loveburden Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 my and ex and i broke up two months ago. i took the break up hard and i tried to get him back for the first few weeks but he did not want me and ignored me for a month. however two weeks ago he got in contact with me and now i am totally confused. during the time of no contact i began to go out again and have fun - i hav found myself again and regained my confidence. i also had a fling with a someone i met a few months ago, he really helped me to loose the want for my ex. however since my ex and i have been back in contact, the feelings i had for him are starting to resurface and it is starting to take its toll. i feel like i am fighting to hide my feelings for my ex. - i mean the relationship ended for a reason so why would anything change. but its hard because theres so much history and good times, its hard to say goodbye. this afternoon i rang him to tell him that i did not want him in my life and that i wanted him to move on but as soon as i heard his voice i could not bring myself to do it, i realised that i really do love him. but i don't want to tell him how i really feel as i don't want to get hurt again. my ex says that he loves me and wants to see me exel at uni but is scared to get back together with me as he cannot believe how quick i got with someone else. a part of me wants to be with him but the part does not as i also want to embrace my youth and expirence life. another thing is if we were to get back together, i would have to move back to my hometown and currently i am living a few hrs away from him. i need advice - do i say goodbye to the one i love or do i let go and move on??
mattymx Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 I think you only get one shot sometimes, I would regret not doing anything about the one you love....you may look back in a few years and regret not trying again
fetish1980 Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 loveburden, i think we may need just a little more background here. Why did the relationsihip end? Was it behind cheating? Selfishness? Taking the other for granted? G.I.G.S? One shot is one shot. I have to tell myself this all the time, you have to look out for yourself. If i ever decided to get back with my ex, she would have had to show some major growth and maturity. She would have to admit and take ownership of the mistakes she made during our time together. I don't see her as the type to do that, so I really don't think we'll be getting back together. Yes, i go through the guilt of not taking her back. Yes i get scared that i'll lose her forever and never hear from her again. My story above is just an example of how to analyze your relationship, personality types, and the reasons that led to your break up. If you don't see any change or "attempt" in change in the other person, it will fail again. Many on here will tell you that people never change. If they do change, it's only temporary, which is very true. fetish
mattymx Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Dont fully agree. I see people change all the time, sometimes for the better somtimes for the worse. It takes a self aware person to see changes in others. Sometimes things are meant to be, but what if all it takes to be happy is a little extra effort? there is never an easy solution to heartbreak but I believe that if you can 100% say you tried to reconcile or tried to regain happiness with someone, then there is no shame in that! that takes a strong person to do so and ppl are stronger than they think
M2155 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 (edited) but is scared to get back together with me as he cannot believe how quick i got with someone else. a part of me wants to be with him but the part does not as i also want to embrace my youth and expirence life. This part caught me. I mean you don't want part of the reason he regained interest to be because he knows you can have fun without him and is fearful because he sees he can be replaced. I don't know your whole story and can't tell you what to do. But I think you should listen to those little voices that are expressing doubts. Everytime I did not, turns out they were right. If your gut is telling you to give it a chance so you don't regret it, listen- the worst that can happen is it doesn't work. But on the other hand you were free and having fun, you only get to be young once so don't give up that freedom (at least exclusivity) for someone you're not sure about. If he is truly the love of your life I believe there is always a possiblity to reconnect down the road. Edited October 13, 2011 by M2155
StellaA Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 I am in a similar position.....my ex dumped me. He went into hospital for a couple of weeks and when he came out he decided it was over. I begged him for weeks, even met up with him but he said he couldn't be with me. 3 months later he calls to say he has had time to think and wants me back. I was starting to get myslef back together and now all my feelings have come back. I love him but is he good for me? My head tells me to be cautious but my heart says it still loves him. It would be a big gamble.......who,knows what the right answer is?
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