Gypsie Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 (edited) Does no contact really work. Getting an ex boyfriend's attention of they are the ones that dumped you? I have been so good. I have not rang up crying or sent nasty texts at all. Just acting like I have moved on. It has been so tempting but sticking to my guns and showing that I am unaffected and moving on. Hidden he's stuff on there so I do not see any of it. I have great friends around me as well. This has helped immensely and this guy has seen I have been going out a lot with them. On Facebook of all places. LoL. Checking in everywhere and showing I am getting out and not sitting at home moping. One. Is even a close friend of he's, who I became really good friends with as well. Have not let the break up affect my relationship with her. It has nothing to do with her. Not constantly bagging him out to her either. Have seen that she can keep the two separate which is good. LoL if I meet someone new by then. They can always sense when the radar has fallen off them. Mind you. It has only been like 3 days. Hope I stay strong! Edited October 10, 2011 by Gypsie
FitChick Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 It's no different than breaking another bad habit. Eventually it won't be so difficult. Try not to notice if he is checking up on you, though.
carhill Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 No contact is a healing tool. Using it to get someone's 'attention' and yet staying engaged in the periphery of their life won't really facilitate healing, since the psyche is still engaged in the *feeling* of the former relationship. If you're doing that, then that's OK, but don't call it 'no contact', because it's not. Healing will be indicated by neutral feelings when there is incidental contact, like you running into him and his new love interest out and about in the world. You won't be jealous or covetous, but rather happy for him or at minimum neutral. Good luck. For more information, read the thread in my signature.
carhill Posted October 10, 2011 Posted October 10, 2011 I dated someone who felt about their ex like that, ironically while I was separated. It didn't last. She was still too 'connected' to the emotions of the past, in her case, a divorce seven years in her past. I've also had female friends who have stayed 'stuck' for a period long enough where it made the friendship tedious and unbalanced. Anger is a normal part of the letting go process. No contact helps one to process it in a healthy way. Hope it works out.
Trovador Posted October 11, 2011 Posted October 11, 2011 Of course, there is no such thing as total indifference... if you are happy for them you still care about them... same thing if you still hate their guts... On the other hand, if you couldn't care less if you are healed or not, it's because you prolly are healed... I don't care anymore if I think or not of my ex, I don't care if I am over her or I really moved on... I care deeply about another woman... so I must be free by now...
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