ria14 Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Well im going to try to keep this long story short as possible, but i need some advice as i have found my-self in somewhat a weird predicament. I know this girl for a little over a year know since we had a class together, the sexual attraction between us is magnetic, and we get along amazingly (i wouldn't find out how amazingly till recently) but nothing did happen between us back then, even though it could/should have. She went abroad for six months at the beginning of this year and came back during the summer. We've talked here and there but things picked up since August, and in September we've been hanging out alot, practically every day because we have LSATS in dec and we have been studying. Since then up to now though things have progressed crazy-like where our attraction to each other is magnetic still, and i think she has become really interested in me. I always catch her giving me looks, we flirt (im a very flirty guy), tease, play fight all the time, we act like a couple, go out to eat together (which i've been the gentlemen and paid for it a couple of times), we read each others minds, have a ton of common interests, hell we even argue like a couple, the flirtation level has a point where i can see she wants to give in but is fighting it off, but she hasn't stopped me nor have i made a move, and im really beginning to fall hard for her. This is because when she was abroad she dated a guy in Europe for something like 3 months and then has been ldr with him since coming back. I personally think this relationship is bs in my opinion because you don't do LDR with a guy you only been dating for like 3 months, let alone she doesn't even mention him to me, i found out because he called her one day while she was having dinner with me and it was quick 20 sec convo, she mention it and thats it. I know for a fact that her interests in me is real and I've made a real positive impact on her life. I really know this girl is perfect for me and im sure she has thought of me in that sense (girls eyes never lie) but im not willing to make a move on her, and then make her break up with this dude because of it. It means to me i caused the breakup by getting her to cheat somewhat, and she is a girl of integrity, plus it means it could happen to me. What i would want to happen is for her snap out of this tunnel vision and see whats good with me and not this pipe dream this guy put her in. Does anyone have some advice on this situation, no lie ive been a player most of my life, but i have never found a girl that ive connected with on such a deep level. To a point where the feeling that we are perfect for each other is there.
wildgeese Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 While I'm weary of this girl and her motivations, I have to say that I'm glad you're not making any moves. It's not for you to judge whether it's a "real" relationship or not. You're on a forum with people who are all in LDRs. Do you know how many people out there have the opinion that our relationships are not "real" due to distance? That is what is BS. You talk about her integrity yet she is flirting, letting another guy pay for her meals, spending a lot of time with someone not her boyfriend, etc. That doesn't sound very committed or honorable to me. I think while you say you are not willing to make a move on her, you most likely are manipulating the situation. If you feel this strongly, you need to have a conversation with her where you admit your feelings, hear her side of things and about her relationship, and go from there.
Author ria14 Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 First off i support all those in an LDR and by no means do i wish anyone who is in a really good LDR for it to ever end. What i meant by that relationship is bs is from a practical standpoint. Most people i know who are in LDR were in a relationship for a year or so before even going LDR, let alone the distance was very manageable when your SO is a couple states away, and the possibility of marrying that person is real and there. But when you just meet someone across the globe and start one after 3 months knowing that your not going to be back there for the next couple of years at least... cmon Love or not this is not a practical thing to do.. Your right to a degree i might have manipulated certain things to my advantage but not to ruin her relationship on purpose, but for her to see reality of this, and remember as much as it seems like im trying to pull her to me, i also have much to lose and be hurt by it because im not going to be a security blanket or a fill in bf with no romance either. If she wasn't 22 and had been in this relationship for years and talked about marrying this dude and so forth i would let it go, but none of these factors apply
FitChick Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 It means to me i caused the breakup by getting her to cheat somewhat, and she is a girl of integrity, plus it means it could happen to me. What i would want to happen is for her snap out of this tunnel vision and see whats good with me and not this pipe dream this guy put her in. . . no lie ive been a player most of my life, but i have never found a girl that ive connected with on such a deep level. To a point where the feeling that we are perfect for each other is there. Karma's a bitch!
LittleTiger Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 But when you just meet someone across the globe and start one after 3 months knowing that your not going to be back there for the next couple of years at least... cmon A lot of us here started our relationships after meeting someone 'across the globe' and we endure the distance, which may indeed be for several years, because we love our SO. Most of us get to see each other at regular intervals, some aren't so lucky - but in all cases the relationship is real. Our relationships are as real as any relationship IRL. If your friend says she is in a LDR then she is and you should respect that. It doesn't sound much like you're respecting anything here. If you want a relationship with her, then be up front and tell her. Maybe she'll dump her LDR boyfriend for you but, if you're a self confessed player I think she'd be a fool.
Recommended Posts