Emilia Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 So I have to be serious all the time because I'm grown? You realized how stupid that sounds? No, it means 'goofy' is an immature and unfunny type of humour that really most of us don't find entertaining after childhood. I think we know from your thread who is the one that sounds stupid
silvermercy Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 I really hate it when people ask questions of this type: "Tell me something about yourself that..." It feels like an INTERVIEW!! I have trouble even NOW answering it even after thinking it for about 5 min as I was reading the thread. Not sure what the "right" answer would be! In fact, I'm not sure I can come up with anything! At least not something interesting... (maybe that my hairbrush makes me lose at least 20 hairs every time I brush my hair?? I don't know!) I prefer the other kind that's more specific: "What's your favorite food/music/film... etc"? or "what countries have you travelled to, if you have?"
Author PhillyDude Posted October 14, 2011 Author Posted October 14, 2011 I really hate it when people ask questions of this type: "Tell me something about yourself that..." It feels like an INTERVIEW!! I have trouble even NOW answering it even after thinking it for about 5 min as I was reading the thread. Not sure what the "right" answer would be! In fact, I'm not sure I can come up with anything! At least not something interesting... (maybe that my hairbrush makes me lose at least 20 hairs every time I brush my hair?? I don't know!) I prefer the other kind that's more specific: "What's your favorite food/music/film... etc"? or "what countries have you travelled to, if you have?" Those questions generate boring discussion
Author PhillyDude Posted October 14, 2011 Author Posted October 14, 2011 No, it means 'goofy' is an immature and unfunny type of humour that really most of us don't find entertaining after childhood. I think we know from your thread who is the one that sounds stupid So I can't have a silly side because I'm in my 30's. So what if I like when a female tickled my face with her toes? Does that mean I'm immature?
silvermercy Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 Those questions generate boring discussion Then you're not compatible with 99% of the female population (male, too). LOL The rest may be philosophers, quantum scientists or astronauts... (but that could be boring, too, I suppose) unless you're Indiana Jones or Lara Croft. Of course you can always stay single and have interesting conversations with yourself. So what are you going to talk about later if you think these kind of conversations (favored by most people for a reason) are boring from the very start? Life has the habit of becoming mundane fast. (And hanging up on someone like that... NO, NO and NO...)
serial muse Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 (edited) Those questions generate boring discussion ...which is still somewhat better than an antagonistic ambush. At least a boring discussion can evolve into something more interesting over time. And nobody's being a d!ck. I think it's controlling to insist that people answer questions how you want or else there's something wrong with them...and that they therefore deserve being hung up on. You have now become one of those jerky dating stories to her. Edited October 14, 2011 by serial muse
Author PhillyDude Posted October 14, 2011 Author Posted October 14, 2011 Then you're not compatible with 99% of the female population (male, too). LOL The rest may be philosophers, quantum scientists or astronauts... (but that could be boring, too, I suppose) unless you're Indiana Jones or Lara Croft. Of course you can always stay single and have interesting conversations with yourself. So what are you going to talk about later if you think these kind of conversations (favored by most people for a reason) are boring from the very start? Life has the habit of becoming mundane fast. (And hanging up on someone like that... NO, NO and NO...) I don''t like SCRIPTED QUESTIONS like.... what do you like to do for fun? What kind of music do you like? It has to be asked in a fun and creative way to make the conversation interesting like.................. what was the last song you listed to?
Stung Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 I don''t like SCRIPTED QUESTIONS like.... what do you like to do for fun? What kind of music do you like? It has to be asked in a fun and creative way to make the conversation interesting like.................. what was the last song you listed to? Well, the last song I listened to was a Wiggles rendition of "Fruit Salad," which tells you exactly nothing about my musical taste but does reveal that I have a small child. If I told you that, though, I guess it would be way too revealing and you would hang up on me and start a thread about my having breakfast foods for brains. You've already used oatmeal, I'd be happy to personify bananas sliced into yogurt for your writing purposes. Are you the same guy who posted a couple weeks ago about how unfathomably weird it was that a woman in your office asked you if you had any kids?
mid20sgirl Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 I asked this NUT a fun type of question on the phone to get the conversation started. I asked........tell me something private about you that most people don't know? My answer was.....I listen to madonna and own DVD's of Three's company. So I figured that she would get the idea from my answer and would tell something about herself along those same lines. This weirdo says................"I used to be married" I hung up the phone and went to bed because I was stunned that a woman can be so stupid. Lol Anyone agree she proved she was a wacko?Not sure I get it? It might not be the answer you were looking for, but it seems messed up to hang up on her, or to think she is wacko. She's going to think you hung up on her because of the fact that she used to be married.
Author PhillyDude Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 Well, the last song I listened to was a Wiggles rendition of "Fruit Salad," which tells you exactly nothing about my musical taste but does reveal that I have a small child. If I told you that, though, I guess it would be way too revealing and you would hang up on me and start a thread about my having breakfast foods for brains. You've already used oatmeal, I'd be happy to personify bananas sliced into yogurt for your writing purposes. Are you the same guy who posted a couple weeks ago about how unfathomably weird it was that a woman in your office asked you if you had any kids? But why not choose another song? Why choose that particular song? See what I mean? It;s about having conversation that is on the same level
Trimmer Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 But why not choose another song? Why choose that particular song? See what I mean? OMG..... here it is again: you're giving a pop quiz to see if the person gives the "right" answer. Don't be disingenuous and claim that you're trying to have a conversation! If I'm having an actual conversation with someone, I ask her something private about her that most people don't know, and she offers 'I was married once', heck, I'd be interested, and that would be a great conversation starter. I could go 5 different ways from that starting point. But you see, that's because I think I'd really be interested in hearing more about it, and what it would tell me about her. I don't think she has oatmeal for brains. Maybe she thought your "sample answer" was vapid, and she was throwing out something a little more intimate and vulnerable to see how you would respond. ... and maybe you failed her test.
silvermercy Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 (edited) But why not choose another song? Why choose that particular song? See what I mean? It;s about having conversation that is on the same level That's not on a different level, that's a million galaxies away. You're not making conversation, you're conducting an interview where the interviewee has to give the right (for you) answer. First, you ask her for the LAST song she heard and then you expect a different answer? What if she told you the truth and you still didn't like it? For example, what if she told you the last song she heard was a Nazi hymn (from a National Geographic documentary that was just playing on TV). Wait, don't tell me, you would possibly hung up on her because you'd assume she was a Nazi-sympathiser (or because of some other unfathomable reason). No? Edited October 15, 2011 by silvermercy
Author PhillyDude Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 OMG..... here it is again: you're giving a pop quiz to see if the person gives the "right" answer. Don't be disingenuous and claim that you're trying to have a conversation! If I'm having an actual conversation with someone, I ask her something private about her that most people don't know, and she offers 'I was married once', heck, I'd be interested, and that would be a great conversation starter. I could go 5 different ways from that starting point. But you see, that's because I think I'd really be interested in hearing more about it, and what it would tell me about her. I don't think she has oatmeal for brains. Maybe she thought your "sample answer" was vapid, and she was throwing out something a little more intimate and vulnerable to see how you would respond. ... and maybe you failed her test. So I guess I was supposed to follow up with how long was you married how old were you when you first got married why did the marriage end? How did your parents feel about you getting married? Would you get married again? See how that would be TOO SERIOUS in the early stages of dating
zengirl Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 So I guess I was supposed to follow up with how long was you married how old were you when you first got married why did the marriage end? How did your parents feel about you getting married? Would you get married again? See how that would be TOO SERIOUS in the early stages of dating Only the last one even verges on TOO SERIOUS in my mind. And, also, it's not a quiz, it's a conversation. You let it flow. I guess what I'd ask if that came up would be, "Wow. How long did it last?" (answer) and "What did you learn from that?" It's called getting to know the person.
Author PhillyDude Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 Only the last one even verges on TOO SERIOUS in my mind. And, also, it's not a quiz, it's a conversation. You let it flow. I guess what I'd ask if that came up would be, "Wow. How long did it last?" (answer) and "What did you learn from that?" It's called getting to know the person.[/quote No it's called scripted and predictable phone conversation which makes me vomit. I rather save that for a face to face meeting
zengirl Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 No it's called scripted and predictable phone conversation which makes me vomit. I rather save that for a face to face meeting Scripted and predictable? You're the one who wants to dictate her kind of answers! How is it scripted and predictable to flow with the answers the person actually gives?
The Tiger Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Are you trolling? You won't ask certain questions because they're not appropriate at your stage in the relationship, but you will hang up on her? If she really is that dumb then why are you still talking about her for going on 5 pages of thread? Just forget about her if she's beneath you intellectually, or man up and apologize for acting like an a-hole.
Pompom Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 (edited) I love being declared wacko for having an odd sense of humor or showing nervousness. That being said, there was nothing wrong with HER. Edited October 15, 2011 by Pompom
Stung Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 But why not choose another song? Why choose that particular song? See what I mean? It;s about having conversation that is on the same level Because, much like the woman in your opening post, I would be answering the ACTUAL QUESTION you asked. Some people prefer these kind of questions because they can randomly reveal either light quirks or deeper truths, some people consider that part of the game. Perhaps, if I were dating, I would consider it wise to reveal the fact that I had a small child up front, rather than get to know somebody only to find out later he despises children, hmm? Or perhaps, since that really was the last song I listened to, I just wanted to answer honestly rather than cast about searching for the "perfect" answer in my memory banks, with a long awkward pause on the phone. Yesterday I also listened to some of my own music, but I didn't keep a catalogue in my head as to what order I listened to the various songs in just in case someone asked . The only one trying to script these conversations is YOU. It's rather fascinating that you just. can't. see it.
Stung Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 OMG..... here it is again: you're giving a pop quiz to see if the person gives the "right" answer. Don't be disingenuous and claim that you're trying to have a conversation! If I'm having an actual conversation with someone, I ask her something private about her that most people don't know, and she offers 'I was married once', heck, I'd be interested, and that would be a great conversation starter. I could go 5 different ways from that starting point. But you see, that's because I think I'd really be interested in hearing more about it, and what it would tell me about her. I don't think she has oatmeal for brains. Maybe she thought your "sample answer" was vapid, and she was throwing out something a little more intimate and vulnerable to see how you would respond. ... and maybe you failed her test. The marks of a great conversationalist. If we were both single, I'd be all over it. Scripted and predictable? You're the one who wants to dictate her kind of answers! How is it scripted and predictable to flow with the answers the person actually gives? Agreed. Exactly the words I was casting about for--the conversational "flow".
AHardDaysNight Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 I agree with Trimmer. If a girl said she had been married before, I'd have lots of questions. I wouldn't want to not know the answers to those questions.
Author PhillyDude Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 I agree with Trimmer. If a girl said she had been married before, I'd have lots of questions. I wouldn't want to not know the answers to those questions. I never said I didn't want to hear about it, just not on the phone and rather talk about it face to face
Author PhillyDude Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 No the problem is you lack empathy, are socially inept and immature. You asked her a completely stupid, silly, infantile, trivial question (your trivial intent being judged by your own trivial "suggested answer" to it) and--perhaps because she was giving you the benefit of the doubt and assumed you were trying to be serious-- in response she gave you a real, mature, "grown up person's" answer. She's been previously married and is embarrassed to tell new people about it because she feels that status socially stigmatizes her. Whether it does or not, her perception was serious and valid from her viewpoint. Being confronted with a mature answer to your silly-ass question confounded you and frightened you so much that you ran to the internet and started hurling school yard (and inappropriate) insults at this poor woman, who was only doing her best to answer your question in a serious way. I'll tell you what PhillyCheeseSteak--if you don't think she's good enough for you, why don't you just date one of your thousands of other available options? And like I said before I was not in the mood for a serious conversation and wanted to make the discussion light and funny. It's plenty of time for that type of conversation.
anne1707 Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 And like I said before I was not in the mood for a serious conversation and wanted to make the discussion light and funny. It's plenty of time for that type of conversation. Plenty of time? How? You hung up on her. I doubt she would want to speak to you again.
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