Misar7 Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Ok so my story is that I was with my ex for 8 yrs and 4 months, he broke up with me back in March. We then at the end of March started seeing each other again, with him talking of having a baby and buying a house. Well, we never actually got back together or never said we were...anyways in beginning of August he started hooking up with some young girl, at first lied to me about it, but finally admitted it, I told him he was vile and to rot in hell basically..he then cut all contact with me with no explanation as if I was dead to him. That was in early August. He changed his # and everything. I left him completely alone I did not even try to get an explanation. Ok, so I have not seen or heard from him at all since early August, I then found out also that he got this girl pregnant. Now his sister and family all said he was happy with her and happy about everything, which really hurt it was like almost 8 1/2 yrs meant nothing! To know she is having his baby and all, it kills me! Well, 2 nights ago I start getting messages from him, saying I just want to see if you would reply if not I understand. Saying how he knows I hate him and have the right to. Then sends a msg saying how he wants to see me in person to apologize to my face, because he owes me at least that. I ignored him at first, but he does owe me an apology after everything I went through, and the yrs with him. Sooo last night I meet up with him so he can talk to me..I was shocked when he was so sincere and even shed tears, telling me how deeply sorry he is for what he has done, for all the pain he has caused me. How he f*cked up bad and he would give anything to take it back and go back in time, he never meant to be with her, that it was just sex and the condom broke. Told me that he still has very strong feelings for me. He said I made this bed and now I have no choice but to lay in it. He said I'm not all happy over this like my family says. Says he wants me in his life, and I should be the one having his baby. He said he thinks about it a lot..and he also said he was going to visit my parents and apologize to them also. Also, we had a dog together which he kept, she was so excited to see me, she was wining and would not leave my side, it all made me break down completely.. he said she loves you she don't like the other girl very much, I told him to just shut up! He said well she is your dog too, you can come see her anytime you want. Ok I'm like well yea you are having a CHILD with another woman, you are gonna be moving her in with you soon, and you are telling me you want me to have your child too????? And to just stop by whenever to see my dog. And that you want me in your life??!! OK WTF????!!!!!! WHAT IS WRONG WITH HIM?? DAMMIT!! HOW DARE HE DO THIS AND SAY THIS TO ME AFTER EVERYTHING HE HAS DONE, AFTER 2 MONTHS OF NOTHING FROM HIM!! Then as I go to leave he tried to kiss me and damn we did kiss and ugh and he tried to sleep with me, it took all I had to push him away, I felt so guilty for even kissing him, I feel so bad, then he hugged me and he wouldn't let go. This is horrible, because I still love that a**hole and I still have chemistry and attraction to him, as he clearly has for me still. OMG why the hell did I even go?? I am so messed up right now! This is a horrible mess! He is having a child with someone else! How can he even think or say he wants me to have his child still, and confess his strong feelings for me? How crazy is he? Why would he do this..why now? I'm crazy for going I know!!
lalalandman Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Wow, consider yourself very lucky. Now, run along and go enjoy your life. You still have a chance to be happy, find someone normal and start a nice family (if that's what you want). He knocked up some other chic. It's just funny because you have a very direct, clear escape route, so why are you not taking it? You really want to stay here in the swampy desolate cold? Get the **** out while the path is still right in front of you.
wilsonx Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Whats funny is one of good friends told me something like this happened to him. She broke up with him and came back a couple months later and wanted to be FWB. She liked him so much she was trying to get pregnant by him to trap him so that he could not escape NC. People are ****ing crazy. My ex was stalking me on an infamous hook up site lol and sending me fake pictures of another girl. Trust me its hard to let go but you just have to do it
TheDovic Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Why do idiots do these things??? He ruined your relationship because he is stupid and selfish and now he realises this!!! I feel so bad for you because you realised how special your relationship was. Pity he didn't!!!
ConfusedT Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 im proud of you for just kissing him. i didnt just do that and i feel like i am back at stage 1 AGAIN!! IT REALLY freakin sucks! stay away from him and the dog if you can, i am on NC day 2 again, i went almost 2 months, got sucked in and havent gone more than 4-5 days now without us talking or... =X im so hurt too.
Author Misar7 Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 I know you all are so right! I know I never should have gone, I knew better but went anyways. I did enjoy seeing him cry and confess how he messed up. But it didn't stop the pain, it don't change the reality of anything, it did not give me closure! I am so sorry ConfusedT it is horrible I know. Oh and believe me it took all I had to push him away to leave. The attraction and chemistry is still VERY strong even after all these years. But I know I can not be anywhere around him, or something will happen. I have to stay completely away! You do the same!
redblack66 Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 The attraction and chemistry is still VERY strong even after all these years. But I know I can not be anywhere around him, or something will happen. I have to stay completely away! You do the same! How do you shut off the attraction and chemistry. This may not go away.
Author Misar7 Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 Well if it has not died after almost 8 1/2 yrs I don't think it will. Just have to stay away.
momto3boys Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 I can understand him realizing he's been wrong, but honestly she's going to have his kid and you'd have to deal with her for the next 18 years and usually things change once a kid comes a long. I would not want to deal with any baby mama's! I am one and i know how i have been to some of the girls my ex has dated!! Stay away!
Author Misar7 Posted October 11, 2011 Author Posted October 11, 2011 Yea, I know it just sucks really bad to be with a man for almost 9 yrs and he randomly hooks up and knocks her up, and don't even love her but is now stuck with some stranger having his child. I have no clue why the hell he is still trying to talk me into having his child also. He may be just straight up crazy I guess! Also a mutual friend has told him about someone that wants to date me, he did not like that very much..really? wtf he slept with some chic got her pregnant. Then disappeared from me. Now he wants me to be in his life and have his kid too and not date someone else? Is this some way of him thinking it will tie me to him and I would not get with someone else, some sort of control over me. I do not know, I do not understand this man at all. It is twisted and it is killing me!
momto3boys Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 You know what? I think my "husband" (soon to be ex husband) would get me pregnant before he left for any military training/deployments, etc. I am pregnant now due in a few weeks and he is out having a good ole' time while im stuck pregnant. He has the luxury of knowing im not with anyone because im pregnant bout to pop! lol. But as soon as the baby pops out i have a feeling he will start trying to come around to play mind games so i dont date. I may be completely wrong. So he may very well be doing the same thing my husband did to me. It sucks, wish i was smarter than that, but honestly didnt think we'd be getting divorced. But getting you knocked up he probably thinks then you'd stick with him no matter what and he could always come back to you because you two have a child together. He may also feel like he needs to say that to you because he is having a child with someone else. Im not sure!
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