OnyxSnowfall Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 No the problem is you lack empathy, are socially inept and immature. This.
january2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 I don't know. From you being too tall to women not answering questions in the way that you want them to be answered. Unless you're researching material for a male version of Sex And The City or a stand-up show, perhaps it's time to take a break from dating for a while. Either that or tighten your criteria before reaching the phone/dating stages.
florence of suburbia Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 No the problem is you lack empathy, are socially inept and immature. You asked her a completely stupid, silly, infantile, trivial question (your trivial intent being judged by your own trivial "suggested answer" to it) and--perhaps because she was giving you the benefit of the doubt and assumed you were trying to be serious-- in response she gave you a real, mature, "grown up person's" answer. She's been previously married and is embarrassed to tell new people about it because she feels that status socially stigmatizes her. Whether it does or not, her perception was serious and valid from her viewpoint. Being confronted with a mature answer to your silly-ass question confounded you and frightened you so much that you ran to the internet and started hurling school yard (and inappropriate) insults at this poor woman, who was only doing her best to answer your question in a serious way. I'll tell you what PhillyCheeseSteak--if you don't think she's good enough for you, why don't you just date one of your thousands of other available options? Excellent post.
Trimmer Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 (edited) And like I said before I was not in the mood for a serious conversation and wanted to make the discussion light and funny. Then when she says "I used to be married", you reply "Ahhhh.... about how many times, would you say?" Or any number of other ways you could contribute to keeping it light, and still remain engaged in the conversation. You claim to not want "scripted" conversation, but when it varied from the script in your head, you freaked out. A real conversation is a series of jumps - at each one you don't know where you might land next. Each person contributes jumps, and if the conversation goes well, each person will at least try to "go with" the jumps the other person offers. "We jump off cliffs and build our wings on the way down." If you end up fascinated and engaged, then you get to soar, and it's a success, and you may well end up somewhere you didn't expect at all - that's the gift of a good conversation. On the other hand, if you hit bottom in a smoking heap, then maybe you learn that you're not that compatible. So be it: that's why you try. She offered you a jump, and you didn't even take a shot at "going with it" because it didn't fit your script. Not only did you not go with it, you immediately torched the whole thing... Respectfully and seriously, I think it would serve you to ask more what this says about you, than to dwell on what it says about her. I'm pretty sure I won't be able to convince you away from your view of all this, so I won't even try. But let me try to convince you of this: if nothing else, shouldn't you be thankful that without having to invest a lot of energy and time in a number of "real" dates, you have been able to conclusively determine that the two of you would not be a compatible personality match? Isn't that what dating is about? Searching to find someone with whom you are compatible, and efficiently weeding out the ones who aren't? Isn't it a waste of time complaining about a given person's (perceived) shortcomings, when you should be thankful to have recognized the incompatibility early, which allows you to move on that much sooner? I hung up the phone and went to bed because I was stunned that a woman can be so stupid. Lol Anyone agree she proved she was a wacko? Just wondering if you have heard the answers to this question you asked in your original post... Edited October 16, 2011 by Trimmer
louise_23 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 I asked this NUT a fun type of question on the phone to get the conversation started. I asked........tell me something private about you that most people don't know? My answer was.....I listen to madonna and own DVD's of Three's company. So I figured that she would get the idea from my answer and would tell something about herself along those same lines. This weirdo says................"I used to be married" I hung up the phone and went to bed because I was stunned that a woman can be so stupid. Lol Anyone agree she proved she was a wacko? i really laughed at this. this kind of unbelievable weirdness happens to me all the time. NEVER ask that question though, the only time i asked it the guy said he liked being kicked in the balls. but seriously, you seen the truman show with jim carrey? i feel like im on it. i cant actually believe the stuff people come out with lol. and no, id never have told you i used to be married, not in that fun playful context, hell no. intense....and....slightly.....creepy....
Author PhillyDude Posted October 16, 2011 Author Posted October 16, 2011 i really laughed at this. this kind of unbelievable weirdness happens to me all the time. NEVER ask that question though, the only time i asked it the guy said he liked being kicked in the balls. but seriously, you seen the truman show with jim carrey? i feel like im on it. i cant actually believe the stuff people come out with lol. and no, id never have told you i used to be married, not in that fun playful context, hell no. intense....and....slightly.....creepy.... What was so bizarre is I figured she would tell me something about her along those lines. Instead of saying the scripted question that everyone askes.."what kind of music do you like or what TV show do you like? I came at her from a different angle and wanted to know some of her guilty pleasures as it relates to music or tv or anything. But this fool comes out of nowhere and says "I used to be married" Philly women have always been strange.
louise_23 Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 What was so bizarre is I figured she would tell me something about her along those lines. Instead of saying the scripted question that everyone askes.."what kind of music do you like or what TV show do you like? I came at her from a different angle and wanted to know some of her guilty pleasures as it relates to music or tv or anything. But this fool comes out of nowhere and says "I used to be married" Philly women have always been strange. yeah i know what you mean. you spoken to her since?
serial muse Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Plenty of time? How? You hung up on her. I doubt she would want to speak to you again. Haha, my thoughts exactly. I would think that would answer your question, too, louise_23. Hopefully she wouldn't answer if he does call.
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