rebeccajones Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 I met this guy who was divorced for a bout a year. I also have been broken up about a year. I asked him questions about his ex wife and I talked about my ex some on our dates. I was told you should not do that because then you will be in the friend zone. Which is really all I want for now. I can't see myself getting intimate with just anyone. But I also thought it would be good to know about a dates past and how he feels about his ex now instead of later?
veggirl Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 Talking about exes on the first few dates is such a turn-off. Plus, it seems too personal. I don't like talking about exes. I don't care about details of peoples past romantic relationships. Knowing how many LTRs they've had is fine but anymore info than that...not really that interested.
Author rebeccajones Posted October 14, 2011 Author Posted October 14, 2011 At this point I am thinking I do want to be a friend and I do want to talk about things as friends before I get intimate.
vsmini Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 At this point I am thinking I do want to be a friend and I do want to talk about things as friends before I get intimate. Things are going to get confusing for the two of you real fast if you don't get some boundaries set for what you two are doing - are you both ok being friends? Can you honestly say you want to be friends? Or is it the kind of thing where he'll be on the backburner until you've found someone else?
Author rebeccajones Posted October 14, 2011 Author Posted October 14, 2011 The way I am going about dating is meeting and thinking of these men as friends first I want to know about them and them about me and if there is no spark then move on. Right now I have no sparks for anyone.
Cypress25 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 I was told you should not do that because then you will be in the friend zone. That's not the reason you shouldn't talk about your exes. The real reason is that it's annoying to listen to someone who talks endlessly about their past relationships. Makes it sound like they're still obsessed with their ex, in which case they shouldn't be dating at all. It's also just plain rude to ask someone about their exes. It's none of your business and most people would rather not dwell on the past. If a guy wants you to know about his past relationships, he'll volunteer that information. Don't go prying into his personal life. The first few dates are about getting to know each other. Don't spend that time talking about your exes. That makes it look like you're insecure and living in the past. It also makes for boring conversation. You think he wants to hear about your exes? Stop using him as your therapist. That's not the way to make new friends.
thatone Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 The way I am going about dating is meeting and thinking of these men as friends first I want to know about them and them about me and if there is no spark then move on. Right now I have no sparks for anyone. then tell them no, go home, and stay there by yourself until you find one you do want. stop leading them on.
Recommended Posts