Monm82 Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Not every nice guy is nice, because he wants something in return. Some are just decent guys, who aren't super exciting and super confident.
daphne Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Also I forgot to add, after it was over he revealed how bitter he felt that I had dated before him. I think it was a pride thing he wanted me to be an untouched virgin and almost became angry when he thought about me having previous experience. Which was actually only two guys prior to him, but to him that was a huge number and made me a slut Sounds like a maladjusted guy. It's good that you got to see his true colors sooner rather than later. Just be glad you don't have his "nice guy" problem. It amazes me the number of douchebags that call themselves nice guys. A lot of them are just like your guy, guys with chips on their shoulders and low success rate with women.
Dust Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Sounds like a maladjusted guy. It's good that you got to see his true colors sooner rather than later. Just be glad you don't have his "nice guy" problem. It amazes me the number of douchebags that call themselves nice guys. A lot of them are just like your guy, guys with chips on their shoulders and low success rate with women. Most guys who complain non stop about being nice guys are probably women beaters and rapist.
Author nothappyjan Posted October 13, 2011 Author Posted October 13, 2011 I think the biggest problem is that people like to hide their real personalitys at first. This guy I didnt date out of pity, I thought he was a good guy and I had no way of knowing. At least I have the good sense to end my relationships as soon as the guys show red flags though. This is what scares me most about dating again, its impossible to know whether someone is genuine without time.
Dust Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 I think the biggest problem is that people like to hide their real personalitys at first. This guy I didnt date out of pity, I thought he was a good guy and I had no way of knowing. At least I have the good sense to end my relationships as soon as the guys show red flags though. This is what scares me most about dating again, its impossible to know whether someone is genuine without time. You just have to live each day one at a time. A person will have tells but you can't avoid all traps. Were you attracted to this guy in the begining. That would have been your tell that could have helped you avoid all this if you weren't.
Yamaha Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 Also I forgot to add, after it was over he revealed how bitter he felt that I had dated before him. I think it was a pride thing he wanted me to be an untouched virgin and almost became angry when he thought about me having previous experience. Which was actually only two guys prior to him, but to him that was a huge number and made me a slut So he wanted you untouched. Sounds like his problem isn't being a nice guy but a control freak as well as being very manipulative. Thanks for enlightening us on his character.
grkBoy Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 The difference between what that posters was referring to and what you did is that your actions were motivated by wanting to make someone else happy and special. It was a selfless (mostly... I'm not convinced humans can ever be COMPLETELY selfless) act of kindness and compassion. "Nice guys" on the other hand, do those same sorts of actions, but then expect something in return. That's what separates nice guys from "nice guys"... the first's actions are motivated from a place of genuine kindness and humanity, and the latter's actions are selfishly motivated. EXACTLY. In the past, I did want to be a good man, but I was always hoping she would see how good of a man I am and take a chance with me. I'm not telling guys to be jerks to women, but as I keep saying...don't be the "pal" in the hopes it will lead to more. Be the "pal" because you want to be the pal. I am pals with many women btw...but I am a wonderful man to my finance...cuz she's the top priority for me.
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