Most of the men aged 25-30 are taken...

[udolipixie]

Cougars are divorced, rich 45+ women. In Arizona...yes, there are TONS of them. We have bars that are known as "cougar dens" where they hang out. Men they're after 25-35 yr olds.

 

Arizona woman.

 

 

Cougars are NOT 30-40 because that's my age range and I'm not divorced nor rich. Younger women 30-40 I think are called Pumas if they search after 25-30 yr old men.

Pumas...

 

I dated a guy 10 yrs my junior when I was 36. He was dumb as a box of rocks, but oh so fun.

 

I like younger men, but men normally want women younger then them - depending on what they want out of life. Men my age (38) if they're looking ot have kids normally want to date women 25-30. Men who want to date me are normally in the 40-50 age range.

That sounds right.

 

So I guess there's no solid answer to your question...age matters mostly on what someone is looking for in a relationship and not so much how many years have passed on the calendar.

Pretty much. I did get my answer though on what's your cougar range for the men age 25-30..cougar range being 45+

[somedude81]

It's unreasonable that your height is why you're unattractive.

 

Height could be a reason...keyword a...there's body shape, facial features, and facial proportions when talking about attractiveness

All of the above is fine for me. Whenever I posted my picture online I keep getting told that I'm good looking and that my body is fine. Either everybody is lying to me. Or being 5'6 has that big of an impact on me.

 

Keyword...some.

That's because the one's who aren't don't want to.

 

How about this. Most if not all women don't have to be single longer than two weeks if they didn't want to.

 

More opportunities doesn't mean easier.

Are you serious?

 

Of course having more opportunities means it's going to be easier. That's people always want to maximize the number of opportunities for things they want.

 

Getting back to my example. The woman who goes on 8 first dates in a month is already physically attracted to each one, otherwise she wouldn't have gone out with them. All she has to do is narrow it down to the best guy.

 

While a guy who goes on two first dates a month also has to narrow it down to find somebody who he is compatible with. And an even greater risk is being let go by the woman.

 

Frankly, I'd rather be the one looking at all the resumes then being just one of many resumes on the desk.

[fortyninethousand322]

Yeah and I see no reason to believe otherwise.

 

BTW, aren't you several years younger than me, I'm 30.

 

Yeah, I'm not exactly dating girls in their 20's. I've been trying to do that for the last 10 years. I wasn't always older than the girls I was interested. So why was I single then?

 

Beats me. I hear stories all time (here and elsewhere) about the types of men women date. I'm talking guys who aren't even self-sufficient: can't do their own laundry, live with parents, unemployed or working a dead-end service industry job, selfish, childish, etc. There are two threads right now depicting a situation where the guy is treating his girlfriend in a way I would never. Yet, those are exactly the types of guys who never have problems finding a date .

 

And yeah I'm younger than you (I'm 23) but that's largely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. A while ago I found a university study (I can't remember which school but I think it was Harvard) from 2007 that said by age 21, 87% of men and 81% of women had had sex. And, from age 25 to age 35 the rates of male virginity saw almost no change. I know you're not a virgin, but I am and I think that inexperienced stigma tends to start to kick in at age 25 (give or take).

[udolipixie]

Dating for me is about finding someone half decent/not totally repulsive. I've given up on finding someone I'm uniquely drawn to since that never works out anyway.

That's kind of dark.

 

If it's about half decent/not totally repulsive why not stay single, casually date, and use hookers/prostitutes?

 

 

But see I don't think that when guys get older they suddenly become good boyfriend/marriage material. You either are or you're not. Certainly a lot of people (men and women) go through casual stages, but I don't think a guy who wasn't good boyfriend material at 20, suddenly becomes one at 35.

I wasn't saying that when guys get older they suddenly become good boyfriend/marriage material.

 

How did you get that from this?

It's not surprising a lot of women are attracted to older men. If a woman wants to have an attractive guy whose boyfriend material who may later be marriage material the best bet is the older guy when she's young. That way she's not hard pressed finding a good catch when she's mid to late twenties and even harder pressed when older.

 

After all when young the guys her age will usually be not boyfriend material, not into a serious relationship, interested in mainly sex, and if they are looking for a relationship it tends not to last long.

 

If anything you should have gotten that girls have a better bet of getting a guy whose boyfriend/marriage material when they are young & choose older guys. Understandable too since the older guy good catches will be dating younger and older guys usually want a serious relationship and/or to settle down more than guys their age.

 

No becoming boyfriend/marriage material rather there's a better chance of finding boyfriend/marriage material in older guys.

 

What I was trying to get at that I personally am not good boyfriend material, if I was I wouldn't be single right now.

That's kind of dark.

 

If you think you're personally not good boyfriend material & you're just looking for someone half decent/not totally repulsive why are you interested in dating?

 

Yeah what I was getting at was that:

Most attractive decent men are taken.

Most of the attractive decent men not taken are dating younger/much younger women.

The rest of the decent men are generally average looking at best and that average is not the majority appearance for these men.

 

Not that if you're single you're not boyfriend/girlfriend material.

 

 

since women have more choices (due to the higher ratio of young men to young women)

That ratio speaks about "more choices" for young women. If these more choices are for relationships and marriage.

 

so no one is really going to suffer because I'm not in the dating pool.

Seems like you're the only suffering...therapy perhaps? Or are you content and happy with your life?

[somedude81]

Beats me. I hear stories all time (here and elsewhere) about the types of men women date. I'm talking guys who aren't even self-sufficient: can't do their own laundry, live with parents, unemployed or working a dead-end service industry job, selfish, childish, etc. There are two threads right now depicting a situation where the guy is treating his girlfriend in a way I would never. Yet, those are exactly the types of guys who never have problems finding a date .

Yeah, it seems that women's taste in men is all over the place. In a way it tells me that woman are either shallow and or stupid.

 

And yeah I'm younger than you (I'm 23) but that's largely irrelevant in the grand scheme of things. A while ago I found a university study (I can't remember which school but I think it was Harvard) from 2007 that said by age 21, 87% of men and 81% of women had had sex. And, from age 25 to age 35 the rates of male virginity saw almost no change. I know you're not a virgin, but I am and I think that inexperienced stigma tends to start to kick in at age 25 (give or take).

Actually, a seven year age difference is very relevant.

 

When I was your age I had just started having real conversations with women. I was still very quiet and insecure. I really didn't approach anybody. My confidence was worse and I didn't really know how to dress. I also couldn't recognize a bad woman or a user when I saw them.

 

Since then I've had a lot of time to grow up and I'm very different from how I used to be. Though why I'm still single beats me.

 

Though my point is, that you can change in a couple of years and fix whatever issues you have.

[fortyninethousand322]

That's kind of dark.

 

If it's about half decent/not totally repulsive why not stay single, casually date, and use hookers/prostitutes?

 

Well a couple of reasons: a) I can't get dates to save my life, women just don't seem to be interested b) I don't like the idea of using a prostitute, if anything I'd prefer to use porn instead c) prostitution is illegal in most of the U.S. and a special trip to Nevada isn't on my agenda right now.

 

 

If you think you're personally not good boyfriend material & you're just looking for someone half decent/not totally repulsive why are you interested in dating?

 

Well for the longest time I was just interested in finding someone more or less as attractive as me (I'm pretty sure my standards are fairly reasonable) who was fun to be around and shared some values/common interests with me. After failing miserably at that endeavor I'm not even sure I am interested in dating anymore. Failing constantly is not fun at all.

 

 

Seems like you're the only suffering...therapy perhaps? Or are you content and happy with your life?

 

I'm happy with the rest of my life. And, truth be told as long as I don't think about women or be around them (aside from the few who are my friends) I'm probably ok with being single too. But, as soon as I have to be around women or hear one of my friends starts to talk about some girl he's dating that's when I get kinda down about it.

[laotzu]

I'm in that age range, and - while not some sort of mind-blowingly, amazing catch - I'm probably sort of desirable. Some of us have failed relationships in that age range, which puts us back on the market. I have been dating a lot, but not exactly loving it.

[azsinglegal]

Arizona woman.

 

 

 

Pumas...

 

 

 

 

That sounds right.

 

 

Pretty much. I did get my answer though on what's your cougar range for the men age 25-30..cougar range being 45+

 

The problem IS...most men age 40-50 who want to date me have baggage, kids, ex-wifes and a bunch of crap I do NOT want to deal with. But...I'm finding if I want to have someone long term, I might have to suck it up and deal with those issues...for now tho, I'm enjoying my 33 yr old hot man with no baggage.

[udolipixie]

All of the above is fine for me.

 

By fine do you mean human looking and no abnormal defects? That doesn't mean you're not unattractive.

 

By fine do you mean average?

 

Whenever I posted my picture online I keep getting told that I'm good looking and that my body is fine. Either everybody is lying to me. Or being 5'6 has that big of an impact on me.

I'm going with lying as most people don't want to say you're unattractive.

 

You're either unattractive or average looking. Average isn't bad however most men/women tend to want a partner who is attractive or more attractive than them.

 

 

That's because the one's who aren't don't want to.

 

How about this. Most if not all women don't have to be single longer than two weeks if they didn't want to.

That doesn't mean women have it easier dating wise.

 

Being able to not being single in a less than 2 weeks doesn't mean women can get a relationship with someone they are attracted to, compatible with, and who is relationship/boyfriend/husband material.

 

Are you serious?

Yes.

 

Of course having more opportunities means it's going to be easier.

Not if all or most of those opportunities are sh*t or not what you want.

 

Pretty sure most guys signing up for all the dating services they can don't think it means it's easier for them to get the girl and relationship they want.

 

Do you think guys who approach 100 girls a day means it's easier for them to get a relationship with someone they are attracted to, compatible with, and who is girlfriend/wife material?

 

 

That's people always want to maximize the number of opportunities for things they want.

Most people who do maximize tend to do it in hopes that it'll mean they'll find a good one quicker. They usually don't think more means easier.

 

 

 

Getting back to my example. The woman who goes on 8 first dates in a month is already physically attracted to each one, otherwise she wouldn't have gone out with them.

Not every woman or all women are going with guys they are already attracted to.

 

There's guys they are "giving chances" to since he's nice or a nice guy.

 

There's guys they aren't attracted to and are being the nice girl hoping they can grow attracted to them.

 

There are girls who never say no to a date. In fact several guy members on here considered this admirable and wished all/most women did that.

 

So this already physically attracted to him is a toss up.

 

All she has to do is narrow it down to the best guy.

She could be physically attracted to all of them that doesn't mean any of them even the best guy is compatible with her and relationship/boyfriend/husband material.

[grkBoy]

Three pages and no sign of SpleenPoetry.

 

Plus she's only made five posts total in this site.

 

Think about it.

[udolipixie]

* Edit grkBoy just read...yeah...apology to SpleenPoetry.

 

Yeah, it seems that women's taste in men is all over the place. In a way it tells me that woman are either shallow and or stupid.

Or that women are human beings with different tastes and opinons?

 

Their taste in men is all over the place because they are human beings and not every human being likes and is attracted to the same thing. If that were the case compatibility would be easy to fine and beauty wouldn't be in the eye of the beholder but what is attractive would be truly universal.

 

Since women's taste in men being all over the place = shallow and/or stupid I'm guessing you're upset women are human beings that have tastes you don't suit.

 

Are you bitter because women aren't robots who if you do this they'll do that and give you sex & a relationship?

 

Or is it more of if women's tastes in men aren't what you are then they are shallow and or stupid?

 

Since men's taste in women are all over the place I guess that means men are either shallow and/or stupid.

Edited October 14, 2011 by udolipixie

[fortyninethousand322]

Or that women are human beings with different tastes and opinons?

 

 

He said that in response to my post which said that men who are seemingly not great catches tend to not have trouble getting dates.

 

This is what I said:

 

Beats me. I hear stories all time (here and elsewhere) about the types of men women date. I'm talking guys who aren't even self-sufficient: can't do their own laundry, live with parents, unemployed or working a dead-end service industry job, selfish, childish, etc. There are two threads right now depicting a situation where the guy is treating his girlfriend in a way I would never. Yet, those are exactly the types of guys who never have problems finding a date .

 

Now come on, are men who can't even take care of themselves really just a "different taste"? For my money no, it's just inexplicable. I'm not saying that all women want a guy like that (they don't and it would be foolish to assert that they do) but oddly enough I have never met a guy like that who had trouble finding dates.

[udolipixie]

Apology to SpleenPoetry

 

He said that in response to my post which said that men who are seemingly not great catches tend to not have trouble getting dates.

I am aware of what he said it in response to.

 

Doesn't change the impression I got by his statements.

 

His upset that women have different tastes, that those tastes may exclude him, and that those tastes may exclude other guys he doesn't think are worthy of it.

 

Now come on, are men who can't even take care of themselves really just a "different taste"?

Yes women are human beings with different tastes.

 

Not everyone has good taste. Pretty reasonable.

 

I'm talking guys who aren't even self-sufficient: can't do their own laundry, live with parents, unemployed or working a dead-end service industry job, selfish, childish, etc.

I find this bit amusing because guys on here are usually complaining that women:

reject good guys just because he lives with him parents

reject good guys just because he has a service job

reject good guys just because he's a bit childish

reject good guys just because he's unemployed

^don't you know how the economy is...are you a gold digger..etc

reject good guys just because he can't do his laundry

^feminist...feminazi..over a little simple thing like that really?

 

....at least it doesn't go as far as shaming women for rejecting selfish guys no matter how good he is.

 

Seems like damned if you do & damned if you don't

Reject them it's you're rejecting a good guy over a shallow reason.

Accept you're accepting a guy who can't even take care of himself.

 

For my money no, it's just inexplicable. I'm not saying that all women want a guy like that (they don't and it would be foolish to assert that they do) but oddly enough I have never met a guy like that who had trouble finding dates.

That doesn't mean hey since those guys don't have trouble women are shallow and/or stupid.

 

Does someone stating oddly enough I have never met a b*tchy pretty girl who had trouble finding = men are shallow and/or stupid?

 

Does stating oddly enough I have never met a guy who wanted to date an ugly girl = men are shallow and/or stupid?

 

Does stating oddly enough I have never met a lot of pretty girls who have trouble finding men who want to date them = men are shallow, stupid, and only care about looks?

 

Does someone stating oddly enough I have never had trouble getting a guy to f*ck me = men are shallow, stupid, and only care about sex?

 

No it means men are human beings with different tastes.

 

Once again not all tastes are good.

 

There are two threads right now depicting a situation where the guy is treating his girlfriend in a way I would never. Yet, those are exactly the types of guys who never have problems finding a date .

No confusion on my side there lots of guys on here have stories about their youth full of how women used them. Seems like shallow, evil, twisted, deranged, manipulative, cold hearted...etc b*tches didn't have much problems finding a date.

 

Tons of guys on here consistently complain about the same types they are attracted to. Oh but of course the LS typical response is guy mistreated/bad experiences = most women are like that & girl mistreated/bad experiences = she was attracted to the guy.

 

Also seems like men tend to be okay with being mistreated if the sex is consistent & good and/or she's hot...I've heard she's a b*tch but she's hot enough times from guys talking about their gf.

 

Studies show men are willing to skimp on other traits for looks & plenty of men claim they have f*ck/date material and marriage material. Some even make a girl his gf but considers her a fwb or placeholder.

 

Then there are just some people who love being mistreated because they like the drama, playing victim, being a martyr, or it's just how they are.

 

Yeah, it seems that women's taste in men is all over the place. In a way it tells me that woman are either shallow and or stupid.

My impression was that because there are women with bad taste that women are shallow and/or stupid.

 

That since women's taste in men are all over the place it's because women are either shallow and or stupid not because women are human beings who are different this they have different tastes.

 

Nope since their tastes are all over the place and not just something that can be confined and even worse bad taste exists women are shallow and/or stupid not just human beings with different tastes.

 

He goes validates this shallow and/or stupid since women's taste in men is all over the place...like men's taste in women aren't? Oh wait...guess men most either all want the same thing or men's all over the place tastes in women are better or much better than womens taste.

 

Hm...wonder how come just about the same amount of men & women on here complain about the opposite gender..

 

Seems like he's upset that some of those tastes don't include him and having different tastes that all over the place like a human being means women are shallow and or stupid. After all women should only want the same thing preferably tastes that suits what he has so that he can do this & they can dole out sex and relationship.

Edited October 14, 2011 by udolipixie

[fortyninethousand322]

 

Seems like he's upset that some of those tastes don't include him and having different tastes that all over the place like a human being means women are shallow and or stupid. After all women should only want the same thing preferably tastes that suits what he has so that he can do this & they can dole out sex and relationship.

 

I'm not quoting your entire post since I think this part pretty much sums it up. I think a lot of guys are merely perplexed when you hear that women like guys to be reasonably attractive, self-sufficient, educated and interesting, but then the guys who are exactly the opposite of that are having the best luck in the dating world. And, even though the women who date them know exactly what they're getting themselves into they still complain that these guys are that way. I mean at least have the decency to have a little pride in the kind of guys you like. If a woman likes those kinds of guys good for her, she just shouldn't expect sympathy when it doesn't work out.

 

The only thing I disagree with SD81 on is that he said "women" like women in general instead of "some" or "many" women which would have been more accurate.

[grkBoy]

Apology to SpleenPoetry

 

I wasn't insinuating you chased her away. I more or less felt the initial question/comment seemed stupid, like when guys complain there's no decent women out there.

 

Seems trollish in my opinion.

[somedude81]

* Edit grkBoy just read...yeah...apology to SpleenPoetry.

 

 

Or that women are human beings with different tastes and opinons?

 

Their taste in men is all over the place because they are human beings and not every human being likes and is attracted to the same thing. If that were the case compatibility would be easy to fine and beauty wouldn't be in the eye of the beholder but what is attractive would be truly universal.

 

Since women's taste in men being all over the place = shallow and/or stupid I'm guessing you're upset women are human beings that have tastes you don't suit.

Yeah, I have my own place, a job, I go to college full-time on a major that's going to land me a great career. I'm not going to list everything but on paper I seem like a really good catch.

 

But then hearing about how girls are with a guy who his 25+ that lives with his parents doesn't work and just smokes pot all day. That's the sign of somebody being stupid.

 

Frankly, I can't figure out why what I am doesn't suit anybody. I have my ideas why I think women don't like me, but they don't paint women in a good light so I'll keep them to myself for now.

[udolipixie]

I wasn't insinuating you chased her away. I more or less felt the initial question/comment seemed stupid, like when guys complain there's no decent women out there.

 

Seems trollish in my opinion.

 

OH.

 

I don't think she's a troll maybe she wants other options?

Online dating.

Ask your friends to set you up.

Start approaching & asking out.

Ask your happily coupled friends to set you up.

 

Or perhaps the lack of lollipops & sunshine outlooks on dating made her stop checking?

[iris219]

I don't think there is an abundance of quality singles in any age group. Lord knows there aren't many desirable men aged 30-45 (my age range).

[udolipixie]

I think a lot of guys are merely perplexed when you hear that women like guys to be reasonably attractive, self-sufficient, educated and interesting, but then the guys who are exactly the opposite of that are having the best luck in the dating world.

It shouldn't be that perplexing.

 

1. What you hear isn't always true.

 

2. That also happens in their own gender. So it's not like guys are seeing something they never seen before.

 

How often does a guy state that he wants a reasonably attractive, self-sufficient, educated and interesting woman but the girls who have attractiveness regardless of other traits often have "the best luck". As long as she's not a b*tch if she's attractive how self-sufficient, educated and interesting doesn't seem to matter much. Though even if she's a b*tch she'll often have "the best luck"

 

I'm going by that best luck means more dating experiences or desirable partners? Desirable partner probably being the bad guys get the hot girls for guys?

 

How often do men state that sexual history is the past yet the virgin or low experience girls have "the best" luck.

 

How often state do men state that looks aren't everything and they'd rather be with a nice average looking woman over a b*tchy supermodel yet they pursue the most attractive or more attractive than themselves.

 

I'm guessing the being perplexed comes from them seeing the situation from a different light?

 

And, even though the women who date them know exactly what they're getting themselves into they still complain that these guys are that way.

So what? Guys often do the same thing.

 

That's a people thing not a gender thing.

 

It's unreasonable but it's pretty common so it's not like it's some strange new thing of people making decisions and complaining about them.

 

I mean at least have the decency to have a little pride in the kind of guys you like..

You're working on the angle that every girl complaining about the guy likes that kind of guy.

 

She could like smart guys yet this smart guy is a jerk and she's complaining. She likes smart guys not jerks just so happens the smartie is a jerkie.

 

She could like attractive guys yet this attractive guy is a jerk and she's complaining he's a jerk. She likes hot guys not jerks just so happens the hottie is a jerkie.

 

Does this mean every guy complaining about his gfs bad traits like those types of girls? No.

 

Some could & some could not. Toss up when you're talking about the group. When it's about the individual if she/he has the pattern of dating those with those traits then it's usually a yes.

 

If a woman likes those kinds of guys good for her, she just shouldn't expect sympathy when it doesn't work out.

She can complain, whine, and cry about it all she wants people have that right with freedom of speech.

 

Or she can expect sympathy...people can expect what they want you don't have to give it to them.

 

The only thing I disagree with SD81 on is that he said "women" like women in general instead of "some" or "many" women which would have been more accurate.

Cool seems like you're okay with negative statements based on emotions & bad experiences as long as it's a some/many generalization.

 

Guess by going by the sh*tloads of bad dating experiences by women you're also okay with "many guys are jerks who only want sex"

Edited October 14, 2011 by udolipixie

[azsinglegal]

I don't think there is an abundance of quality singles in any age group. Lord knows there aren't many desirable men aged 30-45 (my age range).

 

I'm finding the same thing...I'm curious as to what you consider is desirable?

 

I've definately changed what I'm looking for over the past year. Getting closer to 39 mortifies me too.

[iris219]

I'm finding the same thing...I'm curious as to what you consider is desirable?

 

I've definately changed what I'm looking for over the past year. Getting closer to 39 mortifies me too.

 

I only have 2 initial criteria: 1. That I find the guy attractive. 2. That I find him interesting.

 

That's hard enough to find. If I do happen to find that, then I hope that he's actually single, he wants a relationship (and doesn't have commitment or intimacy issues), has no addiction issues, can support himself, and isn't flaky, rude, weird, a liar, etc.

 

I have yet to find that.

[grkBoy]

If your "neck of the woods" only contained hot guys who refuse to commit and average joes who don't set your panties on fire, but will commit...what would you do?

 

a) Rethink it all and pick an average Joe you can connect with

 

b) Take an average Joe and try to work him to become one of the "hot guys"

 

c) Marry an average Joe and then have affairs behind his back with the hot guys

 

d) Choose to remain single and childless in life, but accept the nights of passion the hot guys are willing to give

 

e) Look for a longer distant rare "hot guy who will commit", even if you have to do a LDR for a while.

 

f) Choose to simply remain alone and die alone if you can't have it all.

 

 

You could easily reverse the genders of this question and ask the guys this too. "Shallow gold digging hot bitch" VS "nice plain Jane"?

[iris219]

If your "neck of the woods" only contained hot guys who refuse to commit and average joes who don't set your panties on fire, but will commit...what would you do?

 

a) Rethink it all and pick an average Joe you can connect with

 

b) Take an average Joe and try to work him to become one of the "hot guys"

 

c) Marry an average Joe and then have affairs behind his back with the hot guys

 

d) Choose to remain single and childless in life, but accept the nights of passion the hot guys are willing to give

 

e) Look for a longer distant rare "hot guy who will commit", even if you have to do a LDR for a while.

 

f) Choose to simply remain alone and die alone if you can't have it all.

 

 

You could easily reverse the genders of this question and ask the guys this too. "Shallow gold digging hot bitch" VS "nice plain Jane"?

 

Most women aren't going for the super hot guy.

 

Even the "average" guys I meet are jerks and/or wholly uninteresting.

[Jynxx]

Even the "average" guys I meet are jerks and/or wholly uninteresting.

 

It's all about communicating experiences. Someone who got ripped off in tourist trap after tourist trap and who was sleeping in crappy bunkbeds in cheap motels in between flying from country to country without any goal is the same person as someone travelling the world, meeting interesting people and fascinating cultures; the only difference is one of them learned how to market his experience to a potential partner. In reality they're equally boring/interesting, you just get fooled or fool yourself by one of them knowing how to talk to people and you confuse that with being an interesting person.

[FrustratedStandards]

Most of them are taken because thats the age when men want to settle down (in general).

 

So they get into relationships.