Farrah Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 (edited) I've been married one year to an Italian .He has been the most precious thing in my life.He was the most beautiful romantic husband to me,almost a dream.I met him on facebook last August.He was on my fb for 2 years before we even inboxed eachother.He asked me out for sushi one day, next he invited me to the spa. Five month down the line we were married.I was on seventh heaven, so in love. Even before I married him my gut told me something was not quite right. He always kept his android hidden or turned off.Then every single morning and weekend of out marriage he would sit on his laptop for hours in a way I couldnt see.Couple of times I saw him quickly close a chat box when I approached him.Sometimes, he quickly closed his laptop if I sat next to him. From time to time ,even though his cell was "locked with a password" I saw messages from women. *Maresa Teresa was one of his interests a Spanish Pshycho .I caught her texts from January this year . Her messages read ,"Amore Mio Tiamo Tanto.."Then it was Claudia, then Jay... Each time I confronted him he said he owed these women money and so he avoided them ans swore I was the only woman he wanted to spend his life with. Most names in the messages had an "x" in front of them. his phone was always in his pocket when we went out on weekends. I noticed his hand was always on his pocket as if he wanted to check if it was vibrating.One day after the gym I saw a travel bag in his trunk with a toiletry/shower gel,his dress shoes and a nice t-shirt.Amongst other things there was a cologne called 'love passion' in his toilet bag. Pretty much January through October every month he threw me out atleast eleven times .As a husband ,he was not much of a provider. Infact, I paid him $600 a month to help him out.He as my husband never got me a gift, clothes, slippers , flowers...nothing in one year. As I reflect my husband also had a terrible temper.One night he was very mad at me.I heard him speak in a heavy voice in Japanese.That night I heard the doorbell ring, doors opened and closed and I heard him walk up and down in the living room middle of the night. I was totally scared the whole thing was very strange. Everytime I asked him we got into a 4-5 day fight in which he would throw me out of the house.A couple of times when I went back I saw tissue papers on the bed and I wondered. I thought he was missing me and was crying for me. Later, I found out he was addicted to webcam sex. (Read on you will see how I found out.) So July 4rth came along and July 6th was his birthday. He disappeared for three consecutive nites from Friday through Sunday.I called his coworker on Sunday he said his superviser told him my husband had taken off early from work on Friday. He finally returned Monday morning after I kept calling him and begging him to return my texts for the entire time he was gone.When he got back I saw he had a new cologne in his car and gifts on the back seat covered with his jacket.He was very nervous with me around his car so, he quickly locked it. As my suspicions grew stronger I grew more adamant. One day our fight accelerated again as I wanted to see his laptop and cell phone. He refused, cused me and pushed me real hard .I tripped on my slipper and my head almost hit the wall. It was a week before last, one night I couldnt sleep.His addiction to the phone was more eminent.He would be texting at 12 midnite, sometimes early morning .He started texting every chance he got. My gut said there was something going on. He wouldnt call me on his way home,he would hide his cell in the other room. He would disappear in that room for a while come out and get all lovey dovey with me when I was in the kitchen.I walked on eggshells one whole year.I almost felt I was competing with his cell and laptop. There were nights he would just get mad and leave me to sleep in the other room.He would take his cell with him which has skype and cam and all.Times he locked himself in the other room and in the morning I would go to the backyard and when I looked through the back bedroom door that opens in the patio from between the blinds I saw him holding his cell looking at it.I think locking himself in the other room was a way to chat , text, call his interests and view them on the webcam .One day I was at College he text me his pic he took in the morning. I noticed he didnt have the wedding ring on. I asked him why he didnt have his wedding ring on. My gut said that pic was not for me.My life was a nightmare .He never supported me financially. Two weeks back one night as he slept I quietly hid his phone. I was adamant to catch him.It was a Sunday next day he started looking for his phone. He kept looking...and looking...periodically telling me to give it back to him. We had a great Sunday, I cooked we ate, we watched a movie. My heart sank as I knew what was coming...It was getting dark now he was desperately looking for his cell. As he was searching in the garage I ran and put it in a pancake box and threw it ove the back wall of the house.I know his temper and I know when he gets tired how it accelerates.I ran to the garage starting reversing my car. He tried closing the garage door. The garage door almost missed my car. I drove around the block ..picked the pancake box and drove to the closest walmart in the area. As I sat at 11 pm in the night my hands were shaking. I was soon to know the truth about my husband. But I didnt kno his password. I tried several combinations one opened. I got access to his filth. I saw two gmails to two girls one in Spanish was Marisa Teresa...second another he said he missed.I saw a text from a gal in town asking him when he was getting off and if he missed her..I saw a webcam recording of a girl with her ass in the cam stripping,I saw multiple pics of girls in his pic gallery ,one of them was me, one was his ex.Texts to his ex exchanging romantic messages and a gals name with the word 'fling' in front of it.Oh Lord have mercy on me my world was shattered. I exposed him I copy pasted a message stating I was his wife given my email and that he was a liar and cheater I fwd it to all the girls in his address book.3 girls contacted me.His ex called me . She thought I was playing her till I fwd his filth to her. She said she loved him but he was sleeping around with many women including a japanese woman. Then her sister emailed me and wanted me to give her my word I would go as far as I could from him she swore he would ruin my life as he did her sisters.Then I found out he started fb with out telling me with only his pics no mention of his wife...with a Japanese gal Daisy Liao in Vegas on it.I confronted her and two others.Last Sunday I met with him.One day was awesome in the night he said I couldnt live with him anymore he was selling the house...?Next day the lap top came out gain. I asked him to show me his fb..I asked him to block Daisy Liao thinking we were changing..He apparently did. I asked him three times to close his fb..he said yes I will in my own time, we will make a fb together..I saw him looking up yahoo answers ,"How to block someone from viewing your profile pictures..."I asked he had some story to tell.I went to the kitchen to warm the food for lunch. I opened my cell Daisy LIao was still showing up in his friends list. I came and asked him if he blocked her how was she showing up. He flared up threatened to leave for the rest of the day and said I was getting the hell out of there...he started wearing his pant..thats when I picked his laptop and smashed it on the ground, them his cell phone. He charged towards me and grabbed me by my hair and pulled and pulled and slammed my head against the wall and threw me out of the house in a nightie.My love died a slow death that day with no desire to ever see his face. I almost thought I would not comeout alive of his house. But Im glad Ibroke the two toys that made my life hell as I left. Later I got rid of two women on his facebook just because.Daisy Liao refused that she knew him even though he was added to her friends list.I shut my facebook down.I was so done.Have I divorced him not yet...will I ??The man I loved so deeply wronged me time and again.I am numb.My gut said he loved me as deeply as I did because as man and wife we had a great relationship but I felt was dealing with a sick man (Schidzofrenia) with some kind of dual personality or behaviour disorder.Its hard to believe he didnt love me and I'm not in denial I'm wide awake..lol. If we bring an animal even into our house we get attached I was his wife......what do you think? Edited October 14, 2011 by Farrah
2long Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 Why didn't you call the police? This isn't a relationship. -ol' 2long
RobD70 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 And this is why you never marry someone during the honeymoon stage of a relationship (usually within the first 6 months but up to 2 years). Get out YESTERDAY. There's nothing to save here and his sister is right, he WILL ruin your life. You need to be posting in the Divorce section, there's no reason to try to salvage this, he is just using you. The marriage is a farce. Sorry, he is just a player and you got played. You might not even be his only wife. You need an exit plan to protect yourself, you have no idea who this man really is.
Nickster1 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 Farrah, Your situation is tough but since you are with that person for about a year-year and half, and there are no kids... I think if i were you, I would leave and don't look back. My case is a 12 year relationship from which 7 is a marriage with two kids...Cheating that (probably) started about 6 years ago, and was alive even after i busted my spouse. Then came another cheating... I really think that your case is soooo much easier to untangle. That is simply nothing for you gain, nothing to fight for.
Space Ritual Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Marrying somebody after 5 months was your first mistake. Accepting the behavior of this man after the first time you were abused was your second. I am not saying at all that it was your fault that you were physically abused by this man, but you did have choices even at that late date. You chose to stay (and even now in some respects choose to remain) in denial. Did you feel when you started your courtship and quick wedding that he was going to be "the best you were going to do?" I sense that a bit in your original post. Maybe had a little bit to do with the hasty nuptuals? Whatever you do, please don't drag this out with this Rimjob Romeo...see a lawyer and file for divorce.
bigmomma1974 Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 wow what a horror story. You wanna know what we think. well I think you need to pack up your belongings hit the road, file for divorce and never look back,. Thats som scarey s tuff going on there. Does he have a sex addiction, porn addiction I dont know if so its an illness in itself. Howver hes abusive and nasty and mean, what do you want out of this. He doesnt seem to give a damn about you as a wife or a human, so why would you want to try to fic this, It won't get better, He can only get help for hisslef and sounds like he isnt going to. Run And Run fast.
Recommended Posts