Jade2723 Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 Hello, i am so confused right now. I have been married for 10 yrs and just found out about 2 months ago my husband had a affair. The person he had a affair with was my best friend and she has been my friend for 22 yrs. I am 32 now so we were young. My husband and i have one son that is 4. My husband says we are thur and he does not love me anymore that way. He come over every day to see our son and we talk actually pretty nice. He has done nothing to imply he wants me back and that is what bothers me. I want him back and he was the one that did the "mistake". I have changed for the better and i see what i have done. Why does he not want me back, he is not with that other woman anymore. How could i change his mind about coming back to me and show that i am a different person. I guess i must be pathetic that i want him back but he is the only man i known and love and have a great son with. Help me or straighten me out. Oh and he is not gay either, i know some might ask me that but he is not.
january2011 Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 I'm sorry to say but there's a possibility that before he had the affair, he'd already begun to check out of the marriage. The affair may even have been his exit card. Thus it doesn't matter that he is no longer with the other woman. Having said that, there is a technique called the 180 which is popular in divorce-busting circles. A search for divorce-busting via google should bring up the relevant information on how to go about it - there's also a site for divorce-busting that you might find helpful, so that you can read the journals of people who have been going through and are going through something similar. Unfortunately, you could try all the techniques in the world but there are no guarantees. If he has already checked out then he will probably not even be open to something like marriage counselling or change his mind despite any changes he sees in you. I'm sorry to say, but it may be too little too late. That is, as far as he is concerned, the marriage is over, he's moved on and divorce is the next step. In which case, you will need to play the cards that you've been dealt.
jennicathomas Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 I guess the best thing you should do is to fix yourself up be more attractive for him and show him that you are still the good housewife that he should get back in his life but just a piece of advice if he really calls it quit just accept it just come to think of it would you like to go into a marriage which is just a one sided love?
stargazer5466 Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Right about the time I lost my job, my best friend of 10 years stole my husband of 9 yrs. She also wrecked her 18 year marriage. She is a gold digger,and he makes a ton of money. It's the worst kind of betrayal. I have never felt hate like this before, and will never forgive them for the pain they have cause me and my kids (from previous marriage). They are still together a year later, while my kids and I just struggle to survive.
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