steve566 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 So after my ex and i went to dinner last week together and then she told me after hanging out all night that she hoped she wasnt leading me on and that she didnt feel like we were going to get back together, i decieded that i need to go NC. I feel maybe im being to accessible to her and she hasnt had a chance to miss me. I want nothing more than to get back together but she says she lost feelings after i hadnt proposed within 2 years. Ive been NC for 6 days since we went but then she texts me tonight and asks how my weeks going, i didnt reply for over an hour but then just sent a short text in reply, which led to more texts back and forth. Why is she texting me? I feel it is inhibiting any progress i make with NC. Whats the best way to react if i want her back but also realize that moving on may be in my best interest?
ken_25 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 You could write to her and tell her that because she does not want to be with you and you still want her, you simply cannot keep communication the way it is. You need space right now, for you to truly heal and move on. Keeping in contact like this is hurting you, and you shouldn't be putting yourself through this. Then, start strict NC. Forget about this girl bein with you again, it may never happen and so it's best to brace for that. However one day you may work things out, we can't know that right now... but you can't cling to that, you must detatch now. I think it's best to try and move on, we're here for you bud.
TaraMaiden Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Why is she texting me? Because she can. but then just sent a short text in reply, And that's why. Because she knows you're still weak enough to lick up the crumbs.... which led to more texts back and forth. ....I rest my case.... I feel it is inhibiting any progress i make with NC. Whats the best way to react if i want her back but also realize that moving on may be in my best interest? Go total, unequivocal, unconditional No Contact. Right now, she doesn't want you, but she craves the enjoyment of the attention you give her. And once it's broken, fixing it is a very very rare skill. Read my Caliguy No Contact Signature. it will tell you everything you need to know. Or probably know already, but aren't willing to practice......
Author steve566 Posted October 13, 2011 Author Posted October 13, 2011 alright thanks guys, i dont want to just ignore her completely if she's trying to reach out to me.. but i guess right now i just have to worry about myself. The reason i feel things didn't work out was lack of communication so that why its tough for me to just cut off contact because thats why we broke up. It wasnt a bitter break up and she isnt seeing anyone else so i just dont want to lose a chance to get back together. I will keep nc but who knows if she;ll keep texting.
M2155 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 alright thanks guys, i dont want to just ignore her completely if she's trying to reach out to me.. but i guess right now i just have to worry about myself. The reason i feel things didn't work out was lack of communication so that why its tough for me to just cut off contact because thats why we broke up. It wasnt a bitter break up and she isnt seeing anyone else so i just dont want to lose a chance to get back together. I will keep nc but who knows if she;ll keep texting. Or you can remain in a state of random texting that don't mean anything. If NC is a problem, why not just ask straight forward, what are your intentions with me? Because the texts are confusing as I still have feelings for you. I'd like to work things out or have some space to move on.
M2155 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Or you can remain in a state of random texting that don't mean anything. If NC is a problem, why not just ask straight forward, what are your intentions with me? Because the texts are confusing as I still have feelings for you. I'd like to work things out or have some space to move on. I wish I had followed my own advice!!
ken_25 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 alright thanks guys, i dont want to just ignore her completely if she's trying to reach out to me.. but i guess right now i just have to worry about myself. The reason i feel things didn't work out was lack of communication so that why its tough for me to just cut off contact because thats why we broke up. It wasnt a bitter break up and she isnt seeing anyone else so i just dont want to lose a chance to get back together. I will keep nc but who knows if she;ll keep texting. Break no contact and tell her you need space. You can't see eachother, tell her she needs to leave you be until you're ready. You can't be there in the way you are for her right now, or for along time most likely. She doesn't want you anymore, her feelings may change one day and things could work out for you. However they may not and you need to brace for that because right now you're just delaying moving forward and feeling better. And when or if she sends a text that isn't "I want you back" or something like that, just ignore it. You would of told her upfront already to back away and give you your time, she should respect that. Don't feel guilty for ignoring her.
Zabs Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 To me..it doesn't sound like she is JUST after the attention you provide..it sounds like she has a game plan....what's yours? Zabs xx
Author steve566 Posted October 13, 2011 Author Posted October 13, 2011 All very good advice, thanks guys... if she continues texting, calling or asking to hangout, i will have to let her know that unless she wants to work things out i cant wait in limbo for her. Im not sure if she does have some plan but if she does she has a weird way of getting what she wants. My plan is to hope for the best but force myself to move on for my own well being.
ken_25 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Do what you want and handle it how you think you should, ether way it'll be experience gained. But heres my advice.. Forget about hope, that will hold you back. You need to act, be the one to confront this and tell her what's up. Don't wait for her to call or text because she will in time. I just want you in a position to where set backs are as limited as they can be. You need to move on, having hope for the "best" which I'm guessing is you getting back together isn't moving on. I suggest removing her from all social networking sites, tell her you need space and to be left alone for now and you'll contact her when you're ok. Start over, stay busy, surround yourself with good friends and family members and truly move on.
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