delta277 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 My boyfriend and I have been dating for around 9months now and things have been going pretty fine. Now a month after we started dating me and best friend/roomie fought because she thought that i was spending too much time with him and less with her (which was not entirely true.. ) and blah blah one thing led to another until she sent me a very hurtful text telling me how lame my boyfriend was and how nobody likes him. So apparently she and a bunch of my other friends all sat in a room one day and bitched about him and how he is lame and i am probably just settling for him (i was hurt... ) So that day i didnt return back instead and i slept over at his place.. i was really upset and he kept askin me wats wrong but i wouldnt tell him and i went to sleep crying... He instead went through my phone saw my messages and he too was hurt.. but he never mentioned it to me.. instead he sent a msg to my friend tellin her he is sorry and its his fault i am always out and she should just forget things and stop fighting with me.. I never knew this which is why the next day i was surprised when i found her all sweet... anyway since tht day tht he found out nobody likes him he started hating them too... he wouldnt talk to them much if we ran into them and for that i never blamed him... He knew they didnt like him (i kinda let it slip later about how i found out about the converstaion they had and that made him hate them even more) Now my boyfridn is from a completely diff world compared to my friends.. We get each others in ways that we're not really the out-n-about kinds.. hate partying.. prefer to just spend a day walking.. or watching a movie.. things like that.. my friends dont.. they like going out.. partying.. things i was usually forced into... Anyway...... main point.. recently.. 9 months later my best friend went through my phone while i was sleeping (why do they keep doing that !!!) and found msgs sent by my boyfrnd sayin she doesnt really care about me and she's just using me and **** like that...she also found out that once during a fight we had he called both me and her sluts(yea.. mean.. ) So she got upset.. pissed off.. but then we were fine.. she said she didnt wanna lose me and he seems to be trying to spilt us apart... i told her its never gonna happen and she doesnt have to worry.. That day i met my boyfriend and told him bout how shed read the msgs and she was upset and he shud seriously stop saying **** bout her... he said ok.. but wen he met later that night he called out to her and kinda provoked her which got her to come charging at him and before i knew it there they were fightin on the road... She stormed off.. he got pissed and now she is pissedat me because i didnt stand up for her.. she said i shouldnt have let him speak to her that way... which is true... and i get it... But what am i suposed to do..I cant choose neither am i the type thats gonna scream on the road.. i ahte scenes! Now everyone hates each other and most importantly evryone hates me and i dont knw wat to do? How can I fix this??
silvermercy Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 To me the only solution is either to take sides now or dissociate yourself from both situations for your own piece of mind (just make sure they don't start dating each other if you ever split up!! LOL I've seen that happen, too!). Anyway, this is not healthy and will likely continue in the future if you let things as they are. What I don't get are the reasons each one dislikes the other so much! Is it just the huge amount of time you spend with your boyfriend? I know this happens when a close friend suddenly finds a BF or GF. The other party feels neglected. Can't you compromise and have BF-time and girls-nights out split evenly? Of course, it's a bit late for that now since they already hate each other as you say. Just go with your gut. If you say, your lifestyle does not fit with your other friends' anymore, pick your boyfriend and find other friends. But make sure you're on a stable ground with your BF in your relationship first.
phineas Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 you probably are spending too much time with your BF. But, it sounds like your friend/s are jealous. Do any of them have their own BF's? If you are happy & your BF isn't getting you hooked on crack or stealing from you they don't sound like very good friends at all. We know he isn't a club rat & your friends are. What about you?
ChessPieceFace Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 Your friends sound like trash from your description. It's none of their business. Are they so pathetic that it disrupts their lives so much when you spend time with someone else? And they respect you so little that they have to trash your BF, as a group no less? None of us know these people, you do. You have to figure out if your BF is really worthless, or if your friends are the ones that are worthless. Until then, just keep them separate.
vsmini Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 Your friends sound like trash from your description. It's none of their business. Are they so pathetic that it disrupts their lives so much when you spend time with someone else? And they respect you so little that they have to trash your BF, as a group no less? None of us know these people, you do. You have to figure out if your BF is really worthless, or if your friends are the ones that are worthless. Until then, just keep them separate. I'll second this.
Pasttense Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 You need to tell both your boyfriend and your best friend that it is unacceptable for them to go through your phone messages.
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