sweetypielovely Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 Well ex BF stated he was gonna call last night at 9. He never did. I waited till 9:45 and then sent him pretty much everything i wanted to say in a few texts. He was ignoring me and cruel. I never even got a happy b day text Monday. He yelled and said many choice things last week on the phone to me and never did i raise my voice to him once. Well last night i texted some things that were not so nice. I needed to release. He claimed he was with his kids and they were up late so he was late. Like he couldnt text that? He texted back "Wow really? Tell me how you really feel. I was going to call you but i had to get the kids to bed so much for talking then." He wanted to know if what i said was how i really felt. He said "I suppose you think im doing good? Well im not. You dont say **** like that out of anger unless you mean it. How did you think id take that?" He said he wanted to remain friends. I told him i wont remain friends as a consolation prize. He said im the one pushing him away with everything ive been texting him...but he deserved what I said. He has been an *********. He said im saying hateful things so why would he wanna stay? He ended by saying that he will be friends but nothing more at this point. He was so mean to me but cant handle texts i sent? I think its funny. I wont stay friends after everything we planned and were gonna do. I asked him if he was still in love with me. He wouldnt answer and then said yes.
vsmini Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 I would suggest reading www.baggagereclaim.com - her latest post talks about people who contact their ex's on birthdays and such. He's your ex - and he's right - you are pushing him away with text messages that talk about how angry you are with him. You guys have broken up. You said he was cruel for not responding, were you not also cruel with what you sent? You're texting to boot - that's passive aggressive communication at it's worst. You need to cut contact with him because you're just making it worse for yourself and pushing him away even more. He said im the one pushing him away with everything ive been texting him...but he deserved what I said. He has been an *********. Well that's the thing - he's your ex. You don't deserve anything from him and he doesn't deserve anything from you.
M2155 Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 I don't think he was going to call. I think you will look back and see this conversation did not make you feel better or change anything in the long run, it allowed him to make you the bad guy (or at least for him to feel that way). It's too late to change anything now though, just go NC. The best thing you can do is to become much better off without him.
Author sweetypielovely Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 He stated that i could text if i wanted to and he seems to keep blaming me. Hes done a lot of hurtful things and thinks being just friends is fine. Im still just emotional.
vsmini Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 He stated that i could text if i wanted to and he seems to keep blaming me. Hes done a lot of hurtful things and thinks being just friends is fine. Im still just emotional. I'm sorry you're going through this but it's good that you recognize that he does hurtful things and he blames you. From now on if you try to be friends with him and contact him then you're the one at fault. You know he's bad and if you continue to contact him then you have nobody to blame but yourself. Sorry honey - tough love but I wish I would have listened to this advice last year.
Author sweetypielovely Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 Well im really not a mean person. I did say a lot of horrible things and he didnt like it. Kinda like well when you mess with the bull you get the horns. However, i dont stay friends with ex's. We just broke up Friday.
TheDovic Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 He's such a coward and a hypocrite! He knew you'd be waiting but chose to let you wait. Plus why should it be ok for him to be angry with you when you can't do the same? What a self involved loser he really is
vsmini Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 Well im really not a mean person. I did say a lot of horrible things and he didnt like it. Kinda like well when you mess with the bull you get the horns. However, i dont stay friends with ex's. We just broke up Friday. Either way - even if you aren't a mean person at your core (and very few people are) it's best to not engage. He'll only remember the mean things you said and it sucks being known as the "crazy ex." Not to mention that when we get nasty with our ex's it just reinforces (in their minds) that they were right to break up with us in the first place. It sucks.
Author sweetypielovely Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 I know. But man he deserved what i said. He kept asking if i meant what i said. I didnt answer and dodged those texts. But he yelled at me horribly last week and kept hanging up on. He thought that was okay. I couldnt get him to be nice at all. Then he broke up with me friday and i was supposed to be happy? Im more dumbfounded hes blaming me when he knows hes been ignoring me and that would make me angry. I did call a truce with him so i look at least like im not a huge bitch.Im just confused as to why he cant forget what i said but he said stuff to me too. I feel used and lied to with everything he promised and said.
vsmini Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 I know. But man he deserved what i said. He kept asking if i meant what i said. I didnt answer and dodged those texts. But he yelled at me horribly last week and kept hanging up on. He thought that was okay. I couldnt get him to be nice at all. Then he broke up with me friday and i was supposed to be happy? Im more dumbfounded hes blaming me when he knows hes been ignoring me and that would make me angry. I did call a truce with him so i look at least like im not a huge bitch.Im just confused as to why he cant forget what i said but he said stuff to me too. I feel used and lied to with everything he promised and said. No contact. It will make you look like the kind of girl that doesn't put up with his BS. He'll get the message clearly after you've been ignoring him for months on end. Be strong. Change your number and keep yourself away from texting him. No matter what you do or say - you can't get him to understand what a jerk he is being. You cannot control what he thinks, feels or does with your text messages, words of anger or anything else. You can control you.
SoulFinger Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 He is very selfish of course.Now do what you told him..no friends and go No contact.It won't be easy but try and stay strong.
Author sweetypielovely Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 oh we texted this morning and he was saying that at this point hhe wanted friendship only. But then got mad when i said i didnt want that. Too hard. Then i said some mean things and he said well why would i want you back after what you just texted. Your pushing me away.
redblack66 Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 oh we texted this morning and he was saying that at this point hhe wanted friendship only. But then got mad when i said i didnt want that. Too hard. Then i said some mean things and he said well why would i want you back after what you just texted. Your pushing me away. You know how you disarm them: you agree, don't say anything. Just say "I understand, you are right" Make sense?
M2155 Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 If you remember yesterday we suggested to avoid the conversation or to bow out by accepting gracefully... Now you're left not understanding instead of him. I'm sure you wanted to express frustrations and felt that he did "deserve" the meaning behind your words, but his mentality is to look for reasons to validate his decision to break up. You gave him ammunition. It doesn't matter what happened last week, it's about the now. You can't be friends and I doubt his intention is to be real friends right now anyway, it's impossible. It's just the right thing to say. Definitely leave it alone until you are over him if you want to be friends in the future.
Author sweetypielovely Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 i know....i should have just said well do what you want then...
Marianis Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 wow! .. that happened to me too.. but he said a friend lost a dog and he has to help him look for the dog alllllllllllllllllllllllll day long!! hahahahaha bulllll****!! hahaha just escuses and pretexts :S not cool dont fall from that!!
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