TheDovic Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Not really asking for advice, I just think it might help me to write down the latest developments with my ex. So as many of you know, she had major issues with perfectionism and pretty much works every hour she is awake (much to the detriment of our relationship). I tried to discuss this with her parents immediately after the breakup but they minimised it, however they're starting to understand. So I was speaking to my ex's mum's best friend who told me their family is "mourning" my loss and are all completely devastated (which is strange because I didn't think they liked me - although I do have very low self-esteem). Apparently her mum talks about me incesently and frequently gets emotional. Her mum is also worried about her working now and said all she does is work in her room when she's not at work. She is apparently an absolute mess without me and cries all the time. She won't speak to her parents at all and gets angry with them when they ask why we broke up. (She never liked talking about her problems) On another note I got more emails and text messages over the weekend telling me all about her life and asking about mine. She asked to come and see me again but I am not responding to any of her attempts at present. That's about it folks. If you got this far, thanks for reading!
mike588 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Yep I read it all. Funny my ex.s family is mourning losing me too,, Heck they are probably more sad about it than my ex.!! That sucks. Keep up the good work!
ffw Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Not really asking for advice, I just think it might help me to write down the latest developments with my ex. So as many of you know, she had major issues with perfectionism and pretty much works every hour she is awake (much to the detriment of our relationship). I tried to discuss this with her parents immediately after the breakup but they minimised it, however they're starting to understand. So I was speaking to my ex's mum's best friend who told me their family is "mourning" my loss and are all completely devastated (which is strange because I didn't think they liked me - although I do have very low self-esteem). Apparently her mum talks about me incesently and frequently gets emotional. Her mum is also worried about her working now and said all she does is work in her room when she's not at work. She is apparently an absolute mess without me and cries all the time. She won't speak to her parents at all and gets angry with them when they ask why we broke up. (She never liked talking about her problems) On another note I got more emails and text messages over the weekend telling me all about her life and asking about mine. She asked to come and see me again but I am not responding to any of her attempts at present. That's about it folks. If you got this far, thanks for reading! Good to know ball is in your court. What are you thinking to do next?
EgoJoe Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I still think you would do well to set a boundary here.
Author TheDovic Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 Good to know ball is in your court. What are you thinking to do next? I have NO IDEA dude, so I'm focussing on me. My life up until this point has always been about what I can do for everyone else, so now I'm being selfish (not in a hurtful way) by looking after number one. If the answer comes to me in the meantime, then great, if not, then I probably wasn't meant to have an answer! lol
Author TheDovic Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 I still think you would do well to set a boundary here. Maybe Joe, but tbh it doesn't upset me when she calls now. I really do see a light at the end of the tunnel for the first time since the breakup and don't want to jeopardise that by changing anything right now, so I'll keep on this road until I freak out again lol. Thanks for replying guys
EgoJoe Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Set the boundary man. You're reeling from the "power" of ignoring contact and it will fade when she "gives up" but if you speak your piece in a manly manner no matter what happens you'll be able to look back at how mature, respectable and congenial you were.
Author TheDovic Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 Set the boundary man. You're reeling from the "power" of ignoring contact and it will fade when she "gives up" but if you speak your piece in a manly manner no matter what happens you'll be able to look back at how mature, respectable and congenial you were. Really hadn't thought of it that way Joe!!! I promise to try, because I know you're right. Just not sure if I'm strong enough (ps, I know Mack's head's exploding right now through frustration with me! lol)
EgoJoe Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 One text or email or whatever. "I told you I was not going to be your friend." Then you may ignore until the cows come home unless she says I made a mistake or wants to talk about a personal revelation.
Zabs Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I am with Joe on this one D! Whether you see it or not it's draining and when she stops...you will again feel pain. Boundaries win because it shows what we are prepared to accept and what we are not. In terms of family, of course they will be mourning! You have a tremendous good influence on her life and now that you are not there, THEY can see exactly HOW much. Understandably they are worried for her but WE are worried for YOU! Like you said, take care of number one...other things will take care of themselves. You are already in a position of power...next call txt or e-mail. Demonstrate it and stop longing it out..it is best to know one way or another and you will have acted with integrity, dignity and honour. Coincidentally, my prediction was spot on! P called this am 02.46! Soooooo predictable Zabs xx
immitable Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Thanks for the update, it is always great to hear news. I think this is good news btw. in terms of your recovery. You got some great advice as well, I think I would also tell her that friends is not an option, and see from there.
Author TheDovic Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 Coincidentally, my prediction was spot on! P called this am 02.46! Soooooo predictable Zabs xx Aren't they so predictable!!!??? I know every Sunday when I'm driving to my therapy session between 3 and 4 I'm going to get a message, and without fail, there it was again lol. Although she's getting more desperate as she also text several times on Saturday and this wasn't usually a text day. Usually Wednesday and Sunday lol. How are you feeling bout it Zabs? PS, cheers Immitable, wise words as always
immitable Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 PS, cheers Immitable, wise words as always thanks Dovic, it seems that I am much better giving advice to others than to myself, it beats me
Zabs Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Aren't they so predictable!!!??? I know every Sunday when I'm driving to my therapy session between 3 and 4 I'm going to get a message, and without fail, there it was again lol. Although she's getting more desperate as she also text several times on Saturday and this wasn't usually a text day. Usually Wednesday and Sunday lol. :lmao:Aww...I don't know what's worse..them being soooo predictable or US KNOWing what everything translates into...what do you thic D? LOL How are you feeling bout it Zabs? :confused:Strange really, given the news Ihad today, majorly second place...I have the weirdest feeling that there is a particular date that he is aiming for....can't shake it Zabs xx
lovesickpuppy Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 TheDovic: I took your advice and bought the Paul Mckenna book and CD...what can I say?! Book seems to drone on, but the CD....WOW!!! Very confusing but I've hardly thought about my ex since then, crazy isn't it?! Thanks for the recommendation Regarding your post, I definitely think the ball is in YOUR court now, take things slow and really think about her actions and why she may be contacting you.
Author TheDovic Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 TheDovic: I took your advice and bought the Paul Mckenna book and CD...what can I say?! Book seems to drone on, but the CD....WOW!!! Very confusing but I've hardly thought about my ex since then, crazy isn't it?! Thanks for the recommendation Regarding your post, I definitely think the ball is in YOUR court now, take things slow and really think about her actions and why she may be contacting you. Yeh the book didn't do much for me either. LOVE the cd though, but keep using it everyday for at least 21 days. It doesn't say that in the book but from researching a bit this apparently brings best results. I stopped using it when I started to feel better after about a week and I started to miss her like crazy, but I started over and am all good again! Sure we won't even remember what they look like soon
EgoJoe Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 Let us know when you set the boundary and what the results of it are. Be strong.
Marianis Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 i admire your willpower!!! .. hope everything works out as you want to!!
Author TheDovic Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 i admire your willpower!!! .. hope everything works out as you want to!! Fingers crossed Joe!!! And thanks Marianis. How are you this fine evening?
Marianis Posted October 12, 2011 Posted October 12, 2011 uuu im good!! cant complain.. have 2 more hours of class but its interesting haha .. i have a new msn btw! it is .. [email protected] since the other is not working anymore!
Author TheDovic Posted October 12, 2011 Author Posted October 12, 2011 Ha you're in class and it's like 2:15am here! I'll add you and then I'm off to bed
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