ConfusedT Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 SO- after reading how pitiful i sounded earlier and seeing all of your responses (harsh, but honest and so in-depth), i have decided to call it quits with this man and as i have shared with you all before i dont believe in the *im not going to talk to you text or call*, i simply will stop responding to his calls or texts, because YES, actions speak far louder than words. ill show him i respect myself, ill show him i deserve better than ANYTHING he has ever given me and ill show him that even though he broke me down, i will get right back up because i might not feel it right now, but i know im worth more than this. i am worth more than ive ever got from him, ever. if i did it before, i can do it again. seriously, LS, you have been a blessing, you make it so much easier to realize what is happening, by giving me the cold, hard truth & sometimes people just really need to hear that. SO here is to NC day 2! a fresh start =). hell its almost day 3 already! thank you from the bottom of my heart, i think im finally ready to let this go..
geegirl Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Good for you Confused. What's most important is for you to find determination to show YOURSELF that you are deserving of so much more. This is not about him anymore. Come here when you feel the urge and I am sure someone will help you rationalize your way out of it. I hope find a therapist and reach out to friends and family.
Mack05 Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I'm sure your heart is in the right place ConfusedT, but are you really strong enough to resist when he comes calling? Are you strong enough to resist when he manipulates you, by pushing your right buttons? From reading your posts over the past few months. I have my doubt's to be honest. You can't just snap your fingers and become a strong person over night (It is a process). You can't just snap your fingers and rebuild self esteem. Your post comes across to me anyway as if you are kidding yourself. You need more then one positive post on LS to get yourself out of this mess. It's a start but you need to push on now. You need to put a plan together. You need to set yourself a list of short term and long term goals. Write out the plan, so that you can see your progress from becoming the person you don't want to be, to the person you do what to be. I would recommend the following.. 1) Buy the book "How to break your addiction to a person".. 2) Go to Therapy 3) Go to the gym. I realise you are a mother but getting in fantastic physical shape is the best best to self esteem that you can imagine..If you can't get to a gym try your best to eat healthy and get 30 minutes of excerise a day. Walks, home workouts like Pilates are great to keep in shape. 4) Write a diary/Plan/goals. Stick to this, don't write up a plan/goals and then forget about it. 5) Make a pact to yourself to NEVER break no contact. Think of your son. Do you want him to treat a woman they way your ex is treating you? You are his mother, you are supposed to be a role model, not an example of how NOT to treat a woman. 6) Focus even more on your personal relationships. Be the best mother/daughter/sister/friend as you can be..
Author ConfusedT Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 its the only place i can start honestly. i have to go completely 100% in or i will break. i KNOW i will break if i dont put my foot down and dont step away. it is inevitable imo if i dont start all over again from the bottom up. i know i will have my weak moments, but hell i did it before for MONTHS, so i pray i will find this internal strength to do it again!! i mean i have to, look what it is doing to me- it is ruining my emotional life and it is taking a toll of everything. he consumed me and i got to get out before its too late!!! =( i am in the right frame of mind [at this point] and i know i have to take the necessary steps. 1. i need that book obviously =( 2. i need that too. 3. i go to the gym like 3x a week and work out at home as well. not to sound conceited, but my external image isnt my issue. i love how i look, i hate how i feel inside. 4. i do need a plan 5. i hope i am not weak enough to break contact, but i have to continue being positive because i have not reached my breaking point [i dont know how], so now i have to establish my own. 6. i try to be the best i can be always, its just really hard when your emotions are spiraling out of freakin control. i think i really need to work on my emotions and my needy-ness & desperation towards this man and figure out where the issues are coming from and how they creeped on me when i never had them before?????? =X
Recommended Posts