LSgirl Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 I've been with my bf for 9 months (me 26, him 27). He was with a girl for 8 years and engaged but cheated on him. We are taking things slow and I am happy to have him in my life. He's a very independent, loyal, humanitarian, trustworthy guy, but not very open with his emotions. A couple times of times he has talked about his future, he has brought up that he wants strong kids (not physically and not anytime soon) and doesn't want to be with someone who is weak. By this he means, one day he wants to visit or live in the Honduras and be able to grow his own food and take care of his family and have kids that can be able to learn all this and not sit around watching tv all day. I think that is a cool thing, but not something I've ever grown up doing. I live in a condo in the city and barely know how to cook! lol I can tell he also doesn't want someone who is emotionally weak (although he is not the perfect strong bf, he has many issues from his past he currently deals with) but I think for him to see me as someone more longterm, I want to be stronger for him and for myself. I used to be the clingy/insecure type with old relationships, but I was single for years before I met him and had a lot of growing to do and now I try to care of myself and try not to depend on someone else to make me happy. He also said that I'm sheltered (not in a mean way) because I use the air condition all day and that he knows I don't like hiking/camping bc of mosquitoes which is all true, I'm not an active/outgoing person at all, but he just does that once in awhile. I know I can't just up and start hiking and trying to grow my own vegetables in my condo, but I want him to think I can take care of myself too. He likes that I have my own place and work full-time, but I want to be more emotionally strong and not let him think I NEED him. I am growing everyday with him, he teaches me many things, and I want him to see that I can be that person too. I can't pretend I like hiking and what not, but that I could be a good parent one day too (none of us have made any long term commitments to each other, but I do love him and I'm being patient) Are there other ways to show him I can be strong (without turning off the A/C and trying to surprise him with a hike lol) Maybe there's something I'm missing? I portray myself more confident than I really am, so I AM trying
Emilia Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 You mention he only does something outdoorsy once in a while. Does this mean he is a talker, not a doer? The odds on him being able to live in Honduras are pretty slim so I wouldn't worry about that. Has he been outside of your home country? Has he been to a developing country? Does he have a passport?
Author LSgirl Posted October 13, 2011 Author Posted October 13, 2011 He has been to the Honduras before with his mom. He used to be a lifeguard so he was always on the beach, he surfs, hikes with his friends, but he works full-time so he doesn't go hiking everyday or anything. He does like to jump off cliffs into the ocean and just other things I would never find myself doing lol Maybe I should challenge myself and be more daring, I probably won't jump off any cliffs, but I don't want him to think I lead some sheltered life. I've traveled to other countries, too and even speak another language. I guess lifestyle wise, he would IDEALLY love to be outdoors, he wants to get a boat and sail around the world. Of course, he has lots of dreams, but they all seem to go into the same direction. I think I'm open to try new things and show him I'm not scared. I also don't want to come off emotionally weak either, I need to be strong! just don't know how to go about doing it the right way
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