CFSLP2010 Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I'm dating a shy gentleman. In person, he just stares, smile and tell me how beautiful I am. However, he's full throttle via text, expressing his love for me, how much he misses me and the big one "I MAKE HIM FEEL ALIVE." What does that mean? I have my own interpretation, but I'm unsure.
Nexus One Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I'm dating a shy gentleman. In person, he just stares, smile and tell me how beautiful I am. However, he's full throttle via text, expressing his love for me, how much he misses me and the big one "I MAKE HIM FEEL ALIVE." What does that mean? I have my own interpretation, but I'm unsure. You give his life meaning and make him feel happy.
Author CFSLP2010 Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 Really, that's pretty serious. Thank you for your input...
MaxNoob Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 He fell in love with you, that's what makes him feel alive. This song explains it perfectly: Bjork - It's oh so quiet
mike111 Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I'm dating a shy gentleman. In person, he just stares, smile and tell me how beautiful I am. However, he's full throttle via text, expressing his love for me, how much he misses me and the big one "I MAKE HIM FEEL ALIVE." What does that mean? I have my own interpretation, but I'm unsure. Sounds to me like he's got a problem expressing his feelings about you in person. Yeah, shyness sounds about right. Have you told him about this? Maybe ask him why he can't do all that in person?
thatone Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 He fell in love with you, that's what makes him feel alive. This song explains it perfectly: Bjork - It's oh so quiet i was thinking of tool - stinkfist but to each his own
Author CFSLP2010 Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 Maxnoob, I hope that's the case because i've definiltely fallen for him . I asked him why he won't share his feelings with me in person. He says that he doesn't want to go crazy over me and become a puppy dog. His friends called him that because he was literally hanging onto his phone waiting for my call. Lol They told him to put the ****ing phone away. Rofl...poor guy! I was wondering if he had confidence issues as well. He asked me why did I want to date him when I could possibly be with any man I choose, that I was the kind of woman men fantasize about. But I beg to differ though
Author CFSLP2010 Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 On our last date, he was so quiet that I became concerned that he wasn't enjoying himself. When we parted, he gave me the oddest hug. He just held me for a long time. I thoyght it was a goodbye hug. Lol Then he just stared into my eyes, kissed me on the forehead and walked away. I was ver worried. 2 days later I receive a text from him full of emotion. . He begs me constantly to see me which is an issue because we're 2 hours away. I'm just gonna go with the flow and see how it.gies....
thatone Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 i would take a different approach, but that's up to you. i think you could be a bit more reassuring. just tell him you're on the same page, and he should relax, and be himself. if he's that bad off as you say he'll worry himself into doing stupid things to ruin it.
Author CFSLP2010 Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 i would take a different approach, but that's up to you. i think you could be a bit more reassuring. just tell him you're on the same page, and he should relax, and be himself. if he's that bad off as you say he'll worry himself into doing stupid things to ruin it. That's what I intend to do. Also, I looked up the song "stinkfist." Uh, I don't think that song is talking about falling in love, etc. LOL Ewww!
skylarkjv Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 Yeah poor guy. He's in love. Next time he expresses his emotions via text, call him and before he can get a word out tell him you feel the same. And then the next time you are together see if you coax some of his feelings out of him. Play the blush and insecure card yourself. Even if you're not. A shy guy opens up really well when the girl plays a bit insecure. Ask him what he likes most about you, etc. He'll likely just smile and shake his head, too embarrassed to utter the words, but a few coy touches and a few whispers into his ear will give him the bravery to express himself. Reassurance is key, otherwise he will go and do something stupid.
Sabian Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 As a former shy guy I agree with the reassurance advice. He is shy for a reason, because he is unsure of himself. Let him know that he's attractive, let him know that you really like him, and make sure he knows he's not blowing it. As far as acting insecure and shy yourself....maybe, but he may misinterpret that as you being disinterested or bored. You have to walk the line. Next time you see him make sure you act as excited as you can. Walk up and give him the biggest hug/kiss ever. When you're around him, grab his arm and put it over your shoulder. It needs to be blatantly obvious that you're in to him. Be aggressive enough so he feels wanted, but not enough to make him feel inferior. He may be shy, but he still wants to be the stereotypical man in the relationship. You may just have to push him there.
thatone Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 (edited) That's what I intend to do. Also, I looked up the song "stinkfist." Uh, I don't think that song is talking about falling in love, etc. LOL Ewww! haha, it's a good song because of the melody and the singer is one of the best in that genre in the past ~20 years, not really the subject matter. but that line is in the chorus, "to breathe, to feel, to know i'm alive" and that's what popped in my head. that actually is what the song is about, if you notice there's a line toward the end "something kinda sad about the way that things have come to be, desensitized to everything what became of subtlety?" the song is a criticism of how porn, popular culture, etc has turned relationships into nothing more than sexual desire and experimentation rather than love, it just presents that message in a dark way (as most Tool songs do). and yeah, if you reassure him here and there he'll probably do fine, good luck. Edited October 12, 2011 by thatone
chphan Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 I'm dating a shy gentleman. In person, he just stares, smile and tell me how beautiful I am. However, he's full throttle via text, expressing his love for me, how much he misses me and the big one "I MAKE HIM FEEL ALIVE." What does that mean? I have my own interpretation, but I'm unsure. You pretty much nail it and that he's just shy in person. He's pretty much like me. I'm shy when face to face with new people but I find it much easier to express my thoughts and emotion by writing them out. He's still the same guy that you text with. Its your job as his gf to make him feel comfortable that he can say what he said in text without being embarrass face to face with you. If you feel its too much work for you than you shouldn't be dating shy guys.
xxoo Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 i was thinking of tool - stinkfist but to each his own I was thinking NIN -- The Only Time....but that is kind of twisted He says that he doesn't want to go crazy over me and become a puppy dog. His friends called him that because he was literally hanging onto his phone waiting for my call. Lol I was likened to H's puppy dog when we were dating I was CRAZY about him! (still am ) "Feeling alive" means feeling fantastic....great....like the room has more oxygen with you in it. Good stuff!
thatone Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 My boyfriend says this to me sometimes and so did my ex before hm. I found it a bit weird at first but I think guys just tend to have somewhat more intense emotions when they're in love. Either that or he's hinting that he's a zombie/vampire. that's true to an extent. so much of the average man's day is emotionless and practical, from work and money issues to when you're gonna cut the grass and other such things. there's zero emotion tied to every day activity for men, in general. when you find a woman you click with, all of that emotional starvation tends to surface right away. that's why it's completely feasible that men get attached to women more than women get attached to men early on in relationships.
Nexus One Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 (edited) that's true to an extent. so much of the average man's day is emotionless and practical, from work and money issues to when you're gonna cut the grass and other such things. there's zero emotion tied to every day activity for men, in general. when you find a woman you click with, all of that emotional starvation tends to surface right away. that's why it's completely feasible that men get attached to women more than women get attached to men early on in relationships. I agree with that. However, there's a problem with that. One thing I used to like about women is that they allow you to drop the high testosterone hard shell behavior when you're one on one with them. My CEO for example does not allow me to do that, he'd eat me alive. He does not allow even the slightest hint of weakness. So I've kind of got used to a harsh social environment so to speak. I used to think that women allowed you to drop that kind of thing, but that's actually something many of them get attracted to and many of them also don't want you to drop it, because they think it is a turn-off if you do. The thing is, I'm human, I need to blow off steam. I need to be able to be myself, especially around an SO. And if your SO, a woman, doesn't even allow that, then you're completely emotionally barricaded as a man, then that's the end of the road right there. When it comes to THAT, men have it tough. Regarding THAT, we're confined to the space of our heads and as a man you better not show even a glimpse of a hint of being human, or some people will cut you down. Last week I heard a girl say the following about some guy who had a high ranking job yet he was a little bit insecure: "He's too intelligent, he's too civilized, they should fire him.". I felt attracted to that girl, right up to that point. In my opinion that was such a superficial opinion/remark. The position he was in needs an intelligent guy, it needs a civilized guy, not some brainless douche who's all about image. But that was her opinion and I knew where that opinion stemmed from and I knew right then and there that she would never allow a guy to flinch. So about the emotional starvation you're talking about. I can relate to that. Edited October 13, 2011 by Nexus One
thatone Posted October 13, 2011 Posted October 13, 2011 (edited) well, there are still practical thoughts. that's how men's brains work. so if you're with a woman for an extended length of time and a deal breaker surfaces even though you might very well love her at the time, you do a sort of mental preparation for the worst when you know it's going to happen. and the result of that is when the separation does happen, you can get over it pretty quickly. I agree with that. However, there's a problem with that. One thing I used to like about women is that they allow you to drop the high testosterone hard shell behavior when you're one on one with them. My CEO for example does not allow me to do that, he'd eat me alive. He does not allow even the slightest hint of weakness. So I've kind of got used to a harsh social environment so to speak. I used to think that women allowed you to drop that kind of thing, but that's actually something many of them get attracted to and many of them also don't want you to drop it, because they think it is a turn-off if you do. The thing is, I'm human, I need to blow off steam. I need to be able to be myself, especially around an SO. And if your SO, a woman, doesn't even allow that, then you're completely emotionally barricaded as a man, then that's the end of the road right there. When it comes to THAT, men have it tough. Regarding THAT, we're confined to the space of our heads and as a man you better not show even a glimpse of a hint of being human, or some people will cut you down. Last week I heard a girl say the following about some guy who had a high ranking job yet he was a little bit insecure: "He's too intelligent, he's too civilized, they should fire him.". I felt attracted to that girl, right up to that point. In my opinion that was such a superficial opinion/remark. The position he was in needs an intelligent guy, it needs a civilized guy, not some brainless douche who's all about image. But that was her opinion and I knew where that opinion stemmed from and I knew right then and there that she would never allow a guy to flinch. So about the emotional starvation you're talking about. I can relate to that. yeah, i agree with all of that too. i don't really hold much back, tell women what i think of them early on, but if there's even a hint of the woman in question taking advantage of that or being unreceptive to it, for whatever reason, i'm gonna take that away and just go through the motions until she shows me something in return. Edited October 13, 2011 by thatone
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