U1987 Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I've been struggling to date for the past year or so. For a while I didn't understand why, because I had actually hooked up quite a bit when I was younger; between 2007 and 2008, I had been with more girls than before or since combined. The thing is, I remember being genuinely, personally interested in each girl as an individual. I hadn't been with many girls before so each one was fascinating; it was like each one was opening up a new world to me. Nowadays, if I see a see a young woman (18-25), I may feel physically attracted to her, but if we start talking, than more often than not I will become insanely bored out of my mind just speaking to her. It's just that I've spoken to lots of girls, and I just feel like most young girls don't have the wisdom or life-experience for me to feel genuinely interested in them, especially those in the lower end of that age spectrum; how much living have you done if you're just out of high school and entering college? Still, I TRY to act interested, but inside, I can't help but become frustrated by how tedious it is talking to her, and just hoping we have sex soon. Maybe that's why I haven't had luck recently; maybe the girls I've been meeting could sense I really wasn't interested in getting to know them personally? But how can a guy make himself to be genuinely interested in a girl as a person when all he can think of is "Wow, you're a total air-head. You're hot though" when he talks to her for the first time?
Dust Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I don’t usually have this problem with girls. Maybe your jaded? You know like that guy who created Family Guy. Why can’t you want to fck a girls brains and be entertained by the silly crap she talks about?
johnnyk Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 maybe the girls I've been meeting could sense I really wasn't interested in getting to know them personally? Maybe they think YOU'RE boring? There is an obvious disconnect between people about 5 years apart in age and more. Probably means you need to start dating around your own age.
Pasttense Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Move your interests to somewhat older women then, since the younger women lack the wisdom and life-experience.
Author U1987 Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 Why can’t you want to fck a girls brains and be entertained by the silly crap she talks about? It rarely gets to that point; either the girl drops the "commit or no sex" speech, or, as they have been more recently, flake out and disappear.
Cypress25 Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Do you think all women are air-heads? If so, you're hopeless. If not, go chat up the ones who aren't. And yes, it's pretty obvious when a guy is pretending to be interested. See, those girls are smarter than you think.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Certainly there are some boring hot girls, but if you feel this way about EVERY girl (and you've said many times that you do), you need to look at yourself. Why do you think that a girl about whom you're thinking all these insulting, negative, superior thoughts should be having sex with you? I'm asking you seriously - WHY? Just because you feel "horny"? What would be in it for her, unless she herself is desperately horny enough to have sex with a guy who she feels is boring, tedious, etc.? (And it's unlikely that ANY "hot" girl is going to be that desperately horny). I really think that you need to find enough money to hire people to have sex with you. Or, hold off on even trying to have sex with live women until / unless you actually like one.
Almond_Joy Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I've been struggling to date for the past year or so. For a while I didn't understand why, because I had actually hooked up quite a bit when I was younger; between 2007 and 2008, I had been with more girls than before or since combined. The thing is, I remember being genuinely, personally interested in each girl as an individual. I hadn't been with many girls before so each one was fascinating; it was like each one was opening up a new world to me. Nowadays, if I see a see a young woman (18-25), I may feel physically attracted to her, but if we start talking, than more often than not I will become insanely bored out of my mind just speaking to her. It's just that I've spoken to lots of girls, and I just feel like most young girls don't have the wisdom or life-experience for me to feel genuinely interested in them, especially those in the lower end of that age spectrum; how much living have you done if you're just out of high school and entering college? Still, I TRY to act interested, but inside, I can't help but become frustrated by how tedious it is talking to her, and just hoping we have sex soon. Maybe that's why I haven't had luck recently; maybe the girls I've been meeting could sense I really wasn't interested in getting to know them personally? But how can a guy make himself to be genuinely interested in a girl as a person when all he can think of is "Wow, you're a total air-head. You're hot though" when he talks to her for the first time? I'm 25, and usually attract men in their early or mid 30's. I understand your sentiment, but on the other hand.......you know it's more than likely when you start seeing a girl in that age range (18-25) that she will be lacking the wisdom and experience you find helps make an engaging personality. So, if you know that before you start dating her, I don't see why you would be bothered by realizing that you don't find women in this age range interesting. I agree with some other posters here that if you're looking for something serious, to try a higher age bracket (late 20s, early 30s).
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I agree with some other posters here that if you're looking for something serious, to try a higher age bracket (late 20s, early 30s). He's not looking for something serious. He just wants to have sex with hot girls, whom he despises.
kiss_andmakeup Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Young women who are attractive but who also possess wisdom, intellect, maturity, and a dimensional personality are usually already taken by men who are interested in more than their vagina. The common denominator here is you, OP. As Mme. said, sure, there are certainly some dull girls out there. But if all of the girls you meet fall under this category, I'd say more likely than not, it has something to do with you. I believe, from following your posts on here for a while, that you lack empathy. Unfortunately I have no idea how you can go about correcting that. See a psychologist, perhaps.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Lol, taken? Really, by who? By Sasquatch to the unicorn farm for lock ness monster rides? Sorry honey but those mythical young women you speak of only exist in terrible Hollywood romantic comedies Speaking of mythical creatures, I think our local hydra has grown yet another head.
Cypress25 Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 those mythical young women you speak of only exist in terrible Hollywood romantic comedies There are plenty of attractive women who are intelligent, mature, engaging, and otherwise fun to be around. They're just not interested in you because they have better options. If you honestly believe that there are no women with looks and personality, you need to get out more. Surely you must realize that being attractive and being intelligent are not mutually exclusive. Just think about all the millions of women who attend top-tier universities or have good jobs. Do you really think none of those women are attractive? Being beautiful doesn't make you stupid, you know.
Author U1987 Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 (edited) Certainly there are some boring hot girls, but if you feel this way about EVERY girl (and you've said many times that you do), you need to look at yourself. I don't feel like this about every girl; like a couple on here have said (and as I said a while ago) there definitely are girls who are also smart, talented, creative, worldly and just interesting, on top of being attractive. I've dated some; one of my ex-girlfriends got into a really prestigious music school to play cello, and toured with an fusion-jazz band. Another was a Lithuanian interpreter by day and stage actress by night. They legitimately were special. But that's just it; they were special (as in "not the norm"). There are extremely few high quality women in the 18-25 age bracket such as these, and as most people here have conceded, they are already taken. Why do you think that a girl about whom you're thinking all these insulting, negative, superior thoughts should be having sex with you? I'm asking you seriously - WHY? Well, I'm in shape; 29 inch waist, which I'm pretty proud of considering most people in America are overweight, and after months of working out, I'm finally starting to see the beginnings of a 6-pack (I have to flex my stomach though, it doesn't show if I relax) I dress well; I always wear form-fitting clothes of matching colors. I'm studying biomedical science, and currently assisting my professors in biochemical research. I've had to travel to scientific conferences for my major. I've traveled around the world, for study abroad and vacation. I used to play in a band and still know how to play piano and guitar. I read the Economist, New York Times, Atlantic and biomedical research journals religiously, so I'm constantly informed. I'm smart but not pretentious. I don't laugh at my jokes, don't get too personal or reveal too much of myself too soon. I've successfully quit smoking, and when I drink, I don't drink to get totally ****-faced; just buzzed at best. I thought that'd be enough for the average psych/comms major who wears sweat pants that say "Pink" in sparkly letters across the ass and likes to talk about Jersey Shore and the Kardashians, but apparently it's not. Edited October 15, 2011 by U1987
Author U1987 Posted October 15, 2011 Author Posted October 15, 2011 There are plenty of attractive women who are intelligent, mature, engaging, and otherwise fun to be around. They're just not interested in you because they have better options. If you honestly believe that there are no women with looks and personality, you need to get out more. Surely you must realize that being attractive and being intelligent are not mutually exclusive. Just think about all the millions of women who attend top-tier universities or have good jobs. Do you really think none of those women are attractive? Being beautiful doesn't make you stupid, you know. Why do you think the wealthiest men of the 19th century were steel makers, not gold miners? Because they knew you got a lot more making the most of what's plentiful and available rather than holding out and searching far and wide for what's rare and precious. That's why I don't think it's worth it to hold out for those rare, high quality women that, most likely, will already be taken or, as I've had to do on more than one occasion, compete with another guy for (not violently; these girls would invite me to hang out with them and their friends, but their friends included some guys and we would always be competing for her attention and control of the conversation) I need to make good of what's available; the girls who are cute, but unfortunately, not too interesting.
Cypress25 Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 I thought that'd be enough for the average psych/comms major who wears sweat pants that say "Pink" in sparkly letters across the ass and likes to talk about Jersey Shore and the Kardashians, but apparently it's not. Why do you even want to date those girls? Just because there's a lot of them and they're available? And you're right, that's not enough, because the things you listed are achievements, not personality traits. You're smart, talented, and physically fit. That's great, but what's your personality like? What's your conversation style? Do you have a good sense of humor? Are you fun to be around? Those are the things that are important to girls when they're dating. Your academic achievements and musical talents are not the most important things to a girl who's trying to decide if she likes you. She's not interested in your resume. I don't think it's worth it to hold out for those rare, high quality women...I need to make good of what's available; the girls who are cute, but unfortunately, not too interesting. You know, I bet there's a happy medium between high-quality women who are out of your league and women who are cute but not interesting. They're called normal women. And there's a lot of them. They're pretty but not gorgeous, smart but not brilliant, interesting but not exotic, and they have great personalities. Although you seem to be more focused on a girl's achievements and less focused on her personality, and that attitude could get you in trouble.
aklicaa Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Every girl is different. some have good nature and some not. some like that kind of life.so you can't blame all of them. date some good girls you will definitely find good one that you want.
maysj18 Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 Well, I'm in shape; 29 inch waist, which I'm pretty proud of considering most people in America are overweight, and after months of working out, I'm finally starting to see the beginnings of a 6-pack (I have to flex my stomach though, it doesn't show if I relax) I dress well; I always wear form-fitting clothes of matching colors. I'm studying biomedical science, and currently assisting my professors in biochemical research. I've had to travel to scientific conferences for my major. I've traveled around the world, for study abroad and vacation. I used to play in a band and still know how to play piano and guitar. I read the Economist, New York Times, Atlantic and biomedical research journals religiously, so I'm constantly informed. I'm smart but not pretentious. I don't laugh at my jokes, don't get too personal or reveal too much of myself too soon. I've successfully quit smoking, and when I drink, I don't drink to get totally ****-faced; just buzzed at best. I thought that'd be enough for the average psych/comms major who wears sweat pants that say "Pink" in sparkly letters across the ass and likes to talk about Jersey Shore and the Kardashians, but apparently it's not. Lolll. Not pretentious? You sound like the prime example of someone who is pretentious. As someone else said, these are not personality traits. If these are truly the things about yourself that you admire, you're very superficial and there is nothing attractive about that.
Mme. Chaucer Posted October 15, 2011 Posted October 15, 2011 I need to make good of what's available; the girls who are cute, but unfortunately, not too interesting. Why? These "uninteresting" girls aren't interested in you, either. So, no, you don't need to "make good of what's available." They aren't available, to you. Though you strangely feel you're entitled to, you're still not getting any girls to assuage your sexual needs, whether they're interesting, boring, smart, stupid, cute or ugly.
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