duckrepair Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 I became friends with a guy many-a-year ago (9 or so). Years passed & we finally attempted dating but things just fell through. I couldn't bring myself to communicate with him for quite a long time; I moved on and dated other guys.. Present day, we've been chit-chatting it up for a couple of months. I didnt really expect for my emotions to reset. I see all the changes he's made and I just love my time with him. So once again, I am into him. Our current status is "friends". He's expressed that he definitely wants to be with me in a serious LTR. I'm postponing it all and keeping it as a friendship. One thing is, I just don't want to lose an amazing friendship. The other thing is, I've quaintly enjoyed causally dating & just scoping out the scene. The irony of it all is, when I first liked him eons ago, I was the one that was chasing an exclusive relationship. And he just didn't have that same goal at the same time. Now I have exactly what I think I wanted but I'm really hesitant since it fell through one time already. What should I do? Keep dating around? Just keep him as a friend? Or see if it just "happens" and just throw him in the mix and date him like I would any other guy? I feel like I'd give him special treatment though.. I want to give this and honest chance and not just jump-the-gun again just because he's there and i know i can have a relationship. I feel if I do that, I'd get a big head about it maybe and it'd not work?
vsmini Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 I'm not saying you don't mean it or that you're not genuine but as a female I don't understand this at all: Our current status is "friends". He's expressed that he definitely wants to be with me in a serious LTR. I'm postponing it all and keeping it as a friendship. One thing is, I just don't want to lose an amazing friendship. But you want to turn down a potentially amazing relationship? It's not much of a pure friendship at all when one or the other is always chasing each other and not getting what they want. You guys are constantly playing cat and mouse so to be honest - you have already lost an honest friendship. Might as well shoot for the stars and try to see if a relationship is possible.
vsmini Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 (edited) And another thing The other thing is, I've quaintly enjoyed causally dating & just scoping out the scene. You're keeping him on the backburner...which I'm sure, as a female, you would resent if a guy was doing that to you. Keep this in mind because I'm sure he's aware of it. If I had to judge based on what you've said in your OP - it doesn't really seem like you're that into him and with a past friendship you should pretty sure how you feel about him. Edited October 13, 2011 by vsmini
thatone Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 you're not going to be friends anyways, you might as well date each other. he's attracted to you, if you try to friend zone him again he'll disappear if he has any semblance of backbone.
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