nyckidd Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 My girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me last week. Our relationship started to get unhealthy again and she said she felt like it had to come to an end. I was pretty upset at first but new that I couldn't act desperate or "go crazy" now that she has chosen to leave. The following days she contacted me with things such as, i love and miss you, hope your having a great day, I cant help but text you I miss you so much etc. She even text me on friday saying how she loved me so much and doesn't want to do this and how extremley hard it is for her but has to because the relationship was going in circles. She initiated contact all these times. I told her that it might be best if we cut all contact (saying this because I didnt want her to keep texting me that she loved me if we werent getting back together!!). She agreed and said she hopes things will end up good and that she loves me. When I text her saturday night saying that I missed her I got nothing. After that I realized that I have to follow through with my suggestion of nc even though I wish I could talk to her. Its been 2 days now of nothing and I really miss her. I want to contact her but feel like this might be a bad move. We have gone through a simlilar situation in may and unfortunatley are going through it again. Does anyone think contacting her would be a good idea? Especially after she sent me all those texts the day after, telling me that shes been a mess and misses me so much. Or should I just remain in NC. I would love to have this girl back and dont want to quit working on our relationship (as well as myself).
R32 Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Too soon to be contacting. Take some time off from each other and realize if this relationship is what you two really want. Consider how you can improve the relationship, and reflect on your faults during your time together. Why did you guys break up the first time? How was the situation handled then? And was there a resolution? If you contact her now before thinking it through, you'll be running in circles all over again.
EgoJoe Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Nope and ignore her in the future. Until she comes with something more meaningful than terms of endearment and avoidance. Also, wait for her to be healthy. In the mean time. Move on so you can heal.
Author nyckidd Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 Too soon to be contacting. Take some time off from each other and realize if this relationship is what you two really want. Consider how you can improve the relationship, and reflect on your faults during your time together. Why did you guys break up the first time? How was the situation handled then? And was there a resolution? If you contact her now before thinking it through, you'll be running in circles all over again. We broke up the first time due to the fact that we argued constantly and I never put her first in the relationship. That time was different because she ended it and never contacted me at all afterwards. After about a week of on and off contacting I finally cut it out and just did my own thing without any contact and she text me a few weeks later. We then talked about getting back together and taking it slow and all of our problems etc. We never really took it slow because each off us were eager to get back into the relationship. It stinks now that we are in the same situation.
R32 Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 That's your problem right now. The initial issues were never resolved. The two of you couldn't bare being apart thus jumping back to what you were. In most cases it's good to spend some time apart, how can you miss something that's always there?
Space Ritual Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 We broke up the first time due to the fact that we argued constantly and I never put her first in the relationship. That time was different because she ended it and never contacted me at all afterwards. After about a week of on and off contacting I finally cut it out and just did my own thing without any contact and she text me a few weeks later. We then talked about getting back together and taking it slow and all of our problems etc. We never really took it slow because each off us were eager to get back into the relationship. It stinks now that we are in the same situation. So don't make the same mistake again... Look, all she is doing is eating cake. she is probably testing the waters with others right now and keeps you reeled in and on the backburner just in case it Doesen't work out with the new "flavor of the month". That old "not putting me first" is complete and utter bull crap.... Don't fall for being second choice again...which is what I suspect happened in reality the first time....SHE made the choice...now she has to live with that choice ...that means going NO CONTACT! To do anything else will show her you are weak and that she will be able to do this over and over. It will also affect you in any future relationships and will probably label you as a doormat or a sucker to the next chick that comes along. If you are learning to put up with this treatment now, it will only get easier for you to accept second billing later in life...DONT DO IT! Because Nice guys DO FINISH LAST!
Kamila Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 We broke up the first time due to the fact that we argued constantly and I never put her first in the relationship. That time was different because she ended it and never contacted me at all afterwards. After about a week of on and off contacting I finally cut it out and just did my own thing without any contact and she text me a few weeks later. We then talked about getting back together and taking it slow and all of our problems etc. We never really took it slow because each off us were eager to get back into the relationship. It stinks now that we are in the same situation. And do you think you didn't put her first ? I'm just asking, because that was one of the reasons i broke it off with my bf. He said it loud and clear: you are not my priority anymore. So I ran for the hills and maintained no contact. Your girl isn't doing that ... So ask yourself this question: why did she break up with you ?
Space Ritual Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I'm just asking, because that was one of the reasons i broke it off with my bf. He said it loud and clear: you are not my priority anymore. So I ran for the hills and maintained no contact. Your girl isn't doing that ... I have had that happen to me too...and I didn't wait around to have them tell me a second time. NYCKIDD....remember if someone shows you who they are...believe them
Author nyckidd Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 And do you think you didn't put her first ? I'm just asking, because that was one of the reasons i broke it off with my bf. He said it loud and clear: you are not my priority anymore. So I ran for the hills and maintained no contact. Your girl isn't doing that ... So ask yourself this question: why did she break up with you ? Yes I do think that I did not put her first, I could have made her my top priority because in reality she is that special to me. I just got side tracked with other things that really arent as important as the girl I love. So from what she has told me, she broke up with me because we were going (I was going) right back into the same old relationship that the last one turned into. Me not treating her like a #1 priority, not showing enough affection etc
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