EgoJoe Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 I put this in another thread and realized it had some wide-ranging connotations for moving on in general. I encourage others to add to this: You say to yourself. I am not going to speak to my Ex for a long time. I am going to avoid all information on them. I am going to improve myself for myself. I will reflect on the relationship when I can do so in a manner that is not detrimental to my emotional well-being. You read the threads on no-contact and you set a firm boundary if your Ex contacts. Something to the effect of, "I am not interested in being your friend. I am healing and moving on. Take good care of yourself. It's best we don't speak for a long time." After saying something like this (when contacted, there is no need to do this if you have been pushing for contact) it is completely ok and reasonable to ignore any and all contact. It may not even be necessary to do this if they only contact once out of the blue and ignoring them seems to make them get the picture for awhile or forever. The beauty of this is that they will either live in denial or at some point realize that they have lost you and that you are moving on with your life and bettering yourself. Write down twenty-five positive statements of change that start with, "I will, I can, I must." I did this and I read them every morning. I still have rough days and weak moments but I don't break down anymore and I won't be doing that again. I had to ignore my Ex the last time she contacted because I deserve proper correspondence even though I wasn't really trying to reconcile so much as to come to a consensus. In the heat of emotional turmoil this is almost impossible without space to achieve perspective. Now is the time to pick up a self-help book, go back to school, look for a job, look for a better job, hit the gym like a madman, form new dietary habits while your appetite is shot and improve yourself. Let the questions about your breakup sit unanswered for now, I promise you in due time the answers you need will present themselves if you look at the right time. This happened to me, I searched rampantly for answers to psychological situations for months and when I gave up and was looking for communications tactics to improve my sales skills and talk with a very emotionally tapped and stressed out family member I found information that applied to my breakup specifically! I promise that your suffering will not last forever and from this time of pain with the right attitude and perspective you will emerge stronger, healthier, more attractive and wiser! Additional Info Not In The Other Thread: You are worthy of admiration and love. Be the best person you can be and you'll attract the best person for you. Learn about your ego and it's defense mechanisms so you can learn to see when others are employing them to shield themselves from pain and have more compassion. By facing this all head on you will embark upon the road less travelled.
lostsoul123 Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 you write this on the thread i started ....thank you really this is really motivating.
stargirl259 Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Thanks for writing this, it really helps x
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