xxoo Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 We have now moved on from using condoms to withdrawal method, which I know is kind of risky Why? If it is about the sensation, try natural membrane condoms. They provide great protection against pregnancy, but not STIs. And they feel very natural. Or get on another BC method. Or get pregnant
Star Gazer Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Secondly, what do you plan to do with everyone's answers? If everyone says they would be okay, would you make yourself okay with it just because 'everyone else is'? And if everyone says otherwise, what difference would it make? You aren't okay with it, and whether or not others are should not influence your decision. One of the worst mistakes to make in an R is to insist on your relationship being the same as everyone else's. ES does not have an opinion or mind of her own. She validates herself through others, whether by having a BF, or getting acceptance from others (LS) about her own choices.
Star Gazer Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 We have now moved on from using condoms to withdrawal method, which I know is kind of risky Not sure how risky if he withdraws in time, every time. Well, can't validate this. Worst decision you've ever made. Good luck with that, and happy parenting.
somedude81 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Once or twice a week sex? I'd praise God every week that I'd be so lucky. It's amazing what people take for granted and are unsatisfied with. As for stopping with condoms. You know what they call people who use the withdrawal method as their sole source of birth-control? Parents. It's possible for some semen to leave the penis before the man ejaculates. Therefore even if he ejaculated outside, every single time, it's still possible to get pregnant.
OliveOyl Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 We have now moved on from using condoms to withdrawal method, which I know is kind of risky Not sure how risky if he withdraws in time, every time. ES I am sure you are not ready to be a parent *yet*. Don't do this. Look for other alternatives, like the natural condoms xxoo recommended. Really, you DON'T want to bring a pregnancy into the mix now. You really, really don't.
oaks Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 We have now moved on from using condoms to withdrawal method, which I know is kind of risky Not sure how risky if he withdraws in time, every time. I have previously advised to keep the crazy under control. This is outside the envelope. I suggest you reconsider. Good luck!
Citizen Erased Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 We have now moved on from using condoms to withdrawal method, which I know is kind of risky It's not kind of risky. It is risky. Is an unplanned pregnancy really something you want to deal with? Don't be stupid about birth control, use condoms or go to the doctor and get the pill.
FrustratedStandards Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Are you prepared to take such a high risk of pregnancy when your relationship has had more than it's fair share of problems (even this past week)? There's always abortion worse comes to worst.
Eclypse Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Pull out method is safe when done properly. Precum is produced by an organ called Cowpers gland. It's purpose is to produce lubrication and nothing else. It has a similar composition to semen, which is likely why people mistake it for that. It contains no sperm naturally (why would it anyway) but it can pick up sperm in the urethra, which is why you need to pee beforehand. Also you got to pull out on time. Many men swear they have good control but they probably don't. Of course STIs are still a problem, but I'm assuming you're both clear
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 This method is unsafe because many men don't practice it properly. There is lots of room for human error and hence high failure rate. What I am asking is what the last poster answered: if it's done properly, how effective is it? There are really no online stats on that. I feel the same way about condoms. Most stats say that they have almost 15% failure rate. I bet it's mostly due to men don't putting them on properly (and they slipping or breaking as a result), buying poorly made ones etc. Other done "human error", they are probably 99.9% effective. My boyfriend has a huge amount of self control. He was very cautious with putting on condoms and he is very cautious to pull out wellllll before time. There is always abortion for the worst case scenario.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Do you WANT to get pregnant? What about any of the other birth control options, like the pill or a patch? Sincerely, I can't understand where you're coming from with this. You ARE going to get pregnant (unless one of you is sterile). What's the plan after that?
Els Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Why are you insisting on the pull-out method, ES? :/ Is there a REASON you can't use more reliable methods in combination with it? Yes, if done perfectly most forms of birth-control are 99% safe, even rhythm and pull-out. But the average fail rate is there for a reason, ES. Believing your bf is superhuman is a surefire way to fail. EVEN if he never actually cums inside you, pre-ejaculation fluid CAN contain a small amount of sperm. Perhaps not enough to impregnate some people, but really, if you enjoy testing your luck like that, you might as well blindfold yourself and walk across a street. Chances are MOST cars will stop in time, after all.
suregeek Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I am a geek and it was hard to get sex once or twice a year. I found some great dating tips from friends and gurus, which helped me get sex once or twice a week. Sharing these tips is something I enjoy. Please check out my blog with geek dating tips and more for entertainment or how to get a date. Check it out: Suregeek.com
Els Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 And it really scares me that you would say 'Oh well, I can do whatever I like, abortion is always a handy resort'. No, I rephrase. It makes me see red. While the pro-abortion and anti-abortion war rages on, most reasonable and sane people on both sides believe that abortion is not something to be taken lightly. It is NOT something that you do when, 'oh well, I was too dumb/lazy/ignorant/can't be bothered to use contraception on a regular basis and now I'm pregnant, I'll just do an abortion'. EVEN if one is pro-abortion, one only uses it when EVERYTHING ELSE has failed, like the women here who used 2 forms of BC and still got pregnant, OR in uncontrollable situations. You are neither of that. I used to be sympathetic towards you, ES, but now I really hope that you're a troll, for your own sake. And if you're not, I sincerely hope you never have children, for their sake.
Citizen Erased Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 This method is unsafe because many men don't practice it properly. There is lots of room for human error and hence high failure rate. What I am asking is what the last poster answered: if it's done properly, how effective is it? There are really no online stats on that. I feel the same way about condoms. Most stats say that they have almost 15% failure rate. I bet it's mostly due to men don't putting them on properly (and they slipping or breaking as a result), buying poorly made ones etc. Other done "human error", they are probably 99.9% effective. My boyfriend has a huge amount of self control. He was very cautious with putting on condoms and he is very cautious to pull out wellllll before time. There is always abortion for the worst case scenario. The method is unsafe because there's such a thing called pre-cum. He certainly isn't pulling out when that's going into you. As for your last sentence, using abortion as a form of birth control is absolutely disgusting and you should be ashamed of even saying that, let alone even being naive enough to think of it. Stop acting like a teenager, grow up and use birth control. There is more than just condoms, I suggest you use them.
Star Gazer Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 This method is unsafe because many men don't practice it properly. There is lots of room for human error and hence high failure rate. What I am asking is what the last poster answered: if it's done properly, how effective is it? There are really no online stats on that. I am the result of the withdrawl method. My dad never even came in my mom. My best guy friend's daughter is the result of the withdrawl method. He didn't come either. There is always abortion for the worst case scenario. So you're actually going to use abortion as a form of birth control? You're more like torn_curtain than I thought.
Star Gazer Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 And it really scares me that you would say 'Oh well, I can do whatever I like, abortion is always a handy resort'. No, I rephrase. It makes me see red. While the pro-abortion and anti-abortion war rages on, most reasonable and sane people on both sides believe that abortion is not something to be taken lightly. It is NOT something that you do when, 'oh well, I was too dumb/lazy/ignorant/can't be bothered to use contraception on a regular basis and now I'm pregnant, I'll just do an abortion'. EVEN if one is pro-abortion, one only uses it when EVERYTHING ELSE has failed, like the women here who used 2 forms of BC and still got pregnant, OR in uncontrollable situations. You are neither of that. I used to be sympathetic towards you, ES, but now I really hope that you're a troll, for your own sake. And if you're not, I sincerely hope you never have children, for their sake. I completely agree with everything you said.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 We are not doing the pull out method all the time. We have only really done it last weekend (few times) and will be back to using condoms. My boyfriend has never had sex without a condom and was dying to know what it feels like. He actually said that he prefers condoms as he is able to last a bit longer. I can't really use any hormonal BC. I have tried the pill in many forms before, and it made me feel fatigued, nauseated and I gained weight. No way in hell am I putting anything similar in my body (which we discussed and he is supportive in my decision).
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 I completely agree with everything you said. I am going to have kids one day and be a wonderful mother Sorry to disappoint you all
Dust Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 If it were regular once or twice a week I'd be happy. All to often I've seen low sex drive women who are never in the mood for sex. Personaly 7-4 times reglularly a week would be best.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I am going to have kids one day and be a wonderful mother After a few abortions?
Star Gazer Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I am going to ... be a wonderful mother Telling yourself that won't make it so. You've got a long way to go before you'll be capable of putting someone else completely before yourself.
AHardDaysNight Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Eternal, being a parent is much more than being genetically tied to the person. It's a lot of hard work, sweat, and tears. You shouldn't go for that, until you're sure you're absolutely ready to be a parent.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I am avidly pro-choice. That said, I find few things more disgusting than people who believe that abortion is a valid form of birth control. People who believe that the termination of a beginning human life is a fair exchange for some more sensation in a guy's penis, or avoiding the possible gain of a few pounds. Now that this thread has taken this really miserable turn, I can only hope that your boyfriends sexual interest in you dwindles to far, far less than one or two times per week. Abstinence will be a great form of birth control for you. Enjoy.
Els Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 I am going to have kids one day and be a wonderful mother Sorry to disappoint you all Oh, ES, I really hope so. And I really hope that your short bout of motherhood doesn't begin with a thread here a few weeks from now: "I think I missed my period..."
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