MilfinBerle Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 I AM tall and white. It's not a get over for free card. Trust me. Yeah being butt wipe ugly sort of detracts from the tall whiteness. (j/k)
MilfinBerle Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Truth is that I have several friends who are Asian and raised in the U.S. They have a very similar struggle with what USMC Hokie goes through. Can we all agree that the media in the United States treats Asian men like radioactive waste? Not true. We love Jackie Chan.
Emilia Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Ain't that a damn shame... Such is life. If you are half as whingy as here when sober in real life then that's your trouble.
Author USMCHokie Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 If you are half as whingy as here when sober in real life then that's your trouble. Hardly. I use LS as an outlet for pent up frustrations. I live a pretty rockin' real life. Seriously.
WhiteChocolate Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Plus... I know some asian girls that refuse to date asian guys. Why... I don't know. I have a friend from Vietnam... she swore she would never date asian guys... then married a Korean guy 5 years later. Hahaha. She dated white and black guys for 3 years and they treated her like DIRT!!! I know some girls like this too... As an asian girl, I don't really care about the skin color/race of the person I date. I DO care however, if, when they see me, they get this look in their eyes as if ALL I am is some little asian chick with a (supposedly) tight pu55y. It pisses me off because I'm pretty Americanized. I mean, the majority of my "first dates" have been to sushi restaurants. REALLY? I mean, COME ON.....I love sushi, but doesn't it just seem a bit ODD that it just so happens that I'm asian and people like to take me out for raw fish...? I don't want to be fulfilling some "exotic" fantasy of theirs. And for the past two years, USMCHokie has been fairly non-whiney and mature on these forums. Just putting that out there. Sure he has some insecurity issues. But don't we all. And at least he's not a troll.
zengirl Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 You're good looking, man. You shouldn't have any trouble. Agreed! I've seen pictures, Hokie. You're very attractive. It's the attitude that is holding you back more than anything. Have you seen a therapist about this? Truth is that I have several friends who are Asian and raised in the U.S. They have a very similar struggle with what USMC Hokie goes through. Can we all agree that the media in the United States treats Asian men like radioactive waste? Really depends on the area you're raised in. I would agree that, in general, U.S. culture kind of denigrates Asian culture in general or pushes it to the side. Even women. There's a song in the Dr. Horrible musical (silly reference) called, "Nobody's Asian in the Movies" and it's kind of true. But especially true for men, though there are more breaking through these days. If you're in Hawaii or parts of the states along the West Coast, though, being Asian really doesn't have a stigma, even for males. If Hokie were raised in San Fran, it'd be a different story, I think. And that's not to say the stigma is nearly as bad as you're saying it is or Hokie acts like it is. I know plenty of well-adjusted Asian males even in the Southeast, where there are not large Asian populations. At the end of the day: Using your issues as a crutch is never sexy. Hokie is an attractive man, and plenty of women would go out with him. More would likely respond positively to him if he cut this self-hating B.S.
WhiteChocolate Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 At the end of the day: Using your issues as a crutch is never sexy. Hokie is an attractive man, and plenty of women would go out with him. More would likely respond positively to him if he cut this self-hating B.S. Agreed in his pictures he has a very winning smile.
Queen Zenobia Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Really depends on the area you're raised in. I would agree that, in general, U.S. culture kind of denigrates Asian culture in general or pushes it to the side. Even women. There's a song in the Dr. Horrible musical (silly reference) called, "Nobody's Asian in the Movies" and it's kind of true. But especially true for men, though there are more breaking through these days. If you're in Hawaii or parts of the states along the West Coast, though, being Asian really doesn't have a stigma, even for males. If Hokie were raised in San Fran, it'd be a different story, I think. And that's not to say the stigma is nearly as bad as you're saying it is or Hokie acts like it is. I know plenty of well-adjusted Asian males even in the Southeast, where there are not large Asian populations. At the end of the day: Using your issues as a crutch is never sexy. Hokie is an attractive man, and plenty of women would go out with him. More would likely respond positively to him if he cut this self-hating B.S. I live in the same area of the country that Hokie does (D.C.) and I have never heard of anyone having a problem with Asian males, doubly so for men with his physique and looks. It's definitely his own issues causing 100% of his problems, not his locale. This is one of the most multi-cultural parts of the country, there's very little if any anti-Asian bias.
snug.bunny Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Wargh Wargh Warghhhhhhhhhh...... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U0u9XH9s5sY
zengirl Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 I live in the same area of the country that Hokie does (D.C.) and I have never heard of anyone having a problem with Asian males, doubly so for men with his physique and looks. It's definitely his own issues causing 100% of his problems, not his locale. This is one of the most multi-cultural parts of the country, there's very little if any anti-Asian bias. Thanks for the data point -- I've never lived in D.C. and only passed through it a few times. Wasn't sure how large the Asian population was there.
Afishwithabike Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Really depends on the area you're raised in. I would agree that, in general, U.S. culture kind of denigrates Asian culture in general or pushes it to the side. Even women. There's a song in the Dr. Horrible musical (silly reference) called, "Nobody's Asian in the Movies" and it's kind of true. But especially true for men, though there are more breaking through these days. If you're in Hawaii or parts of the states along the West Coast, though, being Asian really doesn't have a stigma, even for males. If Hokie were raised in San Fran, it'd be a different story, I think. And that's not to say the stigma is nearly as bad as you're saying it is or Hokie acts like it is. I know plenty of well-adjusted Asian males even in the Southeast, where there are not large Asian populations. At the end of the day: Using your issues as a crutch is never sexy. Hokie is an attractive man, and plenty of women would go out with him. More would likely respond positively to him if he cut this self-hating B.S. I agree. It really depends on the part of the country. If you live in the Bay Area area as I have, you'll see many, many Asian American males and even foreign born Asian males dating and marrying women of all different ethnicities. Hokie, your problem is you, your defeatist attitude and insecurity. See a therapist already.
johan Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 (edited) Similar to Woggle, Hokie posts periodically with the same problem as every time before, hears everything people think he wants to hear, doesn't believe any of it, and goes back to life until the next time. My comments are: 1) Life doesn't owe him a relationship or love or anything else. It's not as if the fact that he is alone is evidence that the universe is breaking some kind of promise it made. To me, complaining about it just shows he thinks things should be different. Well, no. It's something he wants, so if he doesn't have it it's either because he isn't taking action or because he doesn't have what it takes to get it. Complaining to other people about it doesn't change either one of those things. 2) Hokie's self hate can't be cured to any extent by having people compliment him or say supportive things. That all falls on deaf ears. It's all dismissed. 3) Hokie may not have what it takes to get over this, either in therapy or on his own. 4) Hokie thinks if only he could get into a relationship with a pretty white girl, he would feel better. Thats backwards, actually, because what he really wants is to be the kind of guy who could date a girl like that. To feel better regardless of the girl. He wants to be someone else with different thought processes. But he isn't, and that's the real problem. 5) Chances are all his insecurities would actually be inflamed by having someone in his life he cares about. He's actually better off remaining alone. A relationship failure, which is pretty much a sure thing, is only going to dig the hole deeper. Edited October 15, 2011 by johan
FitChick Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 The OP just wants sympathy. He isn't willing to change his attitude and perspective with The Lefkoe Method. I dare you!
Desensitized Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Similar to Woggle, Hokie posts periodically with the same problem as every time before, hears everything people think he wants to hear, doesn't believe any of it, and goes back to life until the next time. My comments are: 1) Life doesn't owe him a relationship or love or anything else. It's not as if the fact that he is alone is evidence that the universe is breaking some kind of promise it made. To me, complaining about it just shows he thinks things should be different. Well, no. It's something he wants, so if he doesn't have it it's either because he isn't taking action or because he doesn't have what it takes to get it. Complaining to other people about it doesn't change either one of those things. 2) Hokie's self hate can't be cured to any extent by having people compliment him or say supportive things. That all falls on deaf ears. It's all dismissed. 3) Hokie may not have what it takes to get over this, either in therapy or on his own. 4) Hokie thinks if only he could get into a relationship with a pretty white girl, he would feel better. Thats backwards, actually, because what he really wants is to be the kind of guy who could date a girl like that. To feel better regardless of the girl. He wants to be someone else with different thought processes. But he isn't, and that's the real problem. 5) Chances are all his insecurities would actually be inflamed by having someone in his life he cares about. He's actually better off remaining alone. A relationship failure, which is pretty much a sure thing, is only going to dig the hole deeper. I agree with this. I really think that Hokie needs to learn to accept himself.
Star Gazer Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Hardly. I use LS as an outlet for pent up frustrations. I live a pretty rockin' real life. Seriously. Obviously, you don't really think that. You can't lead a rockin' life when you feel worthless. Johan is right.
Untouchable_Fire Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Not true. We love Jackie Chan. Ever see him in a movie as a Romantic lead? Probably not. Hollywood gives asian guys play as martial artists and tech support. I know some girls like this too... As an asian girl, I don't really care about the skin color/race of the person I date. I DO care however, if, when they see me, they get this look in their eyes as if ALL I am is some little asian chick with a (supposedly) tight pu55y. It pisses me off because I'm pretty Americanized. I mean, the majority of my "first dates" have been to sushi restaurants. REALLY? I mean, COME ON.....I love sushi, but doesn't it just seem a bit ODD that it just so happens that I'm asian and people like to take me out for raw fish...? I don't want to be fulfilling some "exotic" fantasy of theirs. And for the past two years, USMCHokie has been fairly non-whiney and mature on these forums. Just putting that out there. Sure he has some insecurity issues. But don't we all. And at least he's not a troll. Hahaha... Sushi. It's funny because I've done that before. In my experience asian people in general don't like cheese much... and most european and mexican foods have cheese. To be completely honest asian women have their own set of issues in the media. Primarily because historically it's been our soldiers who go to asia, and American soldiers have always been oversexed. In addition the porn industry active promotes racial stereotypes... All racial stereotypes. Really depends on the area you're raised in. I would agree that, in general, U.S. culture kind of denigrates Asian culture in general or pushes it to the side. Even women. There's a song in the Dr. Horrible musical (silly reference) called, "Nobody's Asian in the Movies" and it's kind of true. But especially true for men, though there are more breaking through these days. If you're in Hawaii or parts of the states along the West Coast, though, being Asian really doesn't have a stigma, even for males. If Hokie were raised in San Fran, it'd be a different story, I think. And that's not to say the stigma is nearly as bad as you're saying it is or Hokie acts like it is. I know plenty of well-adjusted Asian males even in the Southeast, where there are not large Asian populations. At the end of the day: Using your issues as a crutch is never sexy. Hokie is an attractive man, and plenty of women would go out with him. More would likely respond positively to him if he cut this self-hating B.S. You cannot seriously claim that the media has no effect on people's perception of themselves. If this was a woman feeling insecure because she doesn't match up to the stick sized models she sees in ads would you respond differently? I think you all would.
johan Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 To be completely honest asian women have their own set of issues in the media. Primarily because historically it's been our soldiers who go to asia, and American soldiers have always been oversexed. In addition the porn industry active promotes racial stereotypes... All racial stereotypes. You cannot seriously claim that the media has no effect on people's perception of themselves. If this was a woman feeling insecure because she doesn't match up to the stick sized models she sees in ads would you respond differently? I think you all would. All interesting, and possibly valid, observations. But this just encourages the "blame the world for my problems" mentality. The world doesn't owe anyone a level playing field. Given that the world, is and forever will be, an unfair place, you either find ways to overcome the limitations or you live with them. Sitting around and complaining about them and trying to point them out to others doesn't solve the problem. A free, young, fit, well-educated, clean-cut man should have the power and initiative to find a way to achieve his relationship goals, regardless of his heritage. Unless he is holding himself back, which pretty much always ends up being the real problem.
MilfinBerle Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Ever see him in a movie as a Romantic lead? Probably not. Hokie can't get any because Asians are known to be inscrewtable.
Author USMCHokie Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 Thanks for the data point -- I've never lived in D.C. and only passed through it a few times. Wasn't sure how large the Asian population was there. I find the DC area to have a relaively small Asian population compared to many other major metropolitan areas. I live in the same area of the country that Hokie does (D.C.) and I have never heard of anyone having a problem with Asian males, doubly so for men with his physique and looks. It's definitely his own issues causing 100% of his problems, not his locale. This is one of the most multi-cultural parts of the country, there's very little if any anti-Asian bias. Yes, it may be multicultural, and there may not be much anti-asian sentiment, but I wouldn't go so far as to say there's any pro-asian sentiment. It's more of an indifference and awareness that we exist and people are willing to coexist with us. Dating...? Not so much.
Author USMCHokie Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 (edited) All interesting, and possibly valid, observations. But this just encourages the "blame the world for my problems" mentality. The world doesn't owe anyone a level playing field. Given that the world, is and forever will be, an unfair place, you either find ways to overcome the limitations or you live with them. Sitting around and complaining about them and trying to point them out to others doesn't solve the problem. A free, young, fit, well-educated, clean-cut man should have the power and initiative to find a way to achieve his relationship goals, regardless of his heritage. Unless he is holding himself back, which pretty much always ends up being the real problem. Your first post was good. Thanks. A lot of people here may think of me as this whiney sniveling little guy who can't function at all in this world. I am only trying to rationalize why someone like myself, with everything I've got going on, struggles with something that everyone else seems to have an easy time with. I learn and pick things up fast, whether its just knowledge or a skill. I can get good at something extremely quickly (except swimming), and I've just always functioned at a pretty high level...I don't think I've ever said this to LS, but I score unusually high on those IQ test things...and I'm used to being good at things...or at least bring able to learn something quickly...so when I can't apply a systematic approach to "learning" dating skills, or when I should rationally be able to "not have any problems with women" as you all say, I cant help but wonder why and continually seek an explanation. And when everyone else can do something that I can't, I get a little pissed... So sure, this all affects me and literally cripples me when it comes to even asking a woman out, it does nothing to affect any other aspect of my life. I'm just looking for the why...and that's why I come to LS, to be that sniveling whiney guy in an alternate world... Otherwise, i do live a rockin' life. Just alone. Edited October 15, 2011 by USMCHokie
Author USMCHokie Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 Obviously, you don't really think that. You can't lead a rockin' life when you feel worthless. Johan is right. I actually dont feel all that worthless. I just don't know how or why someone with all my supposed "worth" is not seen more positively by women...is it the wrong kind of worth...? And no, I don't feel that I sm entitled to a relationship or a girl. Never have and never will. However, when individuals around me have such an easy time with it and share similar qualities with me, I just wonder why it's not similarly easy for me. And of course I naturally get a little resentful.
Queen Zenobia Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Yes, it may be multicultural, and there may not be much anti-asian sentiment, but I wouldn't go so far as to say there's any pro-asian sentiment. It's more of an indifference and awareness that we exist and people are willing to coexist with us. Dating...? Not so much. Oh come on. Really?! You don't see lots of Asian guys dating very nice and very good looking women? What parallel universe to you live in? There isn't a pro-anything sentiment here (Asian or otherwise) never will be. I guarantee you most women do not look at you and say "eww, he's Asian". More likely they say "hey, he's cute, why won't he come talk to me"? You need to get over your issues.
Author USMCHokie Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 Oh come on. Really?! You don't see lots of Asian guys dating very nice and very good looking women? What parallel universe to you live in? There isn't a pro-anything sentiment here (Asian or otherwise) never will be. I guarantee you most women do not look at you and say "eww, he's Asian". More likely they say "hey, he's cute, why won't he come talk to me"? You need to get over your issues. I honestly don't see a lot of Asian guys to begin with, let alone ones who are dating attractive women. They might not say eww, but they'll still see an Asian. I dont know if I can give people that much credit, male or female.
PIM Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Hey Hokie, I think and you and I are very similar. I'm Asian about 5'9, also a late bloomer and also after reading some of your posts I completely get what you're talking about. Yea it's ****ing hard for an Asian guy to date girls that aren't Asian and even living in New York I don't see it often. I sometimes think that women need permission to find someone attractive. I know this sounds crazy but sometimes I think that women want to get that guy they can show off to their friends and make them all jealous about how amazing he is and hot he is etc... And really it sucks because I just don't think Asian guys are considered that sexy considering how we are portrayed in the media. Also let's face it the media lots of times influences what is deemed attractive. Now with that being said, you can't let this stop you. I know I said I haven't seen that many Asian guys date cute girls that aren't Asian but I am one of those guys. My ex-gf was white, very cute and was very much into me and all that. It really didn't work out for my own issues unrelated to race but other issues I have to deal with. I'm not saying it was easy. My approach was online dating. Yes I know it sucks but it worked for me. I had to write so many emails and I even wrote an application that plugged into the website I was using to get profiles of girls that specified that they were into Asian guys. (Yup I'm a nerd and Asian... doubly screwed haha). Anyway what I'm saying is yes it's ****ing hard but you can't give up. And the way I look at it is that if enough guys like you and I can go out and show how awesome Asian men are, that we are confident, strong, funny, outgoing, friendly etc... Eventually maybe the stereotype of Asian guys being weak, unmanly and nerdy will eventually fade.
FitChick Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 There are plenty on non-American Asian women in the world. You can find them online if you really want to. I get the feeling most men would rather complain than take action. There was a hot Chinese guy in Eat Drink Man Woman, directed by Ang Lee. Great film.
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