pariah_112 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 This was my first intimate relationship with a female. She was my brothers best friend and lived in florida(long distance). Only last year did things get serious between us and we both ended up in a relationship. My bro warned me alot about her because she was known to cheat. 2 months before we were together she got out of a 2yr relationship and it seemed they were still friends. Things were well between us. Sometimes she would be really critical of me and i felt i was not up to her standards. Other times i felt i couldnt trust although there was no prof of her doing any wrong. She told me she needed space and it hurt cause i've only had been with her for a month and it was long distance. And when i gave her her space she would always text me and ask if i forgot i had a gf. So one day we fought and didn speak for a couple days, she calls me back and we reconcile and she wants to see me. However, i ended up seeing another broad who left bruises on my neck. My ex of course finds out when i see her. But i was totally distraught by what i did and i knew she felt how i felt, so she said she'd forgive me. However, am kind of quiet , insecure and lack alot of conifdence, she saw that in me. When i came back to nyc she posts on fb "exclusivity can become quite boring" i confront her about it, knowing i was boring when i came to see her. She said it was quite a general comment, after we argue she txts me "i need space" and "after a while we can talk". I got upset and deleted her plus blocked her on fb but she warned me not to do it cause she would never talk to me again. I lose it and try to talk her, friend request her, but she ignores me. After a while she says to "let it go, it wont workout". i was hurt and said hurtfull things, we got into arguments. i pleaded with, begged her. One day i told her i missed her, she said she missed me too and asked me why i missed her, i told her i missed when she slept on me. After that she never responded.i knew why because it was a shallow reason, but i did miss her for more than just that, but i only wish she knew. i kept buggin her and she said that she was sorry for saying that she missed me and lead me on with that statement. I knew i ****ed up. this so called relationship was only 2 months. Its been about 6 months now, i friend request her , no response. So i bought her a gift, she accepted and said it was sweet and confused why i did it. I told her i missed her, and she said it feels good to feel missed. But i try to talk to her and ask how she is doing , cause i care about her, no response either. Couple days ago i wrote out a whole list on why i miss her but no response. Yesterday was her bday so i told her happy bday and i hope you have a good one. These last few days of communication was through email. Everyone tells me to move on but shes all i think about. Sometimes i know things would not workout between us but i still want to talk to her sometimes, just a deeper convo with her. its a constant thought of her thats making me crazy, its not good. have you ever had any experience like this? it was a long distance relationship 2months old....am overeacting.
Author pariah_112 Posted October 13, 2011 Author Posted October 13, 2011 pls be brutally honest in your opinions about me..i need to learn so i can change
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