Glove_slap Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 If so how long did it take you? I've been broken up with my ex for about 1 year + 4 months, I find myself thinking about her less and less, we dated for 3 years. I went cold turkey after six months of trying to win her back, December would mark the one year anniversary of me giving up/letting her go. She started dating a new guy weeks after we broke up, shes still with him, it hurt so much at first, even when I went cold turkey on her. Now it's like a distant memory, as if none of it happened.
mike588 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 If so how long did it take you? I've been broken up with my ex for about 1 year + 4 months, I find myself thinking about her less and less, we dated for 3 years. I went cold turkey after six months of trying to win her back, December would mark the one year anniversary of me giving up/letting her go. She started dating a new guy weeks after we broke up, shes still with him, it hurt so much at first, even when I went cold turkey on her. Now it's like a distant memory, as if none of it happened. I'm only about 9 weeks into being dumped and am getting there. I too find that I'm thinking less about her. Iv'e been in strict N.C. for about 7 weeks and doing that helps alot,, did'nt try to win her back. My ex. went back to her ex. and I was devestated at first but it's finally starting to be a distant memory. Thank God!!
mike588 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 I broke about two years ago. It was like hell for few 4-5 months. Then one day she mailed me that she has got a new boyfrnd. It tore me apart as I tried a lot to get her back. However I knew crying over it is not going to do anything good. I started seeing other girls. I then meet someone new. I was very attracted to her. After going out with her for around 5 months, she told me she already had a boyfriend. I was back to from where I started. I didn't took me more than a week to forget about this new girl. But I still think to my ex with whom I had a very deep relationship of about 2 yrs. Yeah sometimes we run into each other or catch her online. But the only thing she talks about why I was not a good boyfriend and why is happy with her new bf. Life is funny. Isn't it? She said you were not a good boyfriend? Check out my thread: Am I a good boyfriend/husband
eleanorhurting Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 nope but im closer to it than i was yesterday. and i dont think you should dwell on whether you were a good boyfriend or not. They breaking up with you might not have anything to do with it. Learn from your mistakes. Do not let someone throw what you did wrong more than a year ago to your face at this point when so much time has gone by! I would seriously not let her even bring it up. Just say no. If there is something i have learned the very very hard way this year is that we teach people how to treat us.
snug.bunny Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 If so how long did it take you? Yes. It took around three years.
shortee143 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Not quite. Been 6 months, not in NC (tons of mutual friends so I see him). I am getting better every day though, I am def not where I was 5 months ago! I even hada deal with meeting the new gf- and I am still making progress, but it still hurts.
lymtal1 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 no. i think about her daily but not at the level i did one two or three months ago. so i know it is getting better but i realize that i have no timeline. it will happen when it happens. definately not over her and definately know that i am not ready to see others. have tried but to no avail. sucks when you are out with someone and the other person is in your head when trying to carry on a conversation. not fair to the person on the other side of the table. but i'll keep trying.
ken_25 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Nope. It ****ing sucks man... I can't wait for this ride to be finally over.
The_Good_Me Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 It's been 6 months since the break up. Still love her, still think about her every day, still get torn up thinking of her with someone else, still definitely nowhere near over her! Can't see that changing either
Mack05 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 (edited) For me yes. It took 4 very hard months (went to Therapy, which probably saved me alot more grief). Don't think about her anymore and I am 110% certain that I wouldn't feel a thing if I saw her walking down the street. After the first two months where I obsessed and thought over and over, I began following the advice outlined in my signature below. Yes I still have some scars from my last relationship, but I won't have those scars effect my relationship going forward.. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t302215/ Edited October 13, 2011 by Mack05
CJ B-Boy Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 I broke up with my ex nearly 3 years ago. She had a son (who wasn't mine) and when we split stopped me from seeing him. I was very depressed and wanted her back. But it was for the wrong reasons (for her son and cuz i was lonely). However I did not get back with her or anyone else. I am still single now. My best advice to anyone who has broke up with someone recently and it's hurting. Stick it out cuz after a while the hurt goes away! And when it's gone you are a different person. Like i said i have been single for 3 years and was abstinent for 14 months and i feel so strong minded now. If i was to get with someone now it would be for the right reasons. In short my advice is get used to loving and being comfortable with yourself before you expect anyone else to. Once you have you will see a difference in every relationship, romantic or platonic, you have.
LoveNoob Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 (edited) - 3,5 years since i met her and we fell in love - 3 years since the relationship began - 3 months since she broke up with me and wanted to stay friends - 1,5 month since i gave up trying to talk to her about coming back - 4 days since hearing she is dating someone new - 4 days since last direct contact - 1 day since i last heard about her through a mutual friend - 30 minutes since last time i cried about it being over and being lonely, scared, feeling replaced, nothing special, realising the future we wanted will never happen, and missing all the little things about her that made me love her. - No, not over my ex. Edited October 13, 2011 by LoveNoob
CJ B-Boy Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 - 30 minutes since last time i cried about it being over and being lonely, scared, feeling replaced, nothing special, realising the future we wanted will never happen, and missing all the little things about her that made me love her. - No, not over my ex. It will get easier. And the future you pictured with her will soon have a different girl in it who you deserve and who deserves you. Jus stay strong and positive and appreciate the time on your own to realise what you deserve.
LoveNoob Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 (edited) It will get easier. And the future you pictured with her will soon have a different girl in it who you deserve and who deserves you. Jus stay strong and positive and appreciate the time on your own to realise what you deserve. You are correct. It's just that i discovered that a part of me is terrified of being alone now and being unable to find someone new. I'm 28 and going to be living alone now, no matter how often i'd go see friends etc, fact remains that i'm coming home knowing there is noone waiting for me, noone to live my life together with. Sad emo-stuff i know, but believe me, it's scary for me. I'm terrible at approaching women and only had 2 relationships, one lasting 3 months, the other 3 years. Most girls i fell in love with i never really managed to start a relationship with, for various reasons but most of them toyed with me it seems. I can talk to people easily enough if i have a reason for doing so, but pick-up lines etc are not my thing. Also i almost never go out as i find clubbing and drinking at bars utterly boring. Bowling, cart-ing or going to see are movie are more fun ways for me to go out, but the chance of meeting girls are slim, the chance of me talking to them and getting one interested in the 30 seconds i have, even slimmer. I met practically all girls i was involved with, or almost involved with, through online videogames, college classes, facebook/MSN, forums, etc. After a small talk of getting to know them a bit i'd meet them in the real world etc. I think once i'm over the loss of my girlfriend itself, that is going to be my biggest challenge, finding someone new. For some people easy, others a total nightmare. It's ironic my GF said it would be hard for me for a few months but then i would easily find someone 99% like her, because i'm special and the greatest guy in the wold, and that i'm naive in thinking i'll be alone for years to come. Easy for her to say when she has the looks and personality that allow her to just walk into a club or bar and ask who wants to be her BF/GF and she will have a few lined up.... Edited October 13, 2011 by LoveNoob
radiodarcy Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 it's been 7 months for me. for the most part, yes - - i'm over him. i know this because i have started dating again. right after being dumped i would become near hysterical at the prospect of having feelings for someone else and refused to even look at another guy. but over time my feelings for him started to lose intensity; i starting noticing other guys and i decided to give it a try. so far it's been going well. i haven't met anyone in particular. but i'm having fun meeting different people. so i take that as a good sign. for me what helped was going complete NC. out of sight out of mind. now would i be able to handle seeing him walking down the street with another girl? probably not. i think i still need a few more months before i could handle that scene. at the very least, it would probably burn for an hour or so and then i'd be over it.
CJ B-Boy Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 LoveNoob: you sound alot like myself. I don't like clubbing etc. But 9 times out of 10 clubs and bars arn't the types of places you pick up a girl who's a keeper so don't worry about that. And as for pick up lines we are in the 21st century! Women are smart they see through all that cheesy B.S so no need to worry about that either. For me what attrcts women is confidence! It's like they have a 6th sense for it. They see it straight away without you havinf to say anything. I don't think your problem is your looks or your personality it's to do with how you percieve yourself. From the sounds of things you seem like a good catch (not that i'm gay lol). But you will find it so hard to find a great girl if you carry on seeing yourself in such a negative light. Be strong, toughen up and realise you have the same chance as any other guy has at finding "miss right" it's all about confidence! Best of luck dude!
CJ B-Boy Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 but i'm having fun meeting different people. so i take that as a good sign.. That's the best thing you can do! have fun find yourself! Once you have found yourself Mr/Mrs right will find you!
TheDovic Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 No, I'm really not, but I'm a hell of a lot better than I was!!! I still think about her all day everyday, but I don't have the urge to call or see her very often. I can also see a positive future without her and am finally starting to believe there is someone better for me out there. I am also hopeful of finding this person! I was with my ex for 4 years, was engaged for 1 & 1/2 years and we had just bought a house. We have been apart for 3 months. The first month was the worst experience of my life, the second was extremely difficult, and this third month has been tough. I take solace in the fact that each month has gotten easier and easier for me, so maybe in another few months I won't think about her much at all!
SoulFinger Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Am I over my ex..no I'm not..16 months ago we broke up after living together for 4 years.In the 16 months she already had 3 full blown relationships..she just recently met number 4 about a month ago and in between that she was playing games with me saying in an email..I miss our relationship. Anyway,I soldier on thru the good and bad days but in reality I still miss and love her..now who's the fool eh lol.
SoulFinger Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Soulfinger HAve you moved on yet? I would like to say..yes to that CJ B-Boy but I guess in reality the answer is No,I havn't really.Of course there are days that I think I have but if I'm totally honest with myself then the answer has to be No.
LoveNoob Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Am I over my ex..no I'm not..16 months ago we broke up after living together for 4 years.In the 16 months she already had 3 full blown relationships..she just recently met number 4 about a month ago and in between that she was playing games with me saying in an email..I miss our relationship. Anyway,I soldier on thru the good and bad days but in reality I still miss and love her..now who's the fool eh lol. My ex-GF is 22 now and has always told me she only had 2 serious relationships, only 2 people she actually loved, me being one of them, the other being a guy she was with when she was around 16-17, but he died 8 months into the relationship. Before and after him though she's dated atleast 30 people she would consider "boyfriend/girlfriend", often the relationships would last anywhere between a week to 6 months, but none lasted longer than the 8-9 months she was with her first true love of her life. And even that pales in comparison to the 3 years in which we were together, and how a month before we broke up she said she was glad the butterflies in her stomach were gone and that our love had changed into a stable and more lasting/reliable kind of love, and that she never managed to reach that stage with anyone. Now she's dating another girl, a wild crazy clubbing one, she's been with her for 2-3 weeks now. I'm wondering if she will fall back into her routine of dating one person after the next, not staying with someone for long. Part of me kinda hopes that she will and miss what she had with me, what i will now try to give to someone more worthy.
shortee143 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Am I over my ex..no I'm not..16 months ago we broke up after living together for 4 years.In the 16 months she already had 3 full blown relationships..she just recently met number 4 about a month ago and in between that she was playing games with me saying in an email..I miss our relationship. Anyway,I soldier on thru the good and bad days but in reality I still miss and love her..now who's the fool eh lol. 4 relationships in 16 months?! talk about a serial dater! My ex was the same...he had 3 gf's in less than a yr. Now call me crazy, but that doesnt sound like a rational/healthy thing! People like that, in my opinion, dont know what they want, or how to be alone. Hang in there, I still miss/love my ex- how foolish haha.
LoveNoob Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 4 relationships in 16 months?! talk about a serial dater! My ex was the same...he had 3 gf's in less than a yr. Now call me crazy, but that doesnt sound like a rational/healthy thing! People like that, in my opinion, dont know what they want, or how to be alone. Hang in there, I still miss/love my ex- how foolish haha. My ex-GF allegedly was even worse if you noticed my previous post. And she actually admitted once how hated being alone as it made her feel crap and lowered her selfesteem. And i think she wasnt exaggerating when she said she hadnt been single for longer than a month before meeting me.
stunned8165 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Nope. Better than I was 4 months ago though. It's been really hard... I think about them everyday...... This is why...... I posted what happened yesterday and got some great input. But I'm so confused on what to do. It has been about 4 and a half months since she left. Logic tells me to stay away, move on, find someone new. But my heart is being retarded and still cares.. I want to reach out, and I don't want to reach out. But it's the kids and three years of history I have a problem letting go of. I met other woman, dated them, even slept with two. But I end up feeling worse and guilty to boot. But below is basically what happened.. And to add, the jerk she lleft me fore is a huge player. And my ex is a big improvement from the nasty women this guy has been with. He plays on all his employees in a seedy little salad and sandwich joint with a small pub in a seedy part of town. All she cared about was that place for 8 months. It seemed like she cared about that place more then our home and the kids... I dated her for three years she has two young children who just turned 4 and 5 in August. They have no dad in their lives. I am the only Dad they know. I raised them for three years like they were my own, my family adopted them in as if she was my wife and those were my children, I paid the bills when we decided to live together in my home, great area, grade a schools, did 90% of the laundry, took care of the cars, yard, helped cleaned the house and even taught the 5 year old girl how to write her name before kindergarten. The children were from two different fathers. She's 38 years old and I was very good to her.. But what does she do?.. She cheats on me with her boss. Leaves me for him. A real creep too because he's known as a player. Nice huh? Is the grass always greener on the other side?... Well, you and I both know how that will turn out. But I get so confused on how women like to be treated. The guy she left me for is a manipulative little squirt. But self esteem played a role in this I believe. All she got at home was negative energy from the kids who were starved for positive attention from her and quality time. I was the one who gave those kids quality time. All she cared about was that stupid little resteraunt she worked for and the owner. Seedy little dive in a seedy area. She moved into a house in a seedy area too. She took ten steps backwards in life. Go figure
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