I'm such an ******* and I'm really sorry to everyone here

[SoSorry_Itsover]

Some of you here may have been dumped for mistakes you made.

 

A lot of you here may think "isn't that everyone"

 

There's a very large portion here, of individuals who did all the right moves; showed nothing but love, and are suffering the "true heartache"

 

I took the love I had for granted, I was selfish and I lost it, and I'm even more selfish for coming here asking for support.

 

I guess what I'm saying is karma's caught up to me. It sucks, but now I've realized this past chapter of pain is something I deserved and glad I experienced it.

 

Never again.

 

Peace n Happiness to you all. It's time I dropped the internet forums and move on.

 

I've been lurking here for quite some time, and you've all been a spectacular help. You're brave for posting your feelings here, and too be honest, some of your misfortunes have brought some relief to me.

 

I shall pay it forward, believe me

[The Poster]

I'm in the same boat as you. The guilt is really hard to live with sometimes. It was my kindness that made her fall in love with me, and I was so sweet and so good to her for so long, and then I lost myself. I don't even know what happened. Maybe I got too comfortable, I don't know. Eventually I just pushed her too far.

 

I don't think the relationship would have worked out anyway, as too much had changed between us and there were other issues. However, as someone who always takes pride in being a really good, caring person, I became something I hated.

 

And I hate myself for it. I hate myself for letting her down. But live and learn, right?

[Skydryv]

I'm in that boat too. In fact, I just poured my freekin' heart out on this page, paragraph after paragraph, only to have this website time-out on me. Serves me right for allowing myself this self pity and indulgence. Probably for the best for you readers out there...I actually apologized a couple of times in my post for all the drivel you were reading within it.

 

Anyway, I share your pain. Funny thing, I found this site because I couldn't sleep (duh) and finally, out of frustration, fired up the laptop and -cursing to myself- googled: "made dumba$$ mistake of checking her facebook page and saw her new boyfriend and it hurts like he!!." It amuses me to put long things like that in the search box just to see what happens....well, here I am.

 

Best to all.

[mike588]

I'm in the same boat as you. The guilt is really hard to live with sometimes. It was my kindness that made her fall in love with me, and I was so sweet and so good to her for so long, and then I lost myself. I don't even know what happened. Maybe I got too comfortable, I don't know. Eventually I just pushed her too far.

 

I don't think the relationship would have worked out anyway, as too much had changed between us and there were other issues. However, as someone who always takes pride in being a really good, caring person, I became something I hated.

 

And I hate myself for it. I hate myself for letting her down. But live and learn, right?

 

Don't feel to bad. I was so loving,kind, sweet from day one until the last day but still go dumped.

 

Sometimes I wish is was my fault,,,it's so difficult to lose her knowing I did my very best. What an ego blow!!

Edited October 11, 2011 by mike588

[TLCbear]

I commend all of you who reached out on here and admitted your mistakes. It lets me know that you have feelings too. I was the dumper of my last relationship and I hope he feels the same...although it would be nice to actually hear he admit it. Maybe you all should reach out some type of way and let the person you hurt know this (if you haven't already) sometimes it does better because you can let go of the guilt and move on. Good luck to all of you.

[The Poster]

I have apologized to her seemingly a million times since this all started almost 6 months ago. I know a lot of men can't admit they're wrong, but I had no problems admitting I screwed up. Somewhere I lost myself, got controlling and harsh and she just had to walk away.

 

She knows that I'm sincerely sorry for it, and I do think she still loves me but I don't blame her for her decision. The one good thing about breaking up was that it allowed me to step back and really look at what went wrong. I finally was able to see how I had changed. It's good for learning, but only makes the pain worse. But as the OP said, I deserve to feel this way right now.