k100danny Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 So ive been through the break up, recently heard she kissed someone else and was hurt. Now i know that i will now look at the positives of what i miss and not the negatives that annoyed me and if im honest i cant imagine her being my future wife, or i can but i would be looking through rose coloured lenses because she is not what i always pictured in a future long term relationship. So i did a bit of digging on why i some people find it hard to get over relationships, she kind of got over it quite quickly and this did annoy me because we feel so special like this must be the first time they have felt like this with someone and the only thing i can come up with is yes youre right, that was the first time they felt like that with anyone and the first time you did too. all relationships are different and i think most of us if we take out the things we use to idolise our ex actually miss how they made us feel. I miss having someone who seemed to think the world of me, really was into me and i felt special like i meant a lot to someone. This i feel is what holds us back, i have an anxious attachment system and i recommend anyone on this board to read about attachment in adult relationships if you find it hard to let go and it may help you understand more. I tend to think i will never have someone who feels that way about me again and someone i feel so comfortable with but this is probably not true. I wont feel exactly the same way in my next relationship but if i use this to learn my needs it will hopefully be better. Today i have decided its time to move on fully, it is going to be hard but i know i will one day feel great again. I always said i wasnt the rebound type but this is apparently a great thing to do for someone like me who tends to think their ex is the best thing when lets be honest they probably werent. The only thing that stops me doing the rebound thing is i dont want to get attached again to someone and end up feeling this way if they arent a good match and secondly i would feel like i was using someone and i dont do that to people i have more respect for peoples feelings. I feel for anyone who has been through a break up or is going through one but i think we do tend to mask our true emotions and what we need or want.
jenjen83 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 So i did a bit of digging on why i some people find it hard to get over relationships, she kind of got over it quite quickly and this did annoy me because we feel so special like this must be the first time they have felt like this with someone and the only thing i can come up with is yes youre right, that was the first time they felt like that with anyone and the first time you did too. all relationships are different and i think most of us if we take out the things we use to idolise our ex actually miss how they made us feel. I miss having someone who seemed to think the world of me, really was into me and i felt special like i meant a lot to someone. This is a good point...I mainly miss how my ex made me feel and the things we did together. I'm not really sure I actually miss HIM.
sadprincess Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 i miss having someone to say good morning everyday. somebody to talk to about your day. and someone to tell you gnight. but i can't do that with just anyone. a guy who knows i'm back in town (never knew i was in a serious relationship)...started texting me good mornings and how my day was...(only 2 days tho)...and i feel smothered. love is great when its great. sucky when its no longer mutual. let hurt become anger...and when you are angry at someone for kissing another....you eventually lose the respect you once had for her. if i heard/saw my ex even dated someone else so soon...i'd call it a blessing because i'd hate him so much that i'd forget him.
thebig-guy Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Its interesting that you highlight this about exes. Because alot of us dont stop to think about what we actually liked about them. For me all i remember is appearance. I see a beautiful girl who i no longer have in my arms. What i dont remember is her personality, ungreatful and demanding. I think when we realise how these people actually treat us, it is a positive step to gaining our identity back...
TLCbear Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 I miss the chemistry, the past good memories, and the "future" memories my ex and I had or could have had. Right now, I'm still holding on to the "what we could have had"...which is why it is so hard to move forward with someone else.
sadprincess Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 the big guy.......... gosh.............pretty girls always win! lol. i wish i was drop dead gorgeous so i can get away with murder. i'm "cute"........(annoying as heck when I get called that). but my boyfriend is better looking than me...and he was told by several people he was handsome (i don't want to admit it myself...i'm angry with him at the moment.) and it works both ways (guys/girls). i wish he was butt ugly to go along with his butt ugly views. TLC bear, i know....its hard when you prob made plans and now its all crushed. too painful to think about past memories. no memories to make. wish we had an on/off switch and control our feelings.
PositiveNegative Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 I miss pretty much everything about her, but not gonna lie. I miss the sex. A lot.
stargirl259 Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 For me, I miss the chemistry we had and the plans for the future we made together. I hate the fact I let him into my life and everything reminds me of him.
Marianis Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 i miss talking to him.. talk about our day and laugh about things that happen .. i like how he made me feel even just talking on the phone.. and i miss telling him honey boo.. or hear that "i love you" everynight on the phone..
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