StellaA Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 My family and friends do not want me to get back with my ex.....do I listen to them or follow my heart?
flitzanu Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 no way, your friends and family are probably just extremely jealous and don't want you to be happy, why else would they be opposed??
bdbmwer Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Theres so much more that this depends on such as whether your relationship was toxic or abusive in anyway and the manner of the breakup. Normally I would say follow your heart but you have to remember that your family sees things from a non-emotional standpoint since youre blinded by feelings so i think the logical thing to do would be to really consider your families opinion and WHY they say what they do and look at your relationship for what it really was not the illusion you may be having post-breakup
Author StellaA Posted October 13, 2011 Author Posted October 13, 2011 Thanks guys....yeah they dont have the emotional attachment....but can i be guided by others always
Unrequitedlove Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 I went with my heart once regardless of being disowned by my family just to have my heart broken. If you really love this person, go with your heart. But I don't think your family could be "jealous", when they witnessed you at your worst.
TLCbear Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 My family and friends do not want me to get back with my ex.....do I listen to them or follow my heart? Base on your couple of recent posts about this same situation (you feeling sick and all), I say listen to your family...as one stated, they can see things that you can't, I'm pretty sure they are not jealous or hating, due to the fact you're on this website.
Coupedriver Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 DO not listen to friends or FAMILY..!! They are your worst enemy in dealing with this.Think I am lying...? Do a Google search or search all of the break-up books you can find....One thing in common....STAY AWAY from FAMILY and FRIENDS.! I had 2 counselors tell me the exact thing.There advice isn't worth it....I stated it before..they judge but they don't have NO emotional connection to this what so ever.
Author StellaA Posted October 14, 2011 Author Posted October 14, 2011 Really? is that what the books say? the oly thing is that it is your friends n family who we go back to if it doesn't work
R32 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 Do what makes you happy. At the end of the day, everyone can offer their advice but it's up to you to make a decision. Whatever you choose to do, your family and friends should support you, as long as you're doing what makes YOU happy.
M2155 Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 I'll say it again. Some people on here would not hessitate to get back with their ex. YOU are. Maybe it's because you had enough time to clear your head that you are evaluating it because you know the consequences (how much it hurts) if it doesn't work out. I've read on here that people say it hurts worse the second time which logically I don't get since the second time, you knew what you were in for, but I digress. Eitherway, you have doubts and there is a quote that says "if a relationship is nothing but questions...then there is your answer." You seem to put a lot of emphasis on what your family thinks and that they are the ones you have to fall back on if it doesn't work. I'd be concerned if they would seriously disown you for who you date. I can see them not liking him but family should stick with you. Also as others have stated. Don't get back in a relationship with him. Take your time, just date and let him work to win your commitment. It doesn't have to be a yes or no answer until you are ready.
Kamila Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 My family and friends do not want me to get back with my ex.....do I listen to them or follow my heart? I would search for advice in my head. Not my heart, absolutely not, the heart is sometimes misleading and so irrational. You can't think clear with it. Take a big step backwards and analyze your situation from a logical point of view (if possible). That is why the no contact rule exists...to gain another perspective and to find that inner peace and find your inner self again. As for your family and friends, try to respect their opinion, they are the ones there for you when your lover breaks up with you. When I was devastated after my break-up, my family and friends were there to catch me in my fall. Without them, i don't know what i would have done. Really. And for my ex-bf at that time, he was nowhere to be found. Great guy .
flitzanu Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 so your gut is telilng you no, and making you hesitate, and your friends and family are telling you no, and you're still looking for someone to tell you it's ok? obviously my sarcasm was overlooked...your friends and family ARE the only ones that WANT you to be happy and will do and say everything they can to make that happen. as for them not having an emotional attachment to the situation, wtf does that even mean? that your friends have no emotional care or respect for you? um yeah they do, at least they should.
Author StellaA Posted October 18, 2011 Author Posted October 18, 2011 Thanks guys...........so tough, I love him and want to be with him but have not had one piece of advice saying I should go for it
othersideofthepillow Posted October 18, 2011 Posted October 18, 2011 with your last post, you already know what you want to do...you just want "us" to say its ok. however, we cannot do that. we dont know your situation, we dont know your ex, the relationship you to had, your friends or your family. but like i said, you already know what you want to do...you just want to be reassured by others. imo i believe that you need to look at what caused it to end, has that been fixed/can it be fixed, will it be a issue in the future, have you taken your ex off the pedestal and looked at how they really are? i personally am a believer in second chances (never had one of my own) but i still believe they are out there. sometimes a second time around is a million times better than the first go of it (ive seen it since two good friends of mine broke up for a while but are now happily married)...sometimes it just puts the final nail in the "what if" coffin.... i think that if the issues have been resolved, you both have discussed it, and are BOTH WILLING TO START FRESH AND REALLY WORK ON IT - THAN GO FOR IT!
messymichelle Posted October 19, 2011 Posted October 19, 2011 i was in the same sitation were i wanted to get back with him,but my friends and family didnt, they advised me to be careful but it was my OWN decision, so i went back with him but i couldnt forget the pain, hurt, tears and the feeling of self loathing,that he caused me, in the end it didnt work out, he hadnt changed, but then i had to face the pity looks and " i knew it wod happen" all over again, yes they were great to me even though they didnt like him, but they had seen me at my worst and loved me anyway, but i had the feeling that although it was my decision it was the wrong one because the fantasy was not the reality,and in making the wrong decision a apart of me feels like i let them down went they were the ones that helped pick me up, its UR decision but it might not be the fantasy reunion that u have been thinkin about good luck in what you decide
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