melenkurion Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 It's been a year. I'm not quite over it yet. I think I am close. Another couple of months, perhaps. However, I am not sure that I mean that exactly. I don't much think about him most of the time. If I am sad/upset/whatever, then he pops up in my head. That's simply because I was this big mess of hurt a year ago in the breakup time, and I suppose I now associate all my bad stuff with the breakup. I felt an intensity of all the messy emotions at that time, that I had never felt with that intensity before (rage, anger, betrayal, misery, jealously, rejection, anxiety). If I feel those emotions now, it reminds me of that, I suppose. Maybe in the same way that the smell of freesias reminds me of my mum, the feeling of anger reminds me of the breakup. I suppose that means I haven't processed the emotions quite, yet. I recognise that this is what is going on. I'm feeling quite down today, and it's nothing to do with the breakup. And actually, I'm not thinking of that person that used to be in my life that much.
SoulFinger Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 4 relationships in 16 months?! talk about a serial dater! My ex was the same...he had 3 gf's in less than a yr. Now call me crazy, but that doesnt sound like a rational/healthy thing! People like that, in my opinion, dont know what they want, or how to be alone. Hang in there, I still miss/love my ex- how foolish haha. I agree with you..they don't really know what they want and they hate being alone my ex admitted to it.I also know that she will never heal properly because she doesn't give herself time to do so. She told me after she said ..I miss our relationship that she knows she can't go back with me because of the hurt and pain..hmm right.Well she can just skip from one to the next thinking that she will find happiness.I wish her well because she will never find happiness that way.That grass always looks greener doesn't it?
LoveNoob Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 I agree with you..they don't really know what they want and they hate being alone my ex admitted to it.I also know that she will never heal properly because she doesn't give herself time to do so. She told me after she said ..I miss our relationship that she knows she can't go back with me because of the hurt and pain..hmm right.Well she can just skip from one to the next thinking that she will find happiness.I wish her well because she will never find happiness that way.That grass always looks greener doesn't it? My ex-GF once told me the exact same thing, she hated being alone and was therefor nearly always in a relationship. Since most relationships didnt mean all that much to her, it would take her a week or two to find a replacement. She waited about 3 months after our break before moving on, she actually said on the day of the break she wanted to be alone for a few months. I suppose that ended 3 weeks ago.
lalalandman Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Yea broke up 5 months ago after 5 years together. 6 weeks of NC. She had tried calling but I ignored. I'm basically 85-90% over her right now. By November, I know I'll be pretty solid. Staying busy, making new goals and being social really helps. Also having girls pursue me is great. I picked up a 2nd job just to keep busy. Surfing, reading, other hobbies. Also a little bit of forgiveness, for them and yourself, doesn't hurt. There's plenty of fish in the sea. I wish her happiness.
fetish1980 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 It's been 8 months, 1 day, 17 hours, 2 min and 05 seconds as of now. Nooo, i can't honestly say i'm quite over it. But i can say, although i still hurt and often think of her all the time. I am getting slowly getting better and my confidence is beginning to come back. I haven't jumped in to another relationship or in the arms of another woman and i'm much better for it. fetish
LoveNoob Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 How many of you have gone NC without telling your ex about it? And how many of you have gone NC and still have had their ex try to contact you? In my case, last sunday i told my ex-GF i couldnt stay friends if she kept telling me details about her nights out with her new partner. She didnt respond to that. Since she was "possibly" drunk sunday she might not have seen or remembered it so i had a mutual friend of ours relay a message yesterday: I told her i cannot be friends with her while she's dating another and wants that person more than me, as it would make me feel like i'm not special and that she couldnt keep the agreement not to tell me details about what she does with a future partner, that i will always love her and that that's the problem. Finishing with that i would not block her but did remove her from my communication stuff (MSN/Steam/etc) and that i hope she'll be happy. Her only reply to my friend was: "I didnt give him details, i just said im dating her now". Appearantly talking about her night out and how she ended up with her new GF in a strange guy's bed not knowing if they had a threesome or not does not count as details, or she can't remember. Anyway! Back to my point, how many of you still had an ex trying to contact you and was that after you told her you would back out ?
CaliBabe Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 It has been 5 months for me. My days are easier and I am happy again. But no, I am not over him. Yes, I wished one day he would show his face and let me know how he feels. Having a broken heart is like having broken ribs. It looks fine on the outside but every breath hurts.
Onlyjonley Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 The only way I got over my ex was completely erasing him from my life, including ignoring his texts and phone calls. Also, talking to other guys was a great distraction from giving into what my heart was feeling. I never thought things would get better. I forever thought I would feel like my heart had been ran over by a truck. But it really does get better. You just need time. And being without them becomes normal.
Surfer Girl Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 It has been 8 months for me... although last contact was in September... Us seeing each other at a charity event... I had always held out hope for us ... so I was able to move on much more... just knowing we would get back together... It wasn't until this last month that I accepted it really was over, and that is when it hurt the most... For the most part I have accepted the relationship is OVER... I am giving myself a year before dating again... I have gone out, had fun with others but not anyone compares... There are triggers that hurt... Like surfing at my local spot where we always surfed and him not being there... yet his best friend still surfs at the local home break... Perhaps in time it will be different....We were together 8 years...Alot of history and good times... Those memories will never go away... I hope I can go to places we used to in time and not think about him....
lalalandman Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 How many of you have gone NC without telling your ex about it? And how many of you have gone NC and still have had their ex try to contact you? In my case, last sunday i told my ex-GF i couldnt stay friends if she kept telling me details about her nights out with her new partner. She didnt respond to that. Since she was "possibly" drunk sunday she might not have seen or remembered it so i had a mutual friend of ours relay a message yesterday: I told her i cannot be friends with her while she's dating another and wants that person more than me, as it would make me feel like i'm not special and that she couldnt keep the agreement not to tell me details about what she does with a future partner, that i will always love her and that that's the problem. Finishing with that i would not block her but did remove her from my communication stuff (MSN/Steam/etc) and that i hope she'll be happy. Her only reply to my friend was: "I didnt give him details, i just said im dating her now". Appearantly talking about her night out and how she ended up with her new GF in a strange guy's bed not knowing if they had a threesome or not does not count as details, or she can't remember. Anyway! Back to my point, how many of you still had an ex trying to contact you and was that after you told her you would back out ? Well, I went 6 weeks NC at one point when I changed my phone number. Then after that period, I contacted her with my new number and she called me instantly. In that week, she described how she was ****ing a surgeon she met at her hospital, and how he would ignore her. How she also went to Vegas and "things" happened there. Then she started acting surprised that I sounded happy. THEN she started to apologize for treating me like crap for 4 years. At one point I was going to go see her, and while driving, she told me she lied about where she lived so I turned around. So she called back and said that's why she broke up with me, because I make her feel guilty for everything. A week after that, she called and said she didn't want me to be mad at her, and how she had been fighting with everyone in her life. She wished me a happy early birthday, then flushed the toilet and said Oh, gotta go, and hung up. She tried calling a few times right after that and twice 2 days later. I didn't pick up. That was 6 weeks ago (although I did receive some blocked call a few days ago). I figured, how convenient that the last thing she'll remember is the sound of her flushing me down the toilet....
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