Save me from myself? Or me to understand what I'm thinking here? Either-or

[wild trillium]

So- there's this guy. He has been checking me out hard for months.This checking me out thing has been going on for 9 months now. At first I wasn't remotely interested. Just out of a year & a half long relationship that ended badly & all that.

 

He works in a store doing stocking type work. So after the months of checking me out he asks me if he can help me find something.,He was making all kinds of eye contact & was getting very close to me. I was a bit freaked out, but in an okay way, I guess. I was actually looking for a particular item that I couldn't find. He seemed uncertain of the item completely. So I go about my merry way, shopping. Thinking whatever. A few minutes later he tracks me down with 2 boxes in variation of the thing I was looking for & led me to where the there was more of it. I'm now thinking "wow, this guy is really into customer service".

 

A few days laters I go back to that store, same thing happens. The checking me out, the eye contact, the physical closeness... the going out of his way to get me what I needed. I was feeling very nervous, but not in a creepy way. So this time I engage him in conversation. He told me about where he grew up & generally chit chatted a bit. I decided to introduce myself at that point. When I told him my name he seemed a little hesitant. He commented that there were a lot of "Michelles" around here. I was like ok. I don't really know any but, ok. Then he says " My wife's name is Michelle". At that point I just had a little social skill meltdown, because I was trying to get up the balls to give him my number. Social skills have never been my strong point anyway. I tried to end the conversation pleasantly since I don't want to get involved with a married person. IF that was even a possibility to begin with. It was weird though. He made a parting comment that he hoped I found whatever else I was looking for. With an emphasis on the inflection to that word. It seemed kinda strange at the time.

 

The next time I saw him I didn't want to be rude so I said hello to him. He came down the aisle where he was working & once again offered to help me. I told him what I was looking for. He seemed kind of flustered & said he wasn't sure & then took me to his manager and said "This guy can answer all your questions", and abruptly left.

 

Tonight I was there again & didn't see him & thought the coast was clear. At one point I looked back over my shoulder, I don't really know why I did that but... there he was. When we made brief eye contact I felt like someone had punched me. I got all shaky & crap. I looked away quickly & saw that he turned away as I did. There was no acknowledgement from either of us.

 

I don't know what to think about this situation. Except that I know it feels weird as hell, I don't want to get involved with a married guy regardless of how hot & interesting he is and I'm now worried that he might think I'm stalking him or something. My schedule is nonexistent, I do what I do when I feel like it, aside from working. I definitely do think to myself that he might be there when I go to that store, but I'm now a little afraid to talk to him.

 

Am I making up this whole mutual attraction thing in my head? Why do I feel like I've been hit by lightening when this dude looks at me? That's really not my usual response to most guys. I'm very independent & I hardly even date. How do I make these feelings stop? I don't want to feel this way. And I don't like the awkward tone this has taken. It's a shame because he seems like really interesting person & I'd like to be able to be friendly without feeling overwhelmed. It's kinda gross.

 

Any thoughts?

Edited October 13, 2011 by wild trillium