FitChick Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 You have to know what made you split up in the first place, then change it.
joseph17 Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 If you can't be you around that person then maybe it wasn't meant to be. Think about the pros and cons of your relationship and is it really worth the effort to get your ex back. Was the time you shared real or something you can see yourself doing the rest of your life.If not then keep looking you'll find someone.
Author purplepanda Posted October 14, 2011 Author Posted October 14, 2011 Hmmmm...it's all so confused. O.o
Pasttense Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 purplepanda: Is there a specific situation in mind where this happened to you? If so, tell us what happened. It really depends on the specific reasons. If you split because the other person was physically abusive, an alcoholic or a drug user, but now promises to change his/her behavior I think you should be extremely hesitant to get back together. These type people often make all kinds of promises--but usually don't keep them. If you split because the other person had a one-night-stand with someone (a one-time occurrence, not a regular pattern), you might be more forgiving.
Author purplepanda Posted October 14, 2011 Author Posted October 14, 2011 purplepanda: Is there a specific situation in mind where this happened to you? If so, tell us what happened. It really depends on the specific reasons. If you split because the other person was physically abusive, an alcoholic or a drug user, but now promises to change his/her behavior I think you should be extremely hesitant to get back together. These type people often make all kinds of promises--but usually don't keep them. If you split because the other person had a one-night-stand with someone (a one-time occurrence, not a regular pattern), you might be more forgiving. Well he pretty much broke up with me out of the blue. D: He says he was an idiot and he doesn't know why he broke up with me...other than he's an idiot. I always feel insecure about him having sooo many girl friends. :/ And that he pretty much always dates younger than him, except me, we're the same age, only 7 months apart. There were several times he was a jerk, but that was always after we broke up or when he was breaking up with me. And I always had something bitchy to say right back, so I can't blame him for that.
thatone Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 so you have to tell him that you're not comfortable with him hanging around with younger women all the time, and ask him if he really knows what he wants, then judge his response (both actions and words). tell him point blank that he can't be with you and keep younger women on the side at the same time, and if he wants to change all that he has to show you.
Xefyr Posted October 14, 2011 Posted October 14, 2011 Usually not a good idea to get back with an ex. Whatever the reasons you broke up in the first place, chances are they'll still be there should you get back together. And the more you try and force change on your partner, or vice versa, the more emotionally distant the two of you'll become. I do understand the need to rekindle relationships to try things over again for some sense of closure tho, so just go with what your gut tells you. Just remember, there're so many more fish in the sea than there even is water these days, so you'll assuredly be alright either way
Author purplepanda Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 so you have to tell him that you're not comfortable with him hanging around with younger women all the time, and ask him if he really knows what he wants, then judge his response (both actions and words). tell him point blank that he can't be with you and keep younger women on the side at the same time, and if he wants to change all that he has to show you. That sounds about right.
Author purplepanda Posted October 17, 2011 Author Posted October 17, 2011 Usually not a good idea to get back with an ex. Whatever the reasons you broke up in the first place, chances are they'll still be there should you get back together. And the more you try and force change on your partner, or vice versa, the more emotionally distant the two of you'll become. I do understand the need to rekindle relationships to try things over again for some sense of closure tho, so just go with what your gut tells you. Just remember, there're so many more fish in the sea than there even is water these days, so you'll assuredly be alright either way Thank you
HeavenOrHell Posted October 17, 2011 Posted October 17, 2011 Depends on the reason/s for breaking up, if nothing has changed for the better then it won't work out a 2nd time around. If you want to change someone in ways they can't or don't want to change, it won't work. If you've both recognised and acknowledged what the problems were/are and are willing to work on them, then there's hope. Do you feel deep down that it could work this time?
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