soserious1 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Sounds to me like your friend expected that this guy was going to help pick up her portion of the tab for this trip without discussing it with him. When the idea of the trip first came up she should have said "this trip sounds really nice but I cannot afford to go, have a great time, take lots of pictures & I'll see you when you get home" Such a dialogue would have set him straight as to her fiscal circumstances without implying any obligation on his part to pick up her share of the bill The choice would then have been his to decide to offer to help her pay,to decide together on a cheaper vacation or to decide that this was a trip he intended to take, even if it meant going solo. I've been the big earner in a couple of relationships, the expectation that I'm just going to cough up the money for my partner to do things gets old after awhile as does always being stuck planning low budget boring trips because that's all the guy could afford. If she's that broke that she can't afford a plane ticket IMHO she's got no business planning a vacation of any type, while her b/friend is away she should use her time to figure out ways to improve her fiscal condition going forward.
ChessPieceFace Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Personally my boyfriend would offer to split the ticket with me since his flight was free and I would be very, very thankful for it. Yeah... why was this not the obvious plan. Why not split the free ticket and each pay half.
Els Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 It seems odd that she would have agreed to go on vacation without figuring out if she could afford it first. To me, it sounds like she actually expected him to pick up the slack. This may be why he's resisting it. No one wants to give something out of the other person's expectation. It's one thing for someone you love to offer to help out financially. On the other hand, it's extremely tacky to feel entitled to it. Yeah, I second this. Also, I guess we don't know enough about them to know, and I doubt Tigress does either. It's hard enough to help a poster posting firsthand on these boards because there's just so much we aren't told; it's pretty unrealistic to expect to help a poster's friend.
Dust Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I think it depends on the nature of the trip. If this is a trip he was going to take anyways with or with out her with other people like friends or family then I can see why he doesn’t necessarily want to pay for half her ticket. But if this is a trip just for the two of them that he needs her there to enjoy I think he should want to pay her half of the ticket. Maybe he is having some backward logic like that if he saves money on the ticket he can treat her well during the vacation like pay for all the meals and drinks? (yes that’s probably far fetched but very possible.) In the end you are an outsider. There are two sides to every story. We’re probably missing a lot of important details.
zengirl Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Yeah, I second this. Also, I guess we don't know enough about them to know, and I doubt Tigress does either. It's hard enough to help a poster posting firsthand on these boards because there's just so much we aren't told; it's pretty unrealistic to expect to help a poster's friend. This is probably the case. It's hard enough to help posters when you can ask questions of someone involved! Let alone shimmy around these mystery situations.
Sanman Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 This is probably the case. It's hard enough to help posters when you can ask questions of someone involved! Let alone shimmy around these mystery situations. Agreed. At first glance, the bf does seem like he is being cheap. However, as I said earlier, it depends on the history. Is she in a career that does not make much right now or is she making minimum wage? Is he just making a lot more than minimum wage or is he making a six figure salary? As I mentioned earlier, it can be frustrating to constantly pick up the bill waiting for the other person to get their sh*t together. Then again, he could be making six figures and be cheap. Or is he living above his means and maybe he can't afford the extra cash? Too many scenarios to give a useful opinion here.
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