Im having a really hard time.. Im trying to do the right thing but i am resentful.

[momto3boys]

Some of you may know my story, my husband told me almost a month and a half ago that he wanted a divorce. I was 8 months pregnant at the time. He wanted me to move. I stayed at our house for 2 weeks and made him stay somewhere else. We had a bad split up before i left. A lot of mean things were said (on both ends) and some other things happened. I finally ended up moving 6 hours away from him back at my moms house. That weekend i moved back home he was up here (our home state, he's military station 2 states away) and didnt tell me he was coming up. We fought the whole time he was up, he took our son the whole time he was up here (except one day when he went to a wedding and got trashed). Anyways, he left and i went NC (our son is old enough to talk, so if he did call i gave the phone to my son and then hung up as soon as they were done talking). After a week with NC he started acting like he missed me and possibly wanting to get back together. The minute i started contacting him again and wanting to work things out (thinking we would because of how he was acting) then he'd be distant with me. He has been doing that (questioning if im dating, had sex, etc) and i ended up finally telling him if he didnt wanna be with me he had to stay out of my personal life. I also told him i was no longer in love with him anymore, because of how horrible he has been treating me.

 

So i said i didnt love him on oct 5th, ever since then he has been mean and distant with me. He doesnt call anymore at all (not even to talk to our son) he has done nothing but gone out and partying and hanging out with his friends. So recently he is not in the picture at all. I am now due in a few weeks and i was going to get induced so he could be there during the labor but the more ive thought about it the more i do not want him there. I emailed him last night after not talking to him for days to give him my moms address to send me a child support check. He emailed me back and said "so you're really not going to get induced so i can be there?". Then i emailed him back asking him why he wanted to even be there. He has of course not emailed me back. He ignores my calls, emails, etc. Why would he even wanna be in the delivery room? i understand its his kid too but delivery is about me not him.I of course would call him after i had the baby so he could come up and he is coming up during thanksgiving and will see the baby a few times while up here. He has been horrible to me this past year and even more so the past 2 months and now he's not involved at all. He hasnt talked to my oldest son who was his stepson (hes been around my son since my son was 1 and he is now 6) in over a month, he doesnt even call anymore to talk to our son. He ignores my calls, etc. So why would i want him there? It'd just be awkward because of everything he's done (gotten on dating websites a week after we split up, started talking to girls right away, etc) and now he ignores my calls. He isnt involved in the pregnancy at all, so why should he be there?

 

Im just having a really hard time deciding what i wanna do about delivery. I feel like it will be weird if he's there considering how mean he has been to me and how he isnt around anymore. It will also be awkward because of all the stuff he's done. I dont wanna be in the hospital healing from having our baby while he takes our son and i wont know where he is, if he took him home, etc. i also dont want to have to be sitting in the hospital having our son while he is up here partying. He can party down in NC while im in the hospital and i wont need to worry about him taking our son and him coming in and out whenever he pleases. I feel like if i allow him in the room he will think its ok to act how he has been acting because its not.

[Zabs]

Mom...don't justify how you feel! He is behaving like a complete cockrat and doesn't deserve to be there at the birth given that you will be THE most vulnerable you are ever again likely to be.

 

F**k him and his needs...go with yours and the best interests of your children..and IMHO, that ain't him. Let him go around like he is a dog with 2 dicks....a song just came up for me for you...young hearts run free..."You will have your babies but you have your man while he is busy loving every woman that he can" You deserve better Mom...we are here for you xxxxx

 

Zabs xxx

[momto3boys]

Thank you I am trying to do the right thing and put a side what he's done to me for our baby, but i am already gonna be a hormonal mess, i dont want to go in to delivery thinking he will change (because he wont) and getting my hopes up that he will come around (because im sure he wont). I also sorta feel like he wants to live the single life, then let him go live it. That means missing the birth. He's already pawned all the responsibilities of the kids on me. He has even told me he doesnt plan on building a relationship with this baby tl he's 2 years old. So i dont see him being in the picture.

Edited October 11, 2011 by momto3boys

[Zabs]

I know you don't know me...but there are others on here that do...let me check what TIME it is!!!!!!:mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad::mad:

 

Zabs xx

[TheDovic]

This guy doesn't want to look after the kids because he still IS one!!! He's pathetic and doesn't deserve to be called a Dad. I'm so sorry you're going through this because you seem like a lovely person.

[momto3boys]

Thanks!! I am really considering talking to a counselor about all of this sometime this week because it is driving me nuts! lol.

 

im not even sure if he's dating anyone or what. So that is also weird. i dont want him trying to bring up a girl or anything either while im in the hospital