mr.dream merchant Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Well for starters, I'm tri-racial. Indian, Black and Native American. People usually confuse me with latino though. Before moving to South Florida, I never really had this issue. I didn't care who she dated, how they looked, spoke, etc. Once I moved to South Florida, I was able to witness the real hood, ghetto, projects if you will. And I was able to witness ignorance, lack of education, etc first hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but the general population of these areas are indeed of African background. There's a good percentage of Latinos and Indians mixed in as well. My issue is this, and it's become more and more apparent now that I've been coming across more and more women who do infact date interracial. It turns me off, a good amount so, when a non-black woman dates and finds black men sexually attractive. Why? I always assume the worst. I assume a dreadlock shaking, gold front wearing, "ay cuh what it ih mayne" speaking black guy. And then I just get disgusted by the fact that this lovely Latina, white, asian, indian or whatever non-black woman she is..would even find a guy like that sexually attractive. And then it bumps her down several significant notches on the ladder to me. I rarely find black woman attractive as well, at least, since I moved out here. Before, I used to date a number of black women. They weren't loud, ignorant, obnoxious, etc. They were educated, lovely, etc. I don't know. I can't be prejudiced against my own people, but since I moved out here I don't even claim black people anymore man. They're such an embarassment :/. I was speaking to a number of lovely women I met on PoF and once I found out they like Black Men, I was turned off completely. I'm talking a giant "DC" next to their name for "don't contact". A couple days ago I made a thread about a woman who's a single mother and an illegal alien (as far as the government is concerned). Turns out her son's father is a black guy. That alone made me send her the "I'm not feelin' it" text message. I have a pretty hood, ghetto, gutter Dominican friend who is the same way. ****, he grew up around black people in the hood. If you spoke to him on the phone? You'd think he was a black guy. But no, he's this European looking Dominican guy. I told him how I felt and he told me he's the same way. He said if he's going to date her, she can't be into black guys. But the crazy **** about it is, he mostly dates/sleeps with black women lol. My older brother? The same way. I don't know, I'd hate to think I'm prejudiced against my own people, maybe its the region I live in.
ShannonMI Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Well for starters, I'm tri-racial. Indian, Black and Native American. People usually confuse me with latino though. Before moving to South Florida, I never really had this issue. I didn't care who she dated, how they looked, spoke, etc. Once I moved to South Florida, I was able to witness the real hood, ghetto, projects if you will. And I was able to witness ignorance, lack of education, etc first hand. I don't mean to be offensive, but the general population of these areas are indeed of African background. There's a good percentage of Latinos and Indians mixed in as well. My issue is this, and it's become more and more apparent now that I've been coming across more and more women who do infact date interracial. It turns me off, a good amount so, when a non-black woman dates and finds black men sexually attractive. Why? I always assume the worst. I assume a dreadlock shaking, gold front wearing, "ay cuh what it ih mayne" speaking black guy. And then I just get disgusted by the fact that this lovely Latina, white, asian, indian or whatever non-black woman she is..would even find a guy like that sexually attractive. And then it bumps her down several significant notches on the ladder to me. I rarely find black woman attractive as well, at least, since I moved out here. Before, I used to date a number of black women. They weren't loud, ignorant, obnoxious, etc. They were educated, lovely, etc. I don't know. I can't be prejudiced against my own people, but since I moved out here I don't even claim black people anymore man. They're such an embarassment :/. I was speaking to a number of lovely women I met on PoF and once I found out they like Black Men, I was turned off completely. I'm talking a giant "DC" next to their name for "don't contact". A couple days ago I made a thread about a woman who's a single mother and an illegal alien (as far as the government is concerned). Turns out her son's father is a black guy. That alone made me send her the "I'm not feelin' it" text message. I have a pretty hood, ghetto, gutter Dominican friend who is the same way. ****, he grew up around black people in the hood. If you spoke to him on the phone? You'd think he was a black guy. But no, he's this European looking Dominican guy. I told him how I felt and he told me he's the same way. He said if he's going to date her, she can't be into black guys. But the crazy **** about it is, he mostly dates/sleeps with black women lol. My older brother? The same way. I don't know, I'd hate to think I'm prejudiced against my own people, maybe its the region I live in. White women find black men attractive because they are different. Like exotic or taboo or something. I personally am not attracted to black men. I'm not racist at all, but just don't find them attractive. Are you subconsciously intimidated by the black men that these women have dated in the past? For whatever reasons?
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 White women find black men attractive because they are different. Like exotic or taboo or something. I personally am not attracted to black men. I'm not racist at all, but just don't find them attractive. Are you subconsciously intimidated by the black men that these women have dated in the past? For whatever reasons? Not at all, if anything I'd say they're intimidated by me, for a number of reasons. When I usually have a male hating on me, its a Black male. Before it used to be "She's probably with him because she was curious about his junk being big." Lmfao. Or maybe because like you said, it's taboo or some equally freaky ****. Or maybe because she's so desperate to keep up with the times, she went and got herself a "cool" black guy. If it's any of the above, I'm turned the **** off period. The stupid part of all this is, I'm mixed with Black. Some people can tell I'm mixed with Black. And usually, the women who are attracted to me are attracted to Black Men. So this whole ordeal is just not helping lol. Right now I have one girl who isn't attracted to black men but is having sex with me on the regular. She knows I'm mixed to.
ShannonMI Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Not at all, if anything I'd say they're intimidated by me, for a number of reasons. When I usually have a male hating on me, its a Black male. Before it used to be "She's probably with him because she was curious about his junk being big." Lmfao. Or maybe because like you said, it's taboo or some equally freaky ****. Or maybe because she's so desperate to keep up with the times, she went and got herself a "cool" black guy. If it's any of the above, I'm turned the **** off period. The stupid part of all this is, I'm mixed with Black. Some people can tell I'm mixed with Black. And usually, the women who are attracted to me are attracted to Black Men. So this whole ordeal is just not helping lol. Right now I have one girl who isn't attracted to black men but is having sex with me on the regular. She knows I'm mixed to. Interesting. Well maybe subconsciously you feel some sort of intimidation or jealously, but don't think that you do? I don't know. It's odd. Or maybe you just aren't particularly proud of your race for whatever reason? I have no clue. It's a mystery to me.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 Interesting. Well maybe subconsciously you feel some sort of intimidation or jealously, but don't think that you do? I don't know. It's odd. Or maybe you just aren't particularly proud of your race for whatever reason? I have no clue. It's a mystery to me. It can't possibly be the former. For one, I steal all of their women. Two, physically (all the stereotypes about Black Men) I have, minus the scrawny legs. I have a proportionate body. Lean Muscular build 214 lbs with a nice sized piece of equipment. So there honestly isn't any intimidation whatsoever. I honestly look down on Black People out here in South Florida. Just their whole situation. Poor, uneducated, very ignorant and close minded. It's crazy. So for a woman to find that attractive at all, is just a turn off in itself. There's some who aren't poor nor uneducated, but still act ghetto, classless, ignorant, and uneducated. It's just not a good look. And when I see a lovely non-black woman with that guy, I think to myself, wow, what could she possibly find attractive about this guy's demeanor alone, we're not even talking physical appearance.. Mind you I'm not grouping ALL Africans. There's just a certain demographic out here in South FL.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 For a "self-confessed socially progressive country" with their first non-white President, the US sure is hung up on racial issues aren't they? Quite why you're intimidated by black men is beyond me? You have some unhealthy obsession there, buddy! Why don't you just focus on this chick you're getting jiggy with instead of the girls you meet who only date black men? True. And I do, I'm just more concerned with why I look down on non-black women who do infact date black men. I usually can a girl if she gets down with black guys. It turns me off.
ShannonMI Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 It can't possibly be the former. For one, I steal all of their women. Two, physically (all the stereotypes about Black Men) I have, minus the scrawny legs. I have a proportionate body. Lean Muscular build 214 lbs with a nice sized piece of equipment. So there honestly isn't any intimidation whatsoever. I honestly look down on Black People out here in South Florida. Just their whole situation. Poor, uneducated, very ignorant and close minded. It's crazy. So for a woman to find that attractive at all, is just a turn off in itself. There's some who aren't poor nor uneducated, but still act ghetto, classless, ignorant, and uneducated. It's just not a good look. And when I see a lovely non-black woman with that guy, I think to myself, wow, what could she possibly find attractive about this guy's demeanor alone, we're not even talking physical appearance.. Mind you I'm not grouping ALL Africans. There's just a certain demographic out here in South FL. Maybe the women are attracted to the "bad boy" appeal of certain black men and that is a turn off to you. What if there was a girl who dated a black guy who wasn't "ghetto" and was educated? Would you still have an issue? And it sounds like you don't like your race very much. Why is that?
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 black men fear jobs and the police. real talk. Let's not turn this thread into a "I dislike Blacks" one. That's not the case here. I have no issues with my Black family, etc. We get along great, etc. I just can't see why a lovely woman of non-black descent would get with a Black dude who's...well, ignorant.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 Maybe the women are attracted to the "bad boy" appeal of certain black men and that is a turn off to you. What if there was a girl who dated a black guy who wasn't "ghetto" and was educated? Would you still have an issue? And it sounds like you don't like your race very much. Why is that? First of all let me show my appreciation to you for not attacking me like most would on this board lol, my reputation isn't much to brag about here. Second, it wouldn't be as bad if the guy wasn't ghetto and was educated..but honestly, I'd still be turned off. I would feel like she could do better, and she's only with homeboy for stereotypes and the sake of "fitting in".
Cracker Jack Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 ^That's a bit unfair, don't you think? What's better, exactly, if the black guy is doing his thing and not a ghetto lowlife?
ShannonMI Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 First of all let me show my appreciation to you for not attacking me like most would on this board lol, my reputation isn't much to brag about here. Second, it wouldn't be as bad if the guy wasn't ghetto and was educated..but honestly, I'd still be turned off. I would feel like she could do better, and she's only with homeboy for stereotypes and the sake of "fitting in". No problem. You're on here to try to figure out why you feel the way you do. Nothing wrong with that. Do you want to feel differently or are you cool with feeling the way you feel about women that date black guys?
ShannonMI Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 You mean is he cool with being a racist? He obviously is. Invert racism is the worst. Probably hates his own skin color more than anything. I would hope this isn't the case. How sad would that be?
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 No problem. You're on here to try to figure out why you feel the way you do. Nothing wrong with that. Do you want to feel differently or are you cool with feeling the way you feel about women that date black guys? I guess I am cool with it, I've been getting by with this same mind set. Just been coming across alot of single mothers who's child's father is a black guy. That eventually pushes me away. If a girl dates black guys it's cool, I just couldn't date her. Have some fun with her, sure.
ShannonMI Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I guess I am cool with it, I've been getting by with this same mind set. Just been coming across alot of single mothers who's child's father is a black guy. That eventually pushes me away. If a girl dates black guys it's cool, I just couldn't date her. Have some fun with her, sure. I think I can understand where you are coming from in a sense because although I'm white, I DETEST white trash. I mean HATE them. If a guy I liked had dated a white trash, trailer park girl, I would be turned off. I'm not racist against my own race at all, but I hate white trash. So maybe you just hate the uneducated, ghetto black people? Or maybe you don't hate them, but don't understand why girls would be attracted to them.
Quiet Storm Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Yes, you are prejudiced. Without knowing me, you would judge me (as a half Irish/ half Cherokee married to a black guy). Because of the color of my husband, you look down on me. That's prejudiced. There are a lot of men like you. They don't usually mind if black guys are with the fat, unattractive women. But when an attractive woman is with a black guy, she is tainted. They must have low self esteem or they must be damaged or there has to be something wrong with them because they are attracted to black guys! A look of shock, followed by disgust has been a common reaction when men that know me through work see who I'm married to, or see my kids. There are low class people in every race. What you may consider loud and rude, others may see as passionate and honest. My black husband treats me well. He is a great father, a good provider, he still does sweet things for me, he's creative and passionate in the bedroom, he mows the lawn and shovels the snow and kills the spiders. He can be a little loud, though. And because I think he's hot and I married him, I'm a few rungs down on your ladder. Yeah, that's prejudiced.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 Yes, you are prejudiced. Without knowing me, you would judge me (as a half Irish/ half Cherokee married to a black guy). Because of the color of my husband, you look down on me. That's prejudiced. There are a lot of men like you. They don't usually mind if black guys are with the fat, unattractive women. But when an attractive woman is with a black guy, she is tainted. They must have low self esteem or they must be damaged or there has to be something wrong with them because they are attracted to black guys! A look of shock, followed by disgust has been a common reaction when men that know me through work see who I'm married to, or see my kids. There are low class people in every race. What you may consider loud and rude, others may see as passionate and honest. My black husband treats me well. He is a great father, a good provider, he still does sweet things for me, he's creative and passionate in the bedroom, he mows the lawn and shovels the snow and kills the spiders. He can be a little loud, though. And because I think he's hot and I married him, I'm a few rungs down on your ladder. Yeah, that's prejudiced. I'm no more a prejudiced person than you are a slut no? Let's not throw labels around please.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 LOL you asked the question, and then when you get the answer in the coldest, realest way possible, you call her a slut. You South Floridian Niggaz be trippin', fo realz. I didn't call her a slut at all.
ShannonMI Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 LOL you asked the question, and then when you get the answer in the coldest, realest way possible, you call her a slut. You South Floridian Niggaz be trippin', fo realz. And what's with using the "N" word in every post? Ugh I hate that.
OliveOyl Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 True. And I do, I'm just more concerned with why I look down on non-black women who do infact date black men. I usually can a girl if she gets down with black guys. It turns me off. So don't date them. It's your hangup, not theirs. If you choose to let something which in my mind is ridiculously petty narrow your dating pool, so be it. What's the problem?
ShannonMI Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 So don't date them. It's your hangup, not theirs. If you choose to let something which in my mind is ridiculously petty narrow your dating pool, so be it. What's the problem? I think he's trying to understand WHY he feels the way he does when he himself is part black. I think it's some weird subconscious sh*t having to do with not being proud of who he is or his race.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) Yeah it's petty, but aren't we all when it comes to dating and our preferences? I know tons of men who feel the same way about a non-black woman who has a thing for black men. They won't openly admit it like I do, but amongst ourselves, they feel the same exact way. It has little to do with anyone's shortcomings like most would assume, I just feel like a non-black woman who gets down with black men or only black men, it just makes her come off a certain way. Trashy if you will. In fact, all of the women I know who are obsessed with black men, and/or date black men, are on the sleazy side. That's why it turns me off. I instantly relate it to being trashy. Ashamed to admit, but I kicked it with a woman for a couple of weeks who only dated/slept with black men. Coincidentally, she was the woman I caught a curable STD from. That alone made me put the nail in the coffin. The other women were obsessed with large penises, others were groupies for rap stars, r& b singers, and other simply wanted to fit in. But the main point is, all of them had a bit of this trashy demeanor to them. Edited October 10, 2011 by mr.dream merchant
ShannonMI Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Yeah it's petty, but aren't we all when it comes to dating and our preferences? I know tons of men who feel the same way about a non-black woman who has a thing for black men. They won't openly admit it like I do, but amongst ourselves, they feel the same exact way. It has little to do with anyone's shortcomings like most would assume, I just feel like a non-black woman who gets down with black men or only black men, it just makes her come off a certain way. Trashy if you will. In fact, all of the women I know who are obsessed with black men, and/or date black men, are on the sleazy side. That's why it turns me off. I instantly relate it to being trashy. Ashamed to admit, but I kicked it with a woman for a couple of weeks who only dated/slept with black men. Coincidentally, she was the woman I caught a curable STD from. That alone made me put the nail in the coffin. Oh boy! Well lots of white men have STD's too, but I guess I can see where you are coming from. What doesn't make sense is that you are part black yourself and you yet feel this way. It's just unusual.
Author mr.dream merchant Posted October 10, 2011 Author Posted October 10, 2011 Oh boy! Well lots of white men have STD's too, but I guess I can see where you are coming from. What doesn't make sense is that you are part black yourself and you yet feel this way. It's just unusual. Yeah, that's what kind of bothers me. I never was like this until I moved to South Florida. Most of the Black population out here....smh. Even my father, a proud Black Man says since coming out here he doesn't claim his own people anymore. They're just so crazy and ignorant out here. A demeanor looked down on by all people of all colors, creeds, and ages.
OliveOyl Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) Yeah it's petty, but aren't we all when it comes to dating and our preferences? I know tons of men who feel the same way about a non-black woman who has a thing for black men. They won't openly admit it like I do, but amongst ourselves, they feel the same exact way. It has little to do with anyone's shortcomings like most would assume, I just feel like a non-black woman who gets down with black men or only black men, it just makes her come off a certain way. Trashy if you will. In fact, all of the women I know who are obsessed with black men, and/or date black men, are on the sleazy side. That's why it turns me off. I instantly relate it to being trashy. Ashamed to admit, but I kicked it with a woman for a couple of weeks who only dated/slept with black men. Coincidentally, she was the woman I caught a curable STD from. That alone made me put the nail in the coffin. The other women were obsessed with large penises, others were groupies for rap stars, r& b singers, and other simply wanted to fit in. But the main point is, all of them had a bit of this trashy demeanor to them. Yes but it's an incorrect belief system of yours, not a truth. For one thing, people are not objects or merchandise that can be "tainted" solely by who they've been in contact with in their past. For another, there is clearly something about certain races (black, etc.) that IS appealing to women. But again, it's your hangup. They are simply enjoying themselves with a wider pool of potential partners. So to answer your original question, I would say, yes, you are prejudiced. Is it really a problem for you? Or are you simply trying to justify it? Edited October 10, 2011 by OliveOyl
ShannonMI Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 Yeah, that's what kind of bothers me. I never was like this until I moved to South Florida. Most of the Black population out here....smh. Even my father, a proud Black Man says since coming out here he doesn't claim his own people anymore. They're just so crazy and ignorant out here. A demeanor looked down on by all people of all colors, creeds, and ages. But you also said that if the girl dated an educated black man, you would still be turned off. So I think it's something deep rooted inside of you. You may not have any idea what it is.
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