nes9 Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 So this girl and I have been dating for two months and a couple weeks ago when she stayed over I had a talk with her about "making it official." We had a few dumb arguments the preceding week and her response was, "I do want to make it official, but I want to make sure we get along well enough." I'm guessing the arguments made her second guess whether she wanted to say yes at that time. Since then we've been getting along fine and that talk was about two weeks ago. How long should I wait before I bring it up again? Or should I let her bring it up this time?
bluenightowl Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 So this girl and I have been dating for two months and a couple weeks ago when she stayed over I had a talk with her about "making it official." We had a few dumb arguments the preceding week and her response was, "I do want to make it official, but I want to make sure we get along well enough." I'm guessing the arguments made her second guess whether she wanted to say yes at that time. Since then we've been getting along fine and that talk was about two weeks ago. How long should I wait before I bring it up again? Or should I let her bring it up this time? Is there a need to make official? Is she dating other guys? If not, I'm not sure why there is a need to rush it. However, if its that important to you, I'm do something nice for her, go out to dinner and gently bring it up again. Generally though if you push too much, she will start to question the relationship and why you are pushing her so much.. which generally comes from fear.. not an attractive trait. What if she says no again? Then what? Are you prepared to leave her? If not, then why bring it up at all.
WhiteChocolate Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 What if she says no again? Then what? Are you prepared to leave her? If not, then why bring it up at all. Great point! If she says no again, you better be ready to get out of her life. No woman would ever reject someone she likes and sees as long-term relationship material twice.
azsinglegal Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 It's not official until it's on Facebook. LOL J/K Seriously...if you're not seeing or sleeping with anyone else, then this shouldn't be that big of an issue. Maybe I'm just old fashioned, but once I have sex with someone, I'm only seeing THAT person. The most conversation had is, Are you seeing anyone else? No. Neither am I. And so be it.
Zidonuke Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 It's not official until it's on Facebook Someone actually said this to me when they asked me out. They tried to make me put it on facebook immediately. I asked them to wait a bit but they freaked out and said it HAD to be on facebook or else we weren't actually official. I said "Well I guess we're not in a relatonship then" And we ended up not seeing each other after that. It was just too weird to me.
WhiteChocolate Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Yeah, I keep my relationship status off Facebook. It doesn't even say I'm single. I just feel uncomfortable with hundreds of my acquaintances knowing who and how long I'm dating someone. It's prime gossip fodder. I also don't want the sympathy comments, or even worse, LIKES when a relationship ends. Maybe when I get engaged or married. But that is a long time in the future. ...thread topic hijacking successful. Mission accomplished
azsinglegal Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Someone actually said this to me when they asked me out. They tried to make me put it on facebook immediately. I asked them to wait a bit but they freaked out and said it HAD to be on facebook or else we weren't actually official. I said "Well I guess we're not in a relatonship then" And we ended up not seeing each other after that. It was just too weird to me. I won't ever change my status on FB unless I'm married. I've been seeing the same guy for 6 months and leave it as single (well I just changed it so it's not visible). Mostly because that's how my ex broke up with me. He changed his FB status to "single" and when I saw it I asked what was up and he said "check your email". I recieved the utmost horrible, rude, cruel break up email of my life from him. Only coupled with his FB status change BEFORE breaking up with me. Everyone was asking him what happened and he was airing our dirty laundry on FB to his friends before even telling me, I was in shock and horror...not doing that again.
phineas Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 anyone got some advice? Are you getting laid or is that the reason for making it official?
Author nes9 Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 Is there a need to make official? Is she dating other guys? If not, I'm not sure why there is a need to rush it. However, if its that important to you, I'm do something nice for her, go out to dinner and gently bring it up again. Generally though if you push too much, she will start to question the relationship and why you are pushing her so much.. which generally comes from fear.. not an attractive trait. What if she says no again? Then what? Are you prepared to leave her? If not, then why bring it up at all. I hadn't looked at it like that. We're both in a graduate program together so we are both quite busy. I have been hassling her to hang out quite a bit and getting frustrated when she doesn't want to and I think it has actually annoyed her and turned her off on me a bit. I suppose I should give her space and let it develop if it's going to develop. I am not prepared to leave her if she says no so I won't bring it up. Thanks for the advice!
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