yzyzyz325 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 For those who do not know my story, please read the followings threads: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t286968/ [COLOR=#800080]http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t298566/[/COLOR] It's been 5 months since my gf of 1.5 yrs broke up with me out of the blue. She never contacts me after break up, which does not surprise me because she is a shy person anyway, never taking initiatives. We have many mutual friends, they still run into her now and then at campus but never talked about me. One of them just had coffee with her recently, and he said she was still quite busy and definitely still single. I don't want to get her back now, because i know the timing is not right. I just wish we can still be friendly to each other. Being totally stranger is killing me when we know each other so much and used to share so many things together. I hope keeping some lukewarm touch can increase the chance of getting back in the future. So, do you think it's ok for me to text happy b'day to her? many thanks!
69ways Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 no Go nc yourself, how shy she is its irrelevant. If she was really wondering how you, she would have called/txt. I had contact with my ex and took her flowers, it back fired on her bd. On the other hand you have nothing to loose, as she is not even speaking to you. Its your choice.
geegirl Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 You can't be friends, friendly, lukewarm, hi-bye, etc. with an ex that you still have feelings for. Shy is an excuse to justify her not reaching out. If she wanted to, her feelings would override her shyness. What if you were friendly and you found out she was going on a date, or kissed a guy or was seen having dinner with a guy. How would you feel? The fact that you still want her back is enough to tell you any type of communication is going to keep you stuck. If someone wants you back, no matter where you are, they will come for you. If you believe keeping some form of communication is your way of reminding her you are still there and that you're available, then you're missing the point. You don't have to remind someone of your existence in their life. If you are special enough, they will remember, and if they want you enough, they will come for you. Don't send her the text if you are still emotional. Any response or non-response is going to keep you stuck. Then you'll be back here with another post asking why she did not respond or what her "thanks" means.
M2155 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 If you're fine with casual contact and not expecting a result from it, I don't see any harm. It's really more about what sending it means to you since it sounds like you're not over her. Don't do it with the intention of getting her back.
smudge21 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 The moment you don't want to see the ex, is the moment you can be friends. Anything else, and you're still emotionally attached and you'll never be able to handle being friends. Think you can? Then picture her telling you about her new boyfriend and how good in bed he is or something. Could you handle that? She's living her life and you need to live yours. Be polite by all means, but I wouldn't send a birthday message. I'm about to face the same dilemma but have decided not to send her a birthday text as I wouldn't be doing it for her, but for me... to get a reaction. That's wrong. It will only end up hurting me when that reaction never comes.
Recommended Posts