and an argument began.

I just don't know what to do. The thought of Christmas alone, without him, makes me feel sick.

What is wrong with me? How do I get over this?

WHY did he do this to me? I feel like I will be alone forever...

[yeszombie]

Oh and thank you for reading this.

[Buttercup84]

Hi and welcome:)

 

I am so sorry to hear about what happend to you.What a jerk. I know how hard it is , still loving that person despite how they treated you.

 

My ex was a bit emotionaly abusive and yet I still love him and only see the good stuff.I know that is wrong and have to change that.

 

Someone like your ex will never change.It is never ever Ok for a man to hit a woman ( or a woman to hit a man really )

 

You might not see it yet , but you are blessed for not having him in your life anymore.He sounds like a coward

[yeszombie]

Hi, thanks for your reply. I can see all of the bad stuff in him. How he could leave me with tons of debts of his linked to my address and how he walked out of my son's life without so much as a proper goodbye... but he has two children from a previous ex who he never sees and never pays for, so how I expected him to be different with mine I have no idea.

I just don't know what to do. I know where he lives; do I go and see him? I don't know what to do.

[stargirl259]

He sounds so awful! I know this is probably not what you want to hear but you can do so much better without him. I know it's easy for me to say this without knowing you and your ex's relationship but with what you've said about him he sounds horrible.

 

I have currently been broken up for a week and feel I will never find love again and will be alone forever but I do believe in fate and the right person will soon come along for us. That person is waiting for us as we're waiting for him.

 

Chin up my love! x