skylarkjv Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I met this girl dancing, and when I would see her I would ask her to dance, or she would ask me to dance. I was always respectful and never made a move. But a few weeks ago I was hanging out with some friends at the dancehall and she saw me there evidently. So she went out of her way to find me and ask me to dance. I got this feeling that there could possibly be something there. But she was there with another guy. So I went home that night kind of let down, because I could have swore there was some spark there. So I went on craigslist to post a missed connections for her, when I saw an ad for a w4m. Poster was the same age as the girl, looking for someone kind of country. I thought what the hell, could be her, so I responded and sent a pic. Sure enough it was her. (She ended up reassuring me that the guy she had been there with was a first date whom she was not interested in at all). We started e-mailing, planning on getting together that weekend. About an hour before we were going to have dinner (technically the first date), she tells me she couldn't make it. Her dad got rushed to the hospital. He lives in New Hampshire, and she was on the first plane headed east. She was there for a week or so, the whole time we were texting. A lot. She got back last week, we went out to lunch. Then we went dancing Friday and Saturday. She was putting the moves on me, having me hold her by the hips rather than traditional pose. Flirtatious banter back and forth. I introduced her to my friends, and when they asked if she was my girlfriend she told them that they were on the right track. (I was hesitant to make claim to any relationship status this early in). When Saturday night ended, we talked about getting together sometime during the week for lunch. Sunday morning she texts me, wanted to know what I was doing. I wasn't up to anything, so we went to the movies. The whole time, my arm is around her shoulder, she's cuddled into me, drawing her fingers on my leg, squeezing my thigh, we're holding hands, etc. We go get some food at the mall after the movie, hold hands, cheesey ****, perfume shopping at Victoria's Secret, etc. We each head our separate ways, because her kids would be home soon, and I had some stuff to take care of. Later on that night, she wants to hang out, so we meet up at Wal-Mart, because its the only place open by then. Flirtatious banter, more PDA, etc. By now I am thoroughly confused. Because I am fully aware that she is recently out of a long-term relationship. And she had previously told me that she was wanting to take things slow and find friends to hang out with, and let it evolve from there. But her actions I'm interpreting as she wants to be with me. I asked her yesterday what she was looking for between us, just to be certain I wasn't misreading too far into anything. She told me again that she is looking to take things slow as she's still too damaged to commit to a relationship. But all of this physical and flirtatious banter, as well as telling my friends that they were on the right track when they assumed she was my new girlfriend...my brain is spinning.
Author skylarkjv Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 I guess I should also add that she often e-mails me with random pictures of herself. Nothing sexual, just pics of her eyes or her just goofing with her camera phone. Last night she sent one of her with no makeup on. Please tell me I'm not losing my mind here! lol
darkmoon Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 she likes you or she'd leave, taking it slow is ok, i think she's a bit mixed up, don't let your head reel, she'll unmix over time - she sounds so much like me and how i am with boyfs - now and again not even happy inside but knowing that the man that puts up with mixed-up me and my signals is surely one that likes me alot....well, that's my dealbreaker...that boyf is there for me bigtime, mixed-up/screwed up me gets to realize i am his favourite and finally i have the saftey i need stay as sweet as you are
Author skylarkjv Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 she likes you or she'd leave, taking it slow is ok, i think she's a bit mixed up, don't let your head reel, she'll unmix over time - she sounds so much like me and how i am with boyfs - now and again not even happy inside but knowing that the man that puts up with mixed-up me and my signals is surely one that likes me alot....well, that's my dealbreaker...that boyf is there for me bigtime, mixed-up/screwed up me gets to realize i am his favourite and finally i have the saftey i need stay as sweet as you are Thanks darkmoon. That helps a bit. I'm very understanding about the rocky breakup of her last relationship, even though I'm in the dark as to how it went down. I get it, she's scared and nervous and unsure and not willing to trust anybody just yet. Time heals all wounds though I guess. I have a feeling this will be a bit of acting like a couple without her acknowledging verbally that it is what it looks like. And if that's how you are with your boyfriends, just keep in mind that we like a little reassurance once in a while. A few words to assuage our fears goes a loooooooong way.
darkmoon Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 (edited) tbh nobody matched the one boyf who put up with the mixed signals, but yes, i do show enthusiasm, but unless i turn out to be the favourite, then any offers of attachments just get a no. i even knew he fooled around, he ran a nightclub and had guilty eyes sometimes - but i was the favourite. looking back, i see he too could tell what i was thinking by my facial expression things were never dull and i loook back on that boyf as a story of being lucky in love. we ran out of things to say after twenty-five years, so it fizzled out. i never lived with him, too incompatible in day-to-day lifestyles, but he was always there. i have a quiet older man now, as i am old/ish. i won't be back to this thread, got to work. ask her what she likes about you if you want some reassurance, my twenty-five year relationship just fell contingent on his great salad-making sometimes, but he remained my rock Edited October 11, 2011 by darkmoon
darkmoon Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 ps i know i wrote a long reply but didn't want to over-simplify my two cents
Author skylarkjv Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 Well a bit of an update to this. I think I just got dumped. We were out at the dancehall, and she was supposed to meet me. She brings some guy in she just met this evening. We were dancing, and I put my hands on her hips, and she took them off. This is something I've done countless times before with her always egging me on. She treated me as if I was just some shadow that was there, talking in his ear, etc. Slap in the ****ing face.
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