fooled once Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Stay out of it? If you want to have an A with this guy, that's your choice. But focus on your relationship with him, not his relationship with his wife. What goes on between them isn't your business. Ditto Did he initiate this reunion on Facebook? It is a bit suspicious and cliched to me that people keep reuniting with old boyfriends of eons ago via Facebook...so many stories like that here. Makes me wonder if these people are phishing And social media sure makes phishing expeditions more convenient. . Gawd, I agree. It is so cliche' and I do not understand people who think they can pick right up with someone from their LONG past and everything is 'perfect'. I guess these people don't grown and change:confused: I would NOT date a single person from my past. These people are PAST loves for a reason. I definitely am not going backwards to try to recreate something that is old. I know I am not the same person today as I was in high school or college...thank God. Pretty sad how little some people take marriage vows. Pretty pathetic how untrustworthy so many people who are married are. Pretty disgusting how some disregard others. Not just the cheater, but the cheatee..... I guess nothing stands between "her and her man" (general her). Great guy - cheats on his wife. Has no respect for the wife or the OW. Probably can't spell loyalty or trust. Yes he did He has since admitted, had had thought about me "the one who got away" so he contacted me on FB I agree totally, I have tried to get out. Several months ago I told him that he needed to do what ever it took to work out his M and I stuck to it for about a month and he sucked me back in. I have never nor will I ever ask him to leave. It's not fair to him. He has never given me any indication that he ever plans on leaving her. He has actually encouraged me to date, but I have seen jealousy come out in him when another guy shows interest in me in front of him. When we are 'just friends' in public. I know he cares for her, just because that's the kind of guy he is. He feels obligated because she is sick. He however is depressed and is drinking more and more and that worries me. Oh come on. No one 'sucked' you back in. You chose to get involved. OWN IT. Also admit that you do want him to leave and you do want a real relationship with him. He cares for his wife? Nice way to show it by playing hide the sausage with an ex girlfriend. Obligated to stay? Oh please..... he is getting needs met all over the place --- you and his wife. Poor guy, so depressed staying with that wife who is playing sick. Or is it just you that thinks she is playing sick? I mean, he takes the time to have sex with you ... he isn't all that concerned about his sick wife, right? Either embrace the affair (and accept that you will always be sharing him with his wife) or end it (and that means not getting 'sucked back in'.)
Barrsitter Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 Spanky...try as hard as you can to stay away from this situation. My story is similar (see my post "Just broke up with MM"). I just wasted 2.5 yrs of my life on my high school sweetheart who married the next girl after me and is still married to her. I made all the classic mistakes you are making (trying to help him be happier...having sex with MM...seeing a MM). It seems that leaving a MM relationship is far harder than leaving a man who is single. Not sure why that is. Maybe we women are more competitive than we believe and really want to prevail over our MM's spouse. Not sure, but seeing a MM is a fast-track to heartache (although there are some happily-ever-after stories on LS involving MM and OW getting married, so nothing is impossible). Just stay in the present and don't engage in self-delusion. I know this is horribly hard (and 18Years2Late - my heart goes out to you too)...but try to stay away from MM including giving him friendly advice. I don't want you to get hurt. Be well.
fooled once Posted October 16, 2011 Posted October 16, 2011 I have not contradicted myself he feels trapped._ while she does have a medical condition it can be treated with a healthy diet. She continues to eat all of the things that make hr condition flair up. Causing her to be in bed for days. She refuses to seek alternative treatments. She is addicted to painkillers. And you know this how? How do YOU know she is addicted to painkillers, because MM said so? It totally irritates the crap out of me when people who have no freaking idea in regards to medical issues decide they know what people are feeling and doing. As someone who has taken pain killers for 7 years for a medical condition that isn't "obvious" to a stranger, I know how and what is done to get this type of medication. And you may be confusing 'dependence' with 'addiction'. Two totally separate things. Do you know that many painkillers are what allows people to get up each and and live? Do you have any idea what it is like to live with chronic pain? Do you have any clue about this? Pain killers aren't 'easy' to get. I have a pain management doctor I see monthly and believe me, they do not just hand them out like candy. Guess you have to put down the wife since the guy you seem to be all wrapped around won't leave his wife. Maybe you should look at that as he isn't that into you. Maybe he really has no desire to be with you full time? Maybe he just enjoys the sex with you? if he really loved you, he would leave his wife, no matter what. You know I find it difficult to believe that a once successful professional woman is deliberately making herself sick and enjoying it. I also find it difficult to believe that she can collect disability payments for an illness that simply requires a better diet. It also sounds like she is taking some strong painkillers, something else doctors don't hand out to patients who just need to eat healthy. I'm assuming that you are hearing all of this from your MM. Does none of it sound strange to you? Generally people don't go from being a successful professional one day to deciding that they are going to be sick and disabled the next. Great post!
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