This back and forth is killing me!!!What do I do?

[DoubleRainbow]

This is about my colleague, same department, same project team, same age as me(40), both of us are single.Around 10 months ago, he started giving me quite obvious signals that he was interested in me; when I realized finally, I got interested in him, too, gradually; as we have similar interests, similar working style, and he seems to be a great guy(I do not have much idea about him outside of work, though). We did not say anything directly to each other,he just conveyed thru his friend,who works with us that he was interested in me,4 months ago. Soon after,just to clarify some work misunderstanding, i spoke with him, and did acknowledged what i heard from his friend and kinda showed my interest, too. after that he completely shut down on me, then left for some out-of country project for 2 months.

I was very shattered and hurting and thought he was an emotionally unavailable man,

so

thought that upon his return, i will try my best to maintain professional relation with him, nothing beyond.

But, eversince he came back, he is again giving the same signals, this re-kindled my interest in him(i really like him, may be love him). There is a lot of non-verbal communication going on,

so

much

so

that we understand each other's moods, if one looks upset, the other tries to cheer him up. But as things start getting more comfortable, he withdraws,

so

no appartent reason. If I start ignoring him, he looks sooo emotional(as if he would start crying).He is very caring toward me, as goes out of the way to help me out with things(official) and makes sure that i do not come to know about it(another colleague told me, anyway)

 

I have reached to a conclusion that his interest level in me seems to be VERY HIGH, but may be there is some reason that he is reluctant to go further and even ask me out.

I have become very emotional about him,too, I know it sounds crazy,without even have actually dated even once..(

BTW

, there is no policy in my company against dating colleagues)

 

But, I am

so

fed up with this back and forth, that i now want some clarity desperately.

I do not want to initiate conversation with him on this, as my pride comes in the way: he did totally shut down on me the first time i even mentioned about it.

What should i do...do i just start ignoring him and try to move on???

[Nexus One]

Don't play games. Be straight forward. And if you can't do it in a face to face conversation, then try writing a letter or do it via e-mail, as long as you get the message across that you like him and to find out from him if he likes you.

[thatone]

pride or potential, which do you want? pretty simple choice, make it.

[Eddie Edirol]

Put your big girl panties on and ask him out for coffee.

[WhiteChocolate]

First off, before you ask him out, get a grip on yourself.

You have a mild interest in this guy. You may even like him a bit. BUT YOU DO NOT LOVE HIM. You know almost NOTHING about this guy. And speaking as woman-to-woman (or girl-to-woman because I'm like half your age ) do NOT fancy yourself "in love" with a man who has not even begun to pursue you.

 

And since you say you are too proud to initiate conversation about this, then the next best option is to ask him out to lunch/coffee. And just have fun, make small talk, get to know him better. If sparks fly, let it grow from there.

 

If not, just forget it.

 

Oh, and don't trust your collegues too much. People love drama and intrigue and little gossip. Some of it may not be true. I don't believe anything about a guy's feelings towards me unless he says/demonstrates it himself.

[FitChick]

He probably likes you but is too smart to ever date anyone he works with. Quit your job if you like him that much.