How do I tell her to leave me alone?

[GymRat]

Hey everyone!

 

So I won't go into much detail about my break up (you can read my old posts if you so care to), but I'm back at school and so is my ex and I see her on a somewhat regular basis. Basically, she was the dumper, and I'm the dumpee.

 

We spent the summer apart working in different cities, and she broke up with me before I moved away. Over the summer, she met a new guy and 'fell madly in love with him', could imagine being with him forever, and so on.

 

I went NC almost all summer, never once begged her back, didn't even mention our relationship (we dated for two years) but she did break NC by sending me texts about once every two weeks or an email or facebook message, asking how I am and so on. I replied to these messages, but kept the replies short and without emotion. It was so hard to do this, but I knew this was the best way to go about it, and I stuck to it.

 

So we're back at school, and the problem is, we have a class together and she's the president of this club, and I'm the vice-president (we decided on this before we broke up obviously, and I didn't want to forfeit my affiliation with the club because of the break-up). I wish I didn't have to see her, but it's unavoidable. I never contact her outside of run-ins, and duties relevant to our club, and have partied with her once and we got along very well. But the problem is, I don't want to have a friendship with her, I'm not ready for it but I don't want to be awkward and ignore her when I see her.

 

In the past week, she's been messaging me more frequently. First she asked me for a copy of my thesis so she could look over some of the techniques I used to help her for her thesis. Then the next day she commented on a CD I made for her before the summer and told me she loved it, and that her dad was hoarding it from her. And then today she offered me this winter maintenance package for my car she won at our formal last spring. I appreciate her sudden kindness, but I just want to move on and it's hard when she's being so nice and she's always in my life like this. Clearly I'm still not over her, but I know she's still with the guy she 'fell head over heels' for, and I feel so much better when we're not in contact.

 

Can I straight up tell her that I don't want to be friends? I'm only being nice back because I don't want us to have an awkward relationship, which we have to maintain to some extent for the sake of our club and to limit awkwardness in the classroom. I want to just remove her from facebook and delete her BBM so I wouldn't have to be updated with the happenings in her life outside of what I see during run ins and meetings.

 

I would appreciate any sort of advice!

[wilsonx]

Its simple, block her from facebook, remove her from bbm and tell her to her face

 

"I have decided that we can not be friends. I would appreciate it if you would stop contacting me"

 

And that's it if she argues with you state it again. If she continues to argue walk away

[radiodarcy]

I appreciate her sudden kindness, but I just want to move on and it's hard when she's being so nice and she's always in my life like this. Clearly I'm still not over her, but I know she's still with the guy she 'fell head over heels' for, and I feel so much better when we're not in contact.

 

i would honestly tell her what's quoted above.

 

i mean - - it's nice of her to do all those things for you but the reality of the situation is you're still hurting after the break up and she needs to respect that and give you room to heal.

 

so to answer your question: yes, it's fine to tell her you don't want to be friends with her anymore. hopefully she'll understand and if the doesn't -- tough, this is about you not her.

[geegirl]

I agree with Darcy. Seems like both of you are civil to each other and seeing that you both have to interact, I would say exactly what you said and then block her. If she respects and cares for your feelings, she will comply.